Irony, my old jackass of a friend

Let me rephrase that:
Irony, you jackass son of a cross-eyed whore. And screw you too, Murphy.

Remember how I’ve been whining about losing a PoS in a C6 for the last few weeks? Last night, I get this:
.

I logon, and someone by the name of Henner Borgenson has apparently found the PoS and contracted the BMs to Blake, who contracts them to me. We get in our scan alts, burn a way out through four systems in under an hour, and I head back to the PoS to get my Viator, my ship of choice for hostile environments.

Unfortunately, my Viator, rigged as it was, holds 7.5k m3. A large pos, packaged, is 8k m3. So, I take the only available hauler that can hold 8k m3, a trusty Iteron V that someone fit low-friction nozzles to for some reason. I put two stabs, two nanos and an expanded cargohold in the lows and a protocloak in the high, rounding it off with as many shield extenders as I can fit in the midslots and an invul field to cover it. I head out to highsec, and fly to where the BMs are, pick em up, and fly through WH space to a C6, which, lo and behold, has the PoS. I start to unanchor, warp out, warp to 100km, and cloak, setting an orbit of 160km. 55 minutes later, my hauler has made it to warp-to range of the PoS and it’s about to unanchor. I warp to it, scoop it and burn like hell out through the C6 and connecting C2, making it to highsec. Exuberant, I log onto an alt and start clearing anomalies in my C1 while warping the hauler. Half an hour later, I tab into the hauler and notice someone firing at me with cruise missiles. Five seconds later, I’m warping in a pod to the nearest station, buying an itty V and a cargo expander, clinging to the brief hope that the gank was a solo one and the dude is docking to get his own hauler. Shit don’t happen, I arrive at the scene and find my wreck completely looted, along with three battlecruiser wrecks.
It could be the fact that it’s currently 2:30 in the morning, but I really didn’t feel too bothered by this. I guess that I’d already written the tower off as a loss and was treating it as a bonus.
Anyway, I am now, hypothetically, 360 mil poorer than I was a few hours ago, not including the under 5 mil hauler. I WAS going to give Henner Borgenson a letter praising the skies and all the heavens for this glorious day, but he’ll have to settle for a “thanks for thinking of me” note. And some iskies once I manage to get a third and fourth tower running >.>

If anyone asks, I made 20 mil off the sleeper sites as I was ganked for 360 mil.

So, the end result from this is moving “normal space” up to number three on my “list of things to loathe”, finally overtaking “Idiots in expensive ships” but still behind “well-organized gatecamps” and “Pomeranians”

Next time, I’m employing red frog industries for my hauling needs…Curse my impatient self!


Operation Passive Income

In games, there’s generally two kinds of income: Active and passive. Active is, say, running a mission or killing ten wild boars, while passive incomes are essentially investing your pile of money in something and coming back after a certain amount of time to find a larger amount of money.

After losing the PoS Calculated Risk(Again, if anyone sees it, take a potshot at it and I’ll convo you from the “pos under attack” message), a friend pointed out to me how incredibly stupid it was to have a PoS running reactions in a C6, which was both difficult to access and was under impending doom from a carrier or dread, as well as having no moon mining ability, essentially making it nullsec in terms of risk but with none of the supplemented costs of moon mining.

So, I locked myself in a few gravs for a few days and managed to scrape together about 500 mil and enough self esteem to not shoot myself after spending a few days mining. After talking with a friend, he loaned me about 200 mil for starting up my idea and I started training an alt to manage the thing. This original hauling alt was followed by a combat alt, an emergency scan alt and a trade alt, so as of now all of my characters are involved in WH space in one way or another.

The origonal “Plan Awesome” went as follows:
1. Buy a PoS, silos, reactors, materials.
2. find/go into a WH you found previously
3. Setup the PoSes and get the reactions running
4. Forget about the entire thing for a week or so.
5. Come back, get the products to jita
6. Profit!

Unfortunately, since I needed defenses on the towers, I was only able to use coupling arrays, meaning that instead of my projected “once a week” screw with, I had to manage these things every 14 hours. For the sake of my sleep schedule, I screwed with them every 12 hours.

Anyrate, the first revision of Plan Awesome came when we scanned a route to highsec that went through a C1. I logged a scan alt off in it, waited a few days to make sure it was unoccupied, and scanned an exit 3 jumps from jita at the same time we got a highsec exit from our C6 10 jumps from jita at the same time our freighter alt finished hauling my pile of PoS equipment crap to Jita.

Now, anyone with half a spinal column will tell you that you need a fleet of battleships and/or a dread or two to take down a large pos. Assuming, yaknow, if they could stop screaming long enough to form an opinion. A C1 has the nice perk of only allowing a BC or smaller inside, so on paper my PoS was practically immortal…assuming I didn’t get someone so pissed off at me that they built a PoS inside my WH, built a dread at it and used that to take down my PoSes, so I was able to completely forget about defenses and anchor reactors and silos to the large towers, meaning that I now only need to screw with these things every few days.

Anyway, the first PoS went up with several small, unimportant incidents that were all managed eventually and I was able to get a scan ship, an emergency scan ship, a second emergency scan ship and an emergency scan alt in his own scan ship logged off just in case I lost all three, which seemed impossible. Murphy’s law is an asshole.

Anyrate, remember how my main corp got wardecced?

To avoid getting my newbie char ganked, I made a corp and moved all parties involved into it. Well, at some point, unnoticed by me, one of the members of that wardeccing corp found his way into my WH and logged off.

Let me reiterate, there is absolutely no link between my main corp and the alt corp. Unless the dude was somehow in our private chat channel, there is no way to connect us. Anyway, my first day in the C1, I warp to where the static was yesterday and start scanning for a new one in a tech one scan frig. An arazu decloaks and starts shooting at me. I’m so surprised that he manages to get a lock on me and kills my less-than-a-mil scan ship, but I still get the pod out, get another scan frig, fit it, fly it to a different safespot and through a series of coincidences lose that one too. A bit unnerved, I log the scan alt on and scan a static, warp to it, warp my combat char to him, and head back to empire and buy more scan ships.
Over the course of the next week he kills four more scan ships and three salvage boats, culminating with me, sitting in a cleared anomaly while my salvage char zips around in a tristan picking up wrecks when the arazu warps in and starts locking the tristan. I tell the combat pilot, in a drake, to lock the arazu while telling the tristan to run his stupid ass off. He gets out, and the Arazu scrambles the drake. Then jams it. No stranger to ECM, I check my cargo for FoF missiles(damnit!) and keep trying to get a lock on him, waiting for the inevitable triple-ecm-fail that’s screwed my ECM ships over so many times. The jams fail, I get a lock, I launch one salvo of missiles and a falcon with a name suspiciously similar to the Arazu’s name warps in and jams me. They both launch drones and start pecking away at me. My only offensive option at this point is to launch my three hobgoblins(lost 2 during the anomaly) and hope I can eliminate enough of their DPS that they don’t break my passive tank. Surprise surprise, they’re 30km away and pop all my drones. I run through my options, and I’ve got none. Wait, no, make that one. One extremely stupid one. I log on my hauling char and head to my static to buy some FoF missiles.

I get to the static at about the same time that he starts getting past my tank, when I notice that he’s stopped scramming me. Trying to look as combaty as possible, I align to a planet and warp out just before my tank goes to armor. He posts in local:

“I’d kill you, but IRL issues. Bye”

I think I’d feel better if he had killed me…

Anyway, after a few days he leaves my WH and I get back into the swing of things, managing the PoS, running anomalies and selling stuff in jita. I manage to make it to jita with three days of products and nanoribbons and profit about 200 mil, so I switch to a more expensive, but higher profit moon goo reaction. That’s where I am now. The revised plan awesome now involves expanding this operation to every moon so that no-one can build a PoS of their own and attack me with a dread or something. And maybe to anchor some guns at some point.


Know your ship types

Sooooo…. goonies collapsed.

Anyway, not that I really don’t care about an extremely aggressive environment where everything can be going swimmingly up until the point that you lose everything to a force so overwhelming that you almost logoff out of fear, but I’ll stick with my extremely aggressive environment where everything can be going swimmingly up until the point where you lose ALMOST everything to a slightly overwhelming force that usually leaves within 24 hours. Moving on, knowing your ship types.

I’ve already whined about not realizing that an Onxy was a Heavy Interdictor, and back when we almost lost the Rorqual I thought that a Falcon was an interceptor and spent most of the fight wondering how the hell an interceptor was permajamming me. Anyway, my big reason/exciting event you guys come here to read about happened last night.

A corp mate was mining while I was managing PoS shenanigans when he called combat probes. He made it to the PoS and got into his Cheetah while I took my Buzzard to the static C5 to see if the probes had come in from there. In the static, it’s static C2 had closed so we were a bit perplexed as to how someone had come in through here, until we found an incoming C5. Since we still had the same number of sigs in system as we had a good hour or two before the gank, we assumed someone had poked their head through and gone back out.

Great, now I’ve gotta beat myself over the head with a cloaking device.

Anyway, we decided that the best course of action would be to pick up the two or three cans of crokite and hole up for a few hours at which point we would try and close the C5. So, not stupid/crazy enough to take the Orca out for pickup, we moved an impel and itty V into the belt only to have a Sabre drop in on us, drop a bubble and fly out.

Now, my first impulse when stuck in an industrial (top speed is about 100m/s) in a warp bubble(usually 10km radius) is to take my hands off the keyboard and make a nice sandwich. You know, something with gouda and salami, mayo and some mustard, then come back and see if anyone else survived that could scan an entrance. But, after a few seconds of contemplating of which meat to use for the snack, I noticed that
A. The sabre had warped 40km away, meaning that this warp bubble was the stationary type and
B. I was pretty close to one of the bubble edges.

Slamming on the 1mn AB that seemed like a stupid joke at the time, my thought process of which cheese to use was completely shoved aside by the thought
“BURN TO THE EDGE! BURN!”
“AND DON’T FORGET THE CROKITE!”
Dutifully puttering towards the edge of the bubble, I looked back and noticed the impel trying to pull a logoffski, which apparently doesn’t work while in the middle of a sphere designed to inhibit warping off. A mid-sized fleet warped in, and started pounding on the impel while my scrawny t1 self continued puttering away. The impel popped about the same time I cleared the edge, and I attempted to warp away only to be oneshotted by a stiff breese from the nighthawk present.
The only difference between this annoying gank and the many, many, many other ganks I’ve been through is that there was a warp bubble present and I still managed to get my pod out, so I’ll take whatever win I can get. I scanned a new entrance, we got the impel pilot back in, and plan to start mining again once the unnoticed K162 in our system we hadn’t noticed vanishes.

Anyway, knowing that the Sabre was a regular interdictor instead of a heavy interdictor probably would have helped me maybe get the rigged itty V out as well as an empty pod…

This has been mentioned before, but ‘m gonna throw it up anyway. Handy little quiz on knowing ships.
http://phase.org/Eve/ShipQuiz

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to make a sandwich.


January Screenshot Collection

January was the month of new ships for my characters. My main got into a Thanatos (Gallente Carrier) while my alt got into an Obelisk (Gallente Freighter). Here are some screenshots of their maiden voyage, mining in WH space (as always), and some attempted ganks by WH pirates.

  1. New Obelisk heading out of The Forge link
  2. Sleipnir stealing Arkonor from our jetcans after a failed gank link
  3. Mining a 150,000 unit Bistot roid link
  4. Tengu, Megathron, and Drake taking on sleepers in a C3 link
  5. Three Mobile Medium Warp Disruptor I‘s around a WH link
  6. A Helios approaching a Lava Planet link
  7. Route back to Jita from deep in 0.0 link
  8. Oneiros remote repping 3x ships during a WH camp link
  9. Gank during the onlining of a Large POS link
  10. ECM fun with a corpmate link
  11. Pretty POS shot in front of a planet link
  12. 5 Hulks and 1 Orca on a Arkonor roid link

Let me know if a monthly screenshot collection is something you guys want to see as a continuing feature.


Wormholes: how not to die

1. There is no way not to die. You are going to die.
2. Possibly quickly.
3. Protect yourself from financial ruin by buying and hiding in a PoS
4. Protect your PoS from ruin by having stront and 2-3 weeks of fuel, at least, at all times.
5. Never enter an outgoing or incoming WH without either a fully insured unfitted ship and an alternate route back in, or a scan probe launcher and a shitload of patience.
6. Did I mention you are going to die?
7. The directional is your friend. But it’s a shitty friend. It’s a way around getting ganked so the gankers have ways around it. Expect to die.
8. If you find yourself outside your PoS for any reason, be aligned to a planet.
9. Don’t forget to cloak when scanning.
10. There are people who get their giggles by killing people like you. They are, statistically, much better at killing you than you are at not being killed.
11. Never leave your PoS without some method of getting back to it from highsec. This usually means having a scan alt logged off in system or in the PoS.
12. If you don’t have a scan alt, you may as well kiss your assets goodbye and start waiting for PoS fuel notifications as your base dies cold and alone because you got podded and didn’t have a damn scan alt.
13. Any WH connecting you to somewhere else is a potential threat. Be aware of incoming WHs, because someone opened that door straight to you and you better believe that they’re gonna use it.
14. If you see a ship you don’t recognize on the scanner, run. And possibly alert anyone you happen to be with.
15. If your corp mates say run, run.
16. If your corp mates start shouting, run.
17. if your corp mate types a sentence fragment, spelled poorly, consisting of any two of the following words, run.
“Sisters””fuck””combat probes””probes””directional””crap””dead””podded””run””any ship name you or he is not currently flying””back to pos””damnit””ANYTHING in capslock””gibberish”
18. Pick some symbol on your keyboard, like # or %. Rename all the ships at your pos with that symbol. If you see a ship without that symbol, run. Warning, easily countered.
19. NEVER assume that the designated Dir scanner dude is scanning. If he has a heart attack or takes a piss, you’re fucked and he could just say they had good scan ships.
20. Did I mention you’re going to die?
21. Getting whatever you came for safely inside the PoS does not mean it’s safe. Get it to Jita first, then call it safe.
22. Anchor your hangar and maintenance array next to each other. Bookmark one of them and call it “PoS” warp to it in case of speedy ship swap.
23. Heavy interdictors are small ships that mean you can’t run away, and by the time you see one on the scanner, you’re already fucked.
24. DO NOT BRING A T2 RIGGED FACTION FIT HULK INTO A WH, YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT IF YOU DO SO.(Yes, this has happened. Lost it in under 3 hours. No, it wasn’t me.)
24b. Hell, don’t bring ANYTHING faction fit or t2 rigged unless a) you’re rich enough to buy two more of em or b) you don’t believe in Murphy’s Law.
25. Do not rig your hulk with drone mining augmenters or cargo expander. Use low-friction nozzles, they decrease align time and have saved my ass when there was literally a second difference between getting scrammed by a Loki and getting away.
26. Active tank for sleepers, buffer fit for PvP, mix of both if the site isn’t too hard for gank insurance.
27. If you are attacked during a sleeper run, target the ship and try and scram him. If you didn’t bring scrams to a sleeper fight(understandable) shoot him. The sleepers will eventually switch to him.
28. If a corp mate types”Hey, is that your ____” start aligning and getting up to speed with the nearest celestial until clarification is obtained.
29. If you see a scan ship on the directional, scan again and it’s not there, do not assume that he has left, or so help me I will tear a hole from my WH to yours through sheer rage and beat you over the head with a cloaking device.
30. If you live in a class 5 wormhole, remember iambeastx has a static class 5 entrance and will find you…. eventually. Assuming he figures out how to work a scan ship.
31. If you came into the WH to fight, there are people in here already that fight better than you. If you came here to mine, watch out for the first two groups.
32. Some people will build carriers and rorquals in places that mass limitations would not usually allow them. If a carrier drops on you in a C3, don’t be surprised.
33. Carriers can get into C4s, but not easily and only from a nullsec or incoming link from a C5 or C6. Don’t be too worried.
34. When in a C5 or C6, be worried about carriers. One carrier can shut down an entire mining op until they get bored, and a carrier w/ support fleet can screw over anything else. Except…another carrier with support fleet. Have fun.
35. If your PoS has no guns, jerks will shoot it. If your PoS has guns, they will send interceptors to extinguish your ammo. If you employ webbers, they will warp out and rep. If you employ warp scrammers, they will spider tank. The goal of a WH pos is not to destroy but to annoy the fuck out of. If they have a small force, then they’re not a problem for a PoS. If they have a large force, then they’re not gonna be bothered by a few turrets. Employ shield hardeners, SB ops, and jammers to make them lose interest.
36. Have the max amount of strontium. Or you will regret it.
37. If you afk outside the bubble of a PoS, you will probably die. If you’re cloaked, you may get uncloaked. It happens.
38. C1-C2 are soloable with few skills. C3s take some skills, C4s require two people and RR, C5s require at least five people and C6s require at least ten attentive people.
39. You are going to die.
40. Do not bring implants into a WH and expect them to last over a week. I bought a set of +3s, they lasted 3 months, then I got podded twice in the same 3 days.
41. Skilled scanners can scan out a mining op and only have the probes visible to you for seven seconds. And in the WH, the scanners operate. Make the connection?
42. Never assume that the ships you see on the scanner are the only ships in the wormhole.
43. Whs will make you obscenely rich, assuming you can find an unoccupied one, not get ganked within the first week and get whatever you came for out of the wh.
44. A wormhole in your system is not active unless you or someone else warps to it. Do not activate your static WH unless you need an exit, or you’ve got one more route people can use to find you.
45. By popular opinion, a drake is a good, cheap ship for running up to class three WHs. Don’t forget, popular opinion in an internet spaceship game doesn’t mean much.

To date, I’ve lost two hulks, a covetor, a vexor, a thorax, several Itty Vs, two pods, three domis and a large tower to the WH.
BTY if anyone finds the tower “Calculated Risk” floating in a C6 somewhere and can get me a route there, drop me a line.
45. Don’t type a blog post while mining in a C6.