Again, if you hadn’t noticed

My corporation, in my CEO’s unquantifiable wisdom, has joined Severance as of two days ago.

In unrelated news, as of a day ago Severance have been wardeced by…

I’ve forgotten their name. But they’re the guys that hide out in jita and shoot people silly enough to not have neutral freighter alts.

Oh, those silly people. Anywho, the change and/or addition of standings added a few more reds to my red list, which I expressed in the usual way:

haav0c > because the number of stabs will drastically increaes target time.
haav0c > hmm
haav0c > o noes
haav0c > ender!
haav0c > i’m red to you now!
haav0c > we have to hate eachother now!
EnderCapitalG > oh snap
EnderCapitalG > WELL UM, I HATE YOU
haav0c > I HATE YOU ALSO
EnderCapitalG > also, you’re neut to me?
haav0c > erm
haav0c > so… i hate you… but..
EnderCapitalG > lol
haav0c > you have no opinion on me but will still probably shoot me on sight.
EnderCapitalG > Oh yes.
EnderCapitalG > We have like… no blues 🙂
haav0c > mmhm
haav0c > right
haav0c > i think someone dropped the ball somewhere.
EnderCapitalG > words of our CEO’s: NAPs are for fags
haav0c > right, right.
haav0c > nice policy.
haav0c > btw i’m technically part of NC right now
EnderCapitalG > we used to be blue to 3-4 pepole in Curse, but WTB got mad and reset us, and got everyone else to reset us
EnderCapitalG > so we’ve been killing WTB left and right \o/
haav0c > gyah, like four reds in channel!
haav0c > lessie…
haav0c > cyberin
haav0c > no suprise there.
EnderCapitalG > lol
haav0c > and morden
haav0c > morwen
haav0c > who has a bitchin alliance logo
EnderCapitalG > lol
haav0c > eeh
haav0c > ender!
haav0c > i’m sorry.
haav0c > i can’t hate you
haav0c > NO-ONE MUST KNOW OF OUR FORBIDDEN AQUANTANCE!
EnderCapitalG > hahah
haav0c > i feel like there should be a second line there.
haav0c > but i can’t think of the right statment
haav0c > they all sound either stupid or homoerotic
EnderCapitalG > We live on opposite sides of new eden, not like anyone would know anyway
haav0c > usually both.
EnderCapitalG > lol
EnderCapitalG > (no homo)
haav0c > exactly.
haav0c > gyah! perseus!
Perseus Kallistratos > 0/
haav0c > according to my standings i hate you too!
EnderCapitalG > rofl
haav0c > which is awkward! because i like your blog!
Perseus Kallistratos > story of my life
haav0c > i am so conflicted!
EnderCapitalG > lol
haav0c > i’m going back into WH space.
haav0c > can’t you see this hatred is tearing us apart?
haav0c > gyah! reds in jita!
haav0c > THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

In a perfectly rational manner. Joining puts me in the same corp alliance as Nerevar Dwemor, writer of the german blog http://nsup.blogspot.com/. If you, like most of America, don’t speak Deutsch, google chrome’s page translator is nothing short of erotic in its page-translating marvels.

Also click that link, I wanna see how far I can artificially shoot his page views up. Give, people!

Another link you should click if you feel like it is Out of Pod Experience. Seeing as there’s no content besides the obligatory “Hi, I’m me” post and the “I wanna be part of the blog pack” post, there’s not much reason to click. Yet.

Actually, I only linked him because he commented on a bunch of apparently-better-known blogs in order to increase traffic and didn’t drop a comment on mine, so this is to make him feel all guilty and such.

Wait, oops, he did and it just got caught by the spam filter because it was literally just his blog. No “I just sent you 50 mil because I laughed so hard” or “my god, I was moved to tears” or any of the other comments I like to pretend I get.

And since this is turning into a link post without me noticing, here’s some neat physics engine shiznit that totally restored my faith in virtual reality before I’m too old to consider using it.

Continuing, here’s my favorite star wars dance music.

The sandwich I had for lunch.

Star Wars Force Unleashed II trailer. (do want)

and goatse my favorite techno song.

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You may play too much Eve if:

Finally finished!

1. You run away from car collisions so you don’t get podded.
2. You’ve submitted several charters to NASA setup a PoS on the moon but can’t get approval.
3. You try to use your Rorqual to compress music files.
4. You open a petition when you can’t find your other sock.
5. You see a flash in the corner of your eye every time someone walks into a room with you.
6. You refer to your pants as “cargohold”.
7. You often participate in seven conversations at once.
8. You steal someone’s pencil, put it on your desk, and punch them when they take it back, claiming they’ve stolen it from you.
9. You only respond to your in-game name.
10. You find yourself using “point”,”jam”, and “tackle” in your weekly football meet.
11. You lead excursions into hostile office space with interns scouting.
12. You know every possible fit for the Rifter but are often criticized for poor dress sense.
13. You’d wear high heels if it’d give you a DPS bonus.
14. You nano fit your car.
15. You once accidentally referred to a cop as a “gate camper” while recieving a speeding ticket.
16. You twitch whenever you hear the targeting sound.
17. You know your gang-mates more than your childhood friends.
18. Whenever there’s an awkward silence, your first thought is lag.
19. You have the conversion from UTC to your timezone memorized.
20. You’ve adjusted your internal clock so you sleep through downtime.
21. You prioritize your PoS’s reinforced timer over your 10th year anniversary dinner.
22. You’ve placed a picture of an overloaded MWD on your dashboard next to a button. The button does nothing, it’s just fun to push.
23. Your morning wake up alarm is the target locking loop.
24. You’ve wrapped Mountain Dew cans with quafe logos.
25. You keep five paper mache’ warrior IIs in your pocket at all times.
26. Local stores have banned you for grabbing shopping bags while yelling “FLIPPED”.
27. You threaten bullies with ganking and podding, no ransom.
28. You have an ingrained response to twitch whenever someone yells “hey bob!”
29. A house fire is lower priority than escaping a gatecamp to log safely.
30. You find yourself discussing college-level chemistry questions in one channel and trolling in the other.
31. You sing along to Eve music while commuting.
32. Your economics teacher keeps asking you if you’ve taken the class before.
33. You accidentally say 23/7 instead of 24/7.
34. You check your room for wormholes every day.
35. You know six Minmatar jokes but never tell them in public, because no-one but you laughs.
36. You prioritize roams over breakfast
37. You’ve learned more German over the summer than three semesters of college.
38. “The only good red is a dead red” mentality still applies to you.
39. You can manage a production chain from moon goo to falcon but can’t keep an organized closet.
40. You know everyone involved in the gallente-caldari war but confuse Robert Lee for King George.
41. When you FC office meetings, you think about podding bill from accounting.
42. You fear getting mugged less than your PoS running out of coolant.
43. You’ve stenciled a Dramiel to your crotch rocket.
44. You walk away from explosions, not because it looks cool, but to decrease your sig radius.
45. You ask morgue owners if they want to compare collections.
46. Your phone calls to spies in other alliances have put you on a FBI list.
47. You’ve replaced your target locking alarm clock with a hull damage sound alarm.
48. You think you can repair your car with nanite paste and duct tape.
49. Your wife sleeps through the alarm because she knows it’s only the PI timer.
50. The thorax->phallic comparison is no longer amusing to you.
51. No-one’s noticed that your spreadsheets in the office have no bearing to what your company is working on.

Thanks to everyone who helped, you know who you are.


HA

Unfortunatley, he didn’t convo me in rage, which is a pity as I had a nice little script worked out

Him > WHU U KIL ME?
Me > hmm…
Me > Were you mining?
Him > YES
Him > U JERK
Me > Well, If you were mining, then that makes you a target for our new aggressive compeditor management policy.
Him > WUT?
Me > It’s a controversial new tactic to increase mineral prices for all miners, by eliminating all miners aside from our corp.
Him > THATS MEAN JERK
Me > No, that’s aggressive competitor management!
Me > Say it with me!
Me > Agggg
Him has left channel.

In other news, I plan to move into a C4 WH and school starts in a month. Best combination Evar.
Also, this “first kill of Eve career” puts my efficiency at..lessie…about 2 bil in losses, 10 mil in kills… 0.5%?

Wewt?

And, since it took me 20 thoraxes to get this kill (/facepalm), Half of the remaining thoraxes and gank fits go to whoever comments on this post first.


I fail at fail pvping

This time around I planned to actually participate in hulkageddon. So, about a week and a half ago I made two fresh alts, joined them to my main corp and started their skillplans, going for thermodynamics, drone interfacing and the support skills. Then bought 70 thoraxes in jita and 70 thorax fits in Dodixie (thanks missioners!). Three hours before hulkageddon 3 starts, I realize that hulkageddon is going to start in three hours when I thought it was about eight hours away. Unfortunatley, I’m in the middle of garden chores for my grandmother.

One hour, four holly bushes and three car chases later I was at home. I booted up my two laptops, plan in mind. The theory was, I’d appear in system in an orca and two pods, warp to a station. Fit two thoraxes using the station system, put the fitted thoraxes in the maint bay. Warp to a safe, drop combat probes over the belts, pin a hulk, board and warp the thoraxes as fast as possible, land, gank, victory.

I’ve had…difficulties.

So, once I get home, I check evemon on the two characters I’ve been training. One has finished everything but drones V, and the other has finished everything except for Engineering V. Oh, and Gallente frigate IV.

Oops >.>

So, I get one of my nullsec alts, skilled entirely for a logistics BS droneboat. I start him training med hybrid turret, install a JC in the nullsec station I’m sitting in and pod myself back to empire. One hurtle over.

Then it comes to the orca. For those who just downloaded capsuleer or have short term memory loss, my Orca violently exploded completely due to my own idiocy and half-asleepness. For those not in my corp, we have a t1 replacement policy. For those who aren’t a close personal friend of mine, I’m half British. Thus when my CEO contracted me a new Orca for free, I felt horrendously guilty. Not enough to not use the Orca in stupid/risky scenarios, but still, guilty. Anywho, I found the orca on my main account and contracted it to my orca pilot who was currently working as a BS logistics pilot in null. Orca pilot installs JC in null station, pods herself, back to empire. Update clone, accept orca contract…..

Orca 40j away?

Double check clone is updated, change clone location to a different station, self destruct my pod again……

2j away. Much better.

Jita 15j away? eeh.

Hulkageddon starts in 45 minutes? DAMNIT!

I immidiatley buy whatever meta inertial stabalizers are avaliable in station, slap em on and light a fire under my 30-second align time hull. Half an hour later, I arrive in jita and start fitting the orca for cargo and combat probes.

Hmm, combat probes require an expanded launcher.

Hmm, orca pilot can’t use an expanded……damnit!

Three hour train time.

Buy cargo expanders, slap em on. Buy three large cargohold optimizations, fit rigs, yes I’m sure I want to do this…

“you need astronautics rigging at at least 1 to fit this.”

“What?”

OK, 40 minute train time but that’s not too bad, only two less thoraxes. Start it training.

Alright, since I had all the fits I purchased ahead of time already set, I stuff the 70x fittings of thoraxes in the orca and manage to fit right thoraxes. Here’s the fit:

Best Ion blaster I have at the time x5 (couldn’t find 400 meta 4 blasters for cheap for some reason. Go figure)

Best cheap target painter
Best cheap warp disruptor
tech one sensor booster with scan resolution

Four gyrostabs magnetic field stabs and a reaction control.

hammerhead I x5.

Oh wait, one of the alts has drones IV. Damnit!

And the other one can’t overheat. FFS!

Neither can use sensor boosters as that was a last minute change advised by Python Cartel. Who are jerks.

One of the alts can’t use a disruptor. How’d that happen?

Anyway, I start the alts training on whatever I’ve forgotten and manage to undock in the Orca with two thoraxes following her, one with a web fitted. Fast warping yay!

Alright, let’s go to an ice belt. On the way there, I find a hulk. In a belt.

Warp thoraxes to belt.

Keep range at 50m.

Launch drones.

Overheat. Engage target GOGOGO!

Are you sure you want to do this YES I AM SURE PLEASE LET ME NAO

FIRE FIRE FIRE Jammed, scrammed, I pop. Hulk is alive at 33% shields. How’d that happen?

Undaunted, I warp the pods out with the Orca to a safe and start fitting a thorax on one of the alt.

Concord: ” I HATEZ U PREPAR 2 DIE”

Me: “lolwut?”

alt: “GYAH EJECT EJECT EJECT” *pop*

So, apparently there’s this global criminal countdown thing.

In an Orca and two pods, I go to an ice system, .7 system. Go to a planet, check that big red 15 minute timer. Gone. Wewt!

Fit a thorax, tab to the other alt. Grab a thorax out of the Orca with the other alt and…

Concord:” Oh Em Gee WE SHOOT U”

me: “wut?”

alt: *pop*

Apparently getting killed by concord resets the criminal thingy. Alrighty. Wait 15 minutes, refit, warp to belt to a previously BMed hulk.

Wewt, no shield boosters or hardeners running. Engage!

An Arazu jams me.

Pop.

Pop.

Concord begins to warp scramble hammerhead I!

Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop.

Alright, let’s find a .5 system.

I find a .5 system, load up the combat probes, scan and BAM got a hulk. Fleetwarp the thoraxes, land on hulk, drones, lock, engage.

*PoP* *Pop*

I forgot to overheat >.<

Fifteen minutes later, two more thoraxes, lose two more thoraxes but get him to 2/3rds structure. Out of thoraxes, back to Jita. I'll try again tonight.


I wish I was consistent too. CSM!

So, Mynxee and A-something have both posted their retrospective on the CSM meeting.

After having read both of them, it’s gratifying to see that the CSM we have elected perfectly portrays thousads of whiny forum goers in the important facets. More on that later.

Both of the CSM people seemed to say the same thing: CCP is working on Dust and Incarna right now and doesn’t have the time to fix your lowsec/poses/FW/nullsec/ectera.

I feel this makes sense. CCP’s been hyping dust/incarna for a good while now, and I think that by this point everyone inside and out of CCP just wants to get the fugger out the door and be done with it. While still making it excellent or passable, tho.

Looking at PI insofar, I’m worried Dust’s gonna flop. Insofar, the trailers have depicted huge battles controlled by space generals over planets for the glory of all yeah yeah blah blah blah. That works, by itself, assuming the space generals don’t have so many idiots hiring people so that the FPS players in general don’t completley ignore their generals in favor of murder, along with the two economies being a bitch to manage. On top of all that, here’s Dust’s main problem: Planets are big.

If someone were to magically come into my C1 WH and drop down a command center, there is no mechanic in place to stop him from doing so. I would completely be at his mercy in terms of wherever he wanted to do insofar of him…. making my planets look ugly, I guess. Again, I’m sure CCP will make planets more important eventually or just dedicate Dust to dealing with the the silly little highsec carebears fighting tiny little silly wars over dinky little planets with fewer base metals than an alkaline convention.

I’ve gone off track a little. In any case, on the CSM thing:
Mynxee seems to be a tad upset that CSM isn’t coming into CCP and saying “jump” and CCP isn’t jumping, citing they don’t get enough attention as stakeholders which apparently CCP has made them.

If a product has been working for, what, six years, do you think the average shareholder is going to tell the company how to run things? Being a shareholder doesn’t grant you magical CCP changing abilities, but it probably should allow you some more insight into CCP’s “what we’re working on now” shizzle. Which is what the CSM seems to have gotten in the form of new devblogs.

Working as intended \o/

For those who say being a stakeholder means having a say in the company, here’s a link to the wikipedia article.

My theory is really that CCP is a bit scared of change. If you were to walk up to, say, Coca Cola, and say that about a half pound of sugar in two liters of Mountain Dew is a bit much, they’d shove you out the door with nary a goodbye, assuming you could get in in the first place. I don’t think I need to remind you of new coke.

Oh, and on tyrannis 1.0.3 patch notes:

The Planetary Commodities cargo hold on the Primae couldn’t be loaded with Water or Oxygen. It can now.

How’d they figure that out, someone actually used that thing for PI?