1. You run away from car collisions so you don’t get podded.
2. You’ve submitted several charters to NASA setup a PoS on the moon but can’t get approval.
3. You try to use your Rorqual to compress music files.
4. You open a petition when you can’t find your other sock.
5. You see a flash in the corner of your eye every time someone walks into a room with you.
6. You refer to your pants as “cargohold”.
7. You often participate in seven conversations at once.
8. You steal someone’s pencil, put it on your desk, and punch them when they take it back, claiming they’ve stolen it from you.
9. You only respond to your in-game name.
10. You find yourself using “point”,”jam”, and “tackle” in your weekly football meet.
11. You lead excursions into hostile office space with interns scouting.
12. You know every possible fit for the Rifter but are often criticized for poor dress sense.
13. You’d wear high heels if it’d give you a DPS bonus.
14. You nano fit your car.
15. You once accidentally referred to a cop as a “gate camper” while recieving a speeding ticket.
16. You twitch whenever you hear the targeting sound.
17. You know your gang-mates more than your childhood friends.
18. Whenever there’s an awkward silence, your first thought is lag.
19. You have the conversion from UTC to your timezone memorized.
20. You’ve adjusted your internal clock so you sleep through downtime.
21. You prioritize your PoS’s reinforced timer over your 10th year anniversary dinner.
22. You’ve placed a picture of an overloaded MWD on your dashboard next to a button. The button does nothing, it’s just fun to push.
23. Your morning wake up alarm is the target locking loop.
24. You’ve wrapped Mountain Dew cans with quafe logos.
25. You keep five paper mache’ warrior IIs in your pocket at all times.
26. Local stores have banned you for grabbing shopping bags while yelling “FLIPPED”.
27. You threaten bullies with ganking and podding, no ransom.
28. You have an ingrained response to twitch whenever someone yells “hey bob!”
29. A house fire is lower priority than escaping a gatecamp to log safely.
30. You find yourself discussing college-level chemistry questions in one channel and trolling in the other.
31. You sing along to Eve music while commuting.
32. Your economics teacher keeps asking you if you’ve taken the class before.
33. You accidentally say 23/7 instead of 24/7.
34. You check your room for wormholes every day.
35. You know six Minmatar jokes but never tell them in public, because no-one but you laughs.
36. You prioritize roams over breakfast
37. You’ve learned more German over the summer than three semesters of college.
38. “The only good red is a dead red” mentality still applies to you.
39. You can manage a production chain from moon goo to falcon but can’t keep an organized closet.
40. You know everyone involved in the gallente-caldari war but confuse Robert Lee for King George.
41. When you FC office meetings, you think about podding bill from accounting.
42. You fear getting mugged less than your PoS running out of coolant.
43. You’ve stenciled a Dramiel to your crotch rocket.
44. You walk away from explosions, not because it looks cool, but to decrease your sig radius.
45. You ask morgue owners if they want to compare collections.
46. Your phone calls to spies in other alliances have put you on a FBI list.
47. You’ve replaced your target locking alarm clock with a hull damage sound alarm.
48. You think you can repair your car with nanite paste and duct tape.
49. Your wife sleeps through the alarm because she knows it’s only the PI timer.
50. The thorax->phallic comparison is no longer amusing to you.
51. No-one’s noticed that your spreadsheets in the office have no bearing to what your company is working on.
Thanks to everyone who helped, you know who you are.