You may play too much Eve if:

Finally finished!

1. You run away from car collisions so you don’t get podded.
2. You’ve submitted several charters to NASA setup a PoS on the moon but can’t get approval.
3. You try to use your Rorqual to compress music files.
4. You open a petition when you can’t find your other sock.
5. You see a flash in the corner of your eye every time someone walks into a room with you.
6. You refer to your pants as “cargohold”.
7. You often participate in seven conversations at once.
8. You steal someone’s pencil, put it on your desk, and punch them when they take it back, claiming they’ve stolen it from you.
9. You only respond to your in-game name.
10. You find yourself using “point”,”jam”, and “tackle” in your weekly football meet.
11. You lead excursions into hostile office space with interns scouting.
12. You know every possible fit for the Rifter but are often criticized for poor dress sense.
13. You’d wear high heels if it’d give you a DPS bonus.
14. You nano fit your car.
15. You once accidentally referred to a cop as a “gate camper” while recieving a speeding ticket.
16. You twitch whenever you hear the targeting sound.
17. You know your gang-mates more than your childhood friends.
18. Whenever there’s an awkward silence, your first thought is lag.
19. You have the conversion from UTC to your timezone memorized.
20. You’ve adjusted your internal clock so you sleep through downtime.
21. You prioritize your PoS’s reinforced timer over your 10th year anniversary dinner.
22. You’ve placed a picture of an overloaded MWD on your dashboard next to a button. The button does nothing, it’s just fun to push.
23. Your morning wake up alarm is the target locking loop.
24. You’ve wrapped Mountain Dew cans with quafe logos.
25. You keep five paper mache’ warrior IIs in your pocket at all times.
26. Local stores have banned you for grabbing shopping bags while yelling “FLIPPED”.
27. You threaten bullies with ganking and podding, no ransom.
28. You have an ingrained response to twitch whenever someone yells “hey bob!”
29. A house fire is lower priority than escaping a gatecamp to log safely.
30. You find yourself discussing college-level chemistry questions in one channel and trolling in the other.
31. You sing along to Eve music while commuting.
32. Your economics teacher keeps asking you if you’ve taken the class before.
33. You accidentally say 23/7 instead of 24/7.
34. You check your room for wormholes every day.
35. You know six Minmatar jokes but never tell them in public, because no-one but you laughs.
36. You prioritize roams over breakfast
37. You’ve learned more German over the summer than three semesters of college.
38. “The only good red is a dead red” mentality still applies to you.
39. You can manage a production chain from moon goo to falcon but can’t keep an organized closet.
40. You know everyone involved in the gallente-caldari war but confuse Robert Lee for King George.
41. When you FC office meetings, you think about podding bill from accounting.
42. You fear getting mugged less than your PoS running out of coolant.
43. You’ve stenciled a Dramiel to your crotch rocket.
44. You walk away from explosions, not because it looks cool, but to decrease your sig radius.
45. You ask morgue owners if they want to compare collections.
46. Your phone calls to spies in other alliances have put you on a FBI list.
47. You’ve replaced your target locking alarm clock with a hull damage sound alarm.
48. You think you can repair your car with nanite paste and duct tape.
49. Your wife sleeps through the alarm because she knows it’s only the PI timer.
50. The thorax->phallic comparison is no longer amusing to you.
51. No-one’s noticed that your spreadsheets in the office have no bearing to what your company is working on.

Thanks to everyone who helped, you know who you are.

24 Comments on “You may play too much Eve if:”

  1. […] 21, 2010 Number 51 pretty much sums it up for […]

  2. Gilbert Hamilton says:

    Nice! Number 51 is my workstation, pretty much. Also, most days, 41, too.

    Great job!

  3. Z1gy says:

    This is one of the most funniest joke I’ve ever read . Keep it up

  4. Z1gy says:

    Can I copy it for my facebook?

  5. Jokine says:

    Hardy har. I greatly enjoyed this list. That should probably be #52.

  6. […] No, not me. I wish I had that problem these days! But miningzen over at K162space has a great list titled “You may play too much Eve […]

  7. Greygal says:

    #52. You yell at your 3-year-old child, “Fail fit,” when they put their shoes on wrong.
    #53. You tell a new coworker to htfu.

    Will not admit how much of this list I resemble…

  8. Rixx Javix says:

    Awesome! Good grief I laughed so hard wet stuff leaked from my eyes… it was kinda scary.

  9. pjharvey says:

    You align to fire exits, in case of an emergency.

  10. Chebri says:

    Miningzen, I love to read your blog! Funny as hell! Great list. I’ll be quoting you frequently methinks.

    Fly safe and have fun. o7

  11. Random guy says:

    Hahahaha absolutely beautiful. I think I might actually change my alarm to the hull damage notification cause that sure as hell will get me up better than my current alarm 😛

  12. Latrodanes says:

    Awesome list. One more:

    You see a traffic jam up ahead while driving and your first thought is, “Jita!!”

  13. weaselfeet says:

    #51 … Oh yes .. Spread across two monitors, subtle colour fills highlighting trade options and production bottlenecks.

  14. Random guy says:

    Oh thought of one: You ask your buddy who’s goin to the bar if he’s solo roaming or if you can join him.

  15. […] much Eve if: Categories: random | 0 comments Firstly let me say the source of this list is from K162space, its comedy on so many […]

  16. Klann says:

    haavoc… the target locking and the hull warning sounds….you must give them to me.

  17. Malkev says:

    52. You attempt to keep your transversal up in an actual gunfight.

  18. Lekore says:

    :O You copied my idea!:


    Ok, so it’s not exactly a very original idea, you probably never even heard of my blog before, yours is better, bigger (!) and much funnier, and this is a pretty shameless plug, but hey!


    I’m especially guilty of #51. 23/47 is actually an awsome idea, like Random Guy sai, it would def get me up in the morning! (Think the wormhole activation sound would wrok better actually, that always scares the **** out of me!)

    • miningzen says:

      ahh yes, those damn Eve/acid trip dreams…

      My personal least favorite where warping around a WH system in a myrmidon degraded into some sort of sims online nightmare. There may or may not have been a night elf involved.

  19. sherifffruitfly says:

    pro list is pro.

  20. KoffeeKup says:

    I’m ashamed to admit this happened to me… I had played eve so much I jumped out of my sleep when my younger brother left the house cause I thought he had just jumped into low sec space and might be gate camped.

    Same day I jolted up from a nap thinking I better be careful because I might be suicide ganked….

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