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meme: statistics (hehehe)

So, apparently there’s a bit of a meme going around where everyone waves their battleclinics around about how good they are and efficient and all that good stuff. I’d like to issue a challenge to do WORSE than me. No isk reward, you just get to show everyone how horrible you are:

Keep in mind that the two kills I’ve made are a myrm and shuttle, both of who were corpmates at the time that I accidentally either attacked with drones while assigning RR or was shooting at for giggles.

So, standing at a proud 0% efficiency (I like to keep it above -1%), here’s some of the noticeable kills. In chronological order.
2008.07.13 02:31:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Center for Advanced Studies
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Exequror
System: Indregulle
Security: 0.2
Damage Taken: 10311

Involved parties:

Name: Serpentis Patroller / Serpentis Corporation (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 10311

Dropped items:

Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 3
Vivid Hemorphite, Qty: 97 (Cargo)
EP-S Gaussian I Excavation Pulse, Qty: 3
Civilian Shield Booster I, Qty: 2
Medium Standard Container (Cargo)
Vivid Hemorphite, Qty: 130 (In Container)
Small Standard Container (Cargo)
Vivid Hemorphite, Qty: 40 (In Container)

My first loss eva, over two years ago. Did you know that rats sometimes fit warp scramblers? I didn’t.

haav -> guys, I’m scrambled in lowsec
corp -> we’d help, but you’ll be dead by the time we get there
haav -> no, it’s not a pirate.
haav -> it’s a rat.
haav -> he’s scrambled me
corp -> lolwut?

2008.07.17 00:57:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Center for Advanced Studies
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Exequror
System: Mesybier
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 3603

Involved parties:

Name: Serpentis Patroller / Serpentis Corporation (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 3603

Fell asleep.

2008.07.18 15:48:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Center for Advanced Studies
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Iteron Mark II
System: Pelille
Security: 0.2
Damage Taken: 1602

Involved parties:

Name: Osmodious (laid the final blow)
Security: 0.5
Corp: System-Lords
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Typhoon
Weapon: Paradise Cruise Missile
Damage Done: 1602

found the cheapest iteron mark 2 in the region, bought it, undocked, and got reminded where I was by a few cruise missiles >.>

2009.09.06 23:09:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: WYF8-8
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 6810

Involved parties:

Name: Bane Torpedo / Archangels (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 6810

Ahyup. Went to nullsec, turned the tank on, tanked a spawn, went to check on the grill, more rats warp in, I come back and see a pod >.>

2009.09.10 06:33:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: Scheenins
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 6565

Involved parties:

Name: Serpentis Guard / Serpentis Corporation (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 6565

Fell asleep while mining <.<

2009.09.24 02:20:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: J114443
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 5115

Involved parties:

Name: Dezzidor (laid the final blow)
Security: 5.0
Corp: Hunters Clan
Alliance: Noob Fleet
Faction: NONE
Ship: Wolf
Weapon: Domination 200mm Autocannon
Damage Done: 5115

Damn wolf BMed the grav and worked his way past my tank alarmingly quickly <..>

2009.11.26 05:27:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Buzzard
System: J161301
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 1395

Involved parties:

Name: Astraeaa (laid the final blow)
Security: -0.9
Corp: Optimus Crime.
Alliance: Triumvirate.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Helios
Weapon: Hobgoblin II
Damage Done: 1395

Name: Major Shake
Security: -0.6
Corp: The Scope
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Helios
Weapon: Tracking Disruptor II
Damage Done: 0

Nerf helios..es? heliosi? helios? One of those.

2010.01.21 04:39:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Occator
System: Crielere
Security: 0.4
Damage Taken: 8999

Involved parties:

Name: Monarch (laid the final blow)
Security: -9.1
Corp: the united
Alliance: Negative Ten.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Maelstrom
Weapon: 800mm Repeating Artillery II
Damage Done: 4904

Name: wicker man
Security: -10.0
Corp: the united
Alliance: Negative Ten.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Absolution
Weapon: Absolution
Damage Done: 3063

Name: Crashm8
Security: -10.0
Corp: the united
Alliance: Negative Ten.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Onyx
Weapon: Caldari Navy Havoc Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1032

The last time I tank a hauler instead of cargo or agility.

2010.04.01 22:38:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Dark Shadow Industries
Alliance: Rogue Elements.
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Buzzard
System: Jita
Security: 0.9
Damage Taken: 199

Involved parties:

Name: Officer Sugarboots (laid the final blow)
Security: -10.0
Corp: Jita Traffic Control
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Raven
Weapon: Large ‘Notos’ Explosive Charge I
Damage Done: 199

I hate highsec.

2010.05.01 14:52:00

Victim: herleena muran
Corp: Dark Shadow Industries
Alliance: Rogue Elements.
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Orca
System: X5-0EM
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 42933

Involved parties:

Name: Duncan MacGregor
Security: 0.6
Corp: Iridium Inc.
Alliance: Shadow of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Zealot
Weapon: Zealot
Damage Done: 9730

Name: karagahaga
Security: -0.5
Corp: The Shadow Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Cynabal
Weapon: Warrior II
Damage Done: 8048

Name: Yakudze
Security: 4.9
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Hurricane
Weapon: Hurricane
Damage Done: 7971

Name: 70x93n
Security: 2.8
Corp: The xDEATHx Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Sabre
Weapon: Sabre
Damage Done: 7505

Name: Atrosha
Security: 3.8
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Harpy
Weapon: Harpy
Damage Done: 3940

Name: Kanitel
Security: 2.5
Corp: The xDEATHx Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Flycatcher
Weapon: Thorn Rocket
Damage Done: 3041

Name: argon praim
Security: 4.4
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Scimitar
Weapon: Hobgoblin II
Damage Done: 1535

Name: YemodYar (laid the final blow)
Security: -0.7
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Falcon
Weapon: 250mm Prototype I Gauss Gun
Damage Done: 769

Name: Bromista
Security: -1.0
Corp: The Shadow Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Stiletto
Weapon: Stiletto
Damage Done: 347

Name: Henge DeMonar
Security: 4.4
Corp: The Shadow Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Basilisk
Weapon: Basilisk
Damage Done: 47

Name: Nemizzida
Security: -1.4
Corp: Iridium Inc.
Alliance: Shadow of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Loki
Weapon: Republic Fleet Warp Disruptor
Damage Done: 0

Note to self: stop playing Eve when half asleep.

Total losses:
Capsule 14
Retriever 1
Vexor 8
Iteron mark II 1
Iteron mark III 1
Iteron mark IV 3
Iteron mark V 8
Ibis 1
probe 1
Dominix 4
Slasher 1
Exequeror 4
newbship 2
Covetor 2
Hulk 4
Bantam 1
Vigil 1
shuttles 5
Buzzard 4
Badger 1
Occator 1
Catalyst 2

So, 0 isk in kills, about 1.3 bil in losses. Top that!

And as a bonus argument: Does this make me a carebear?

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POS Defense in Wormholes C1-6

Not so recently, CCRES came into our wormhole, noticed an orca floating in the shields, killed all our defences and reinforced our tower in case we had forgotten to put strontium in a tower in a dread-accepting enviroment.

The fact that they felt that the lack of strontium was a possibility makes me lose a little faith in the foresight of the Eve wormhole community.

Recently, I was contacted by a CCRES member who told me that they put the PoS into reinforced mostly for fun. Acting on various word cues in his description, I managed to decypher THIS message:

“Our reason was far grander than a petty Orca and what we had in the corp hangar, for the legendary tales of your pvp prowess and twisted cunning in use of cloaky ships was so utterly terrifying that we could not just close the connecting WH but attacked your tower in hopes that having their ships destroyed by your considerable defenses, THEN closing the connecting WH with what few ships remained would be the only way to appease your unquantifiable wrath. Unfortunately, the tower’s defenses had been mostly offlined and unanchored into the corp hangar due to a spy, who after his two year infiltration campaign only now had the courage to act on his orders to mildly inconvenience you, then immediately killed himself out of fear and shame. We were thus forced to put the inconvenienced tower into full reinforced, to better reflect it’s former armed glory until a point in the future where you could reanchor your powerful and majestic defenses.”

Anyway, we had the full compliment so they settled for sending us a mail essentially saying:
“Hey, we put your pos in reinforced looking for free ships, you should probably try this configuration next time”
(For those interested they recommended dickstar)

After the reinforced timer ended we repped the PoS in a rorqual, orca and a few BSs which got MUCH faster once we realized the ending of reinforced meant that we could access the cap rechargers, power relays and energy xfer arrays in the corp hangar.

Anyway, this shite got me thinking. Wormhole territory is fast becoming a shifting battlefield. PoS takedowns, once the product of Amarr BS fleets that passed out at their keyboards firing at abandoned structures, are becoming more frequent and frankly, kinda alarming. Between a friend of mine getting attacked by two dreads w/ BS support fleet, Planet Risk owning then being owned by R&K, and CCRES’s “Stront check” of our PoS, I’d like to give an overview of PoS defense in a wormhole:

You’re screwed.

Here’s a little more detailed and less cynical view:

C1:
Size restrictions allow only battlecruiser hulls or smaller, but know that haulers, which can hold cap parts, large towers, fuel, x-large ship assembly arrays and everything else required to build a dread to kill your PoSes, can.
Recommended defenses:
Small guns, some medium guns anchored but not online. BC hulls or smaller usually means your only attackers will have poor dps, so hardeners are recommended. By the time they’ve built a dread you should already be gone >.>

C2-C3
Battleships are allowed in here, good for sites, bad when someone hates you, has a route to you and has a BS fleet handy can be a significant threat to your well-being. Build a carrier and rent/own/know someone who has a carrier pilot handy to scare off/murder/ambush attackers.
C4-C6
Carriers are “allowed” to jump in here, hence you should be prepared. Don’t ask me how, we still haven’t come up with a a counter to a carrier/dread with support fleet.

Essentially, the deeper you go, the more likley you are to be screwed, because the less time attackers have to invest in beating you into the ground. A battlecruiser takedown of a PoS is torture, a BS takedown isn’t much fun, and a dread-assisted takedown is about less than an hour, so an attacker’s time invested in making your life a living hell is much less than what it took for you to get two capitals, orcas, and the other thirty ships you’ve amassed over several months into the wormhole.

Point is, if someone wants you out of a specific hole, they can motivate you to get out. If you fit guns, they’ll wait for your offtime and have RR gangs. If you fit ECM, they’ll bring a dread and sensor boosters. If you go full hardeners, they’ll bring a dread again. If you find the most amazing awesome pos configuration ever, they’ll just starve you of fuel. They can activate all your sites with a scan ship every morning, camp your static, build a dread, any number of things in mind to make you think “boy, I wish they weren’t here or I wasn’t here”. The best defence, IMO, is two fold:

The first and more reasonable method is to have several friends and/or piles of isk to hire several friends. Eve is a spreadsheet game, but is refreshingly simple in combat calculations, which usually amount to “Whoever has the most experienced friends wins”.

The method that, us lacking large groups of friends and a general sense of comradery, is to be ready to be gone. Write the PoS off as already dead, and have the expensive gear in capital ships/industrials. When, not if, WHEN you get attacked by a superior force move to a deep safe you’ve created before deep safes were nerfed(before May 18), and/or make a safe in system and logoff in it. Then, scan your static, which, since you’ve been preparing for this exact situation for a while, goes to a C4 or higher WH and will close exactly after you pass your entire operation through it, once it’s been shoved into cap ships/orcas. If said static has a static C4 or higher, move in, setup the backup pos and either rebuild there or go through the next static.

The third method, that dedicated people of eve will probably do, and do better than me, is to want the hole more. Have an Orca/carrier cloak in system w/ lots of SB hulls, scan ships hulls, and fits. Get 5-10 people in. Proceed to activate every site after downtime, bomb the static periodically and generally make whoever tried to take your hole/lives in the hole you want wish they’d never heard of a local-lacking environment. Take 200 combat scan probes, launch seven, cloak. Repeat every 2 hours or so. Eventually, they will leave. Wait a week. If they come back, do it all again, if they don’t, setup a small pos and put a maint array/hangar in it. Have one big ship and one small ship for each pilot. Pilots logoff in big ships w/ scan ships/SBs in orca and CHEAP haulers/other ships in the small tower’s maint array. Don’t bother putting anything in the small tower’s corp hangar, as anyone who finds it will try to put it into reinforced, making removal of the stuff difficult. Don’t worry about defenses, again, if someone wants the tower dead, it’s dead. Make sure to have stront, and if the dudes come back lookin for trouble, unanchor the pos (using a cheap hauler w/ SB support), stuff it in the Orca and go back to step one. Repeat as necessary until they stop coming back and you feel safe enough to anchor a large pos and/or keep living out of orcas/capitals. Use any spare orcas/carriers to collapse the static at inoppertune times, and restock your equipment (using cheap haulers) at 5 am their time and/or downtime. Bubble the static and cloak SBs nearby.

People attack your wormhole because they’ve either been hired to do it, they want your sites, or they’re just bored. The bored will leave, the hired will eventually stop working for the hirer, and the people that want your sites won’t get your sites because you activated all the sites every downtime. An Orca, a few scan ships and SBs w/ fits is not expensive at all compared to WH sites, so you can make their lives irritating w/ very little expense on your end. The person who wins will eventually either be the person/people who get bored first. Or, someone runs out of money. Who’s gonna run out of money first, the people w/ covops cloaks or the people who can’t cloak while they fight sleepers or mine?


They don’t make em like they used to.

Sometimes, you go into a situation and you know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t let the fact that I myself have never found myself in that scenario from the offset deter you, you’ll eventually find yourself warping into a fleet fight knowing exactly who to primary, why to do it and which board game to pull out once the lag hits.

More often, tho, you’ll enter a scenario that you honestly have no idea how to operate in. This will usually be made painfully obvious when someone who DOES know EXACTLY what the hell they’re doing comes along and tears you to pieces, possibly throwing a free trip back to empire in the process. Smart people learn from this process. Idiots complain.

I’d like to talk about one certain idiot given his explosive comupperance, and for the first time on this blog, it isn’t me. Also for the first time, I wasn’t involved at all except for offering assistance and cheering from the sidelines.

So, yesterday, it’s a typical day in my life:
Channel Name: WSpace Colonists
Listener: Indiego Montoya
Indiego Montoya > burnin fast, burin last, on the long distant road, through the lost mountians endless so far away from hooooooome
Indiego Montoya > de dedede dede dee de de do do do de de de do dedede de do
Indiego Montoya > dee de de de dede dee dee de do do do de dedede dede dededede doooo

When suddenly my perfect rendition of Dragonforce is interrupted by people wanting to talk.

[ 2010.03.01 15:11:53 ] Damark > haav i have serious business
[ 2010.03.01 15:11:59 ] Damark > stop muddying up the channel
[ 2010.03.01 15:12:02 ] Indiego Montoya > omg wai so srs.
[ 2010.03.01 15:12:15 ] Indiego Montoya > wht is ur srz bzns?
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:40 ] Damark > it actually is srs
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:43 ] Damark > so thats not funny
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:48 ] Damark > srs alliance
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:49 ] Indiego Montoya > well, crap on a stick.
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:56 ] Indiego Montoya > that’s not good.

Yes, apparently a serious-sounding alliance had found Damark, a dude who lives in a C3 w/ static highsec and laughs at most of my jokes. Damark came online to his corp’s small tower in reinforced, his true sansha large and other large untouched, and a caldari large not owned by him online in his system, owned by SRS business, some sort of alliance none of us had ever heard of, because we stopped caring about normal space a few months after each of us got into a WH. As per the non-agression pact we have, me and several other corps started informing corp mates, pressing Damark for info and offering ships, isk to hire Noir and gun modules.

It was at about this point that Damark announced that the dude operating the pos had anchored moon mining arrays.

He anchored moon mining arrays.

Moon mining arrays. In a area of space where, to keep nullsec alliances from gaining intrest and other stupid reasons, moon mining is impossible. This was, we had thought, fairly common knowledge. It gets better.

With that one statement, most of us went from talking to merc corps, panicky trying to get Noir(for all your overwhelming force needs!) on the horn, friends in high paces, friends in null places about any assistance they could offer to informing their friends that the dude had just anchored moon mining arrays and having a good laugh.

The dude then anchored cruise missile batteries.

The laughter continued. For the uninformed, cruise missile batteries provide dps on about cruiser level, are the only gun to stop firing once the pos goes into reinforced and can be speed tanked extremely effectively.

He then anchored hardeners, one of each, the first REASONABLE move to make all morning. Damark started checking the fitting on one of his BSs, an armageddon. After a few minutes, where the BS was clearly visible on the directional scanner, he offlines an EM hardener and onlines a second kinetic hardener. This sounds reasonable, until you know that towers have an inherent 25% resist to kinetic, and amarr ships deal EM/thermal.

At this point, we’ve stopped laughing and assume that there’s trickery afoot. No one could be this stupid. At some point, the follwing conversation takes place:
[ 2010.03.01 14:50:18 ] Corpmate > yea youre in my hole
[ 2010.03.01 14:53:39 ] Cpt Kabaal > it could be a good thing if ya were so hostile about it, i mean we are moving in, thats a fact, now we can work things out instead of the alternative
[ 2010.03.01 14:54:20 ] Bizmarcks > or we can destroy your pos and kick you out
[ 2010.03.01 14:54:57 ] Corpmate > yea thats a good alternative
[ 2010.03.01 14:55:16 ] Cpt Kabaal > Its your Choice lol
[ 2010.03.01 16:47:12 ] Bizmarcks > did you finally realise you cant moon mine in here ?
[ 2010.03.01 16:47:15 ] Bizmarcks > this aint null boy

Prompting more laughter, as the one thing WHers can’t stand, besides russians(most of them, can’t speak for everyone) is idiots. But the one thing above that, that will enrage a WH dweller to the point of scorched earth strategy, is when someone starts acting smug and claiming your home as his own.

The second reason that we apologized to our individual friends and that there wasn’t any threat that needed dealing with is that Damark is one of those peculiar paranoid people(90% of eve) that builds carriers in places that mass limitations on WHs forbid carriers from entering.

Thus, with advice from CCRES(thanks guys, you still scare the hell outta us) and SI radio, a Minmatar carrier and five BSs put all the guns into incapacitated, removing the laughable cruiser-sized dps, prompting this convo:

[ 2010.03.02 06:16:25 ] Cpt Kabaal > i sry my ceo hired the mercs to rape you
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:44 ] Damark > lol those were mercs?
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:48 ] Damark > i hope you didnt pay too much
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:59 ] Cpt Kabaal > didnt pay at all actually
[ 2010.03.02 06:18:07 ] Damark > well thanks for explaining this incredibly too easy to explain coincidence
[ 2010.03.02 06:19:34 ] Cpt Kabaal > its not over rest asured

See previous comments about smug idiots.

More bashing. Damark gets convo’ed by the alliance leader.

[ 2010.03.02 03:58:18 ] thebarry > so i’m carebearing in high sec, right?
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:36 ] Damark > and you start getting messages
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:40 ] Damark > saying a POS is under attack?
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:43 ] thebarry > and one of my alliance mates convos me like ‘um, i have a prob, my pos is being attacked’
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:48 ] thebarry > yes!
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:54 ] Damark > yea funny story
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:02 ] Damark > he moved into my hole
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:10 ] thebarry > and now i’ve discovered that the reason you are so motivated
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:13 ] thebarry > is that
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:14 ] thebarry > yes
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:18 ] thebarry > he is in your wh
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:23 ] Damark > yes he sure is
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:26 ] Damark > not for much longer tho

The CEO offers to remove the dude, and Damark requests 400 mil to let him leave peacefully, fully intending to steal the tower. SRS makes the first smart move all day and respectfully declined. Then make another stupid move.

[ 2010.03.02 04:02:46 ] thebarry > i’m sorry it took so long for me to realise it was your wh
[ 2010.03.02 04:02:48 ] thebarry > btw
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:02 ] thebarry > are you guyz interested in joining a new alliance?
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:08 ] thebarry > we could always use mroe help
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:14 ] thebarry > more too
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:57 ] Damark > not as of yet

What the hell are they smoking and can I have some?

An agreement is made and instantly collapses.

[ 2010.03.02 04:11:47 ] thebarry > ok buddy is going to get back to pos to start offlining and unachoring stuff
[ 2010.03.02 04:11:49 ] thebarry > plz dun shoot
[ 2010.03.02 04:12:01 ] Damark > if i have 400mil in my wallet in the next 27min i wont
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:10 ] thebarry > there will be no isk payments, sorry
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:28 ] thebarry > it’s not my pos, and tbh it would teach a valuable lesson
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:47 ] thebarry > i may be tempted to run a viator’s worth of stront to it, tho
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:57 ] thebarry > …just saying
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:12 ] Damark > lol so your saying it has no stront now?
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:14 ] Damark > ahahah
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:22 ] Damark > you shouldnt give this guy anchoring writes
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:50 ] thebarry > hahaha

For the record, it had one hour of strontium.

[ 2010.03.02 04:35:46 ] thebarry > man wtf are you having so many probs with that wh
[ 2010.03.02 04:35:49 ] thebarry > for?
[ 2010.03.02 04:35:54 ] Damark > it was just yesterday
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:01 ] Damark > otehr than yesterday and today its be awesome
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:02 ] Damark > lol
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:09 ] thebarry > haha
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:20 ] thebarry > well, sounds like you could use some alliance buddies to help
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:42 ] Damark > nah
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:53 ] thebarry > just htink, if you were in a alliance you wouldnt have lost the small pos!

You think I’m kidding? Whatever they’re smoking. I wanna have no intelligence whatsoever for the next few hours.

The alliance lead pulls the dude into the private chat.
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:07 ] thebarry > i think his ceo is still in the wh
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:09 ] thebarry > with ships
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:12 ] thebarry > or something
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:22 ] thebarry > he said he apologized to you
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:35 ] Damark > yea and then treatened me
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:39 ] thebarry > this is way too much dramarama for me
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:42 ] Damark > no shit
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:48 ] thebarry > i need to get back to spreadsheets
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:52 ] thebarry > don’t you understand?
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:00 ] Damark > yea man
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:09 ] Damark > and we need to get back to reacting sleeper shit
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:19 ] Damark > and captain needs to get back to moon goo in wh’s
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:26 ] Cpt Kabaal > sry bro
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:40 ] Cpt Kabaal > was just trying to mind my own buissness
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:48 ] Damark > by shitting on my lawn?
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:55 ] thebarry > hahaha
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:59 ] Damark > you dont anchor a pos in an occupied wh
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:02 ] thebarry > GET OFF HIS LAWN PLZ
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:05 ] Damark > unless you are looking for a fight
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:09 ] Damark > we brought one
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:14 ] Damark > and you cried to your alliance head
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:18 ] Damark > deal with it and gtfo

The CEO apologizes for blowing up the small tower, and offers another incentive to join his alliance.

[ 2010.03.02 06:39:21 ] thebarry > what did you lose?
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:25 ] Damark > every amar cruiser bpo and a majority of mislse bpos
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:43 ] Damark > i dunno tbh
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:47 ] Damark > it was a corpies project
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:50 ] Damark > hes rather angry
[ 2010.03.02 06:41:14 ] thebarry > i can imagine
[ 2010.03.02 06:41:23 ] thebarry > listen, we have research pos available

Is this standard alliance policy? Try to beat the crap out of someone, fail, and try to invite them into your alliance?

More threatening…

[ 2010.03.02 07:09:10 ] thebarry > haha
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:19 ] thebarry > i’m trying to save you damark
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:27 ] thebarry > i liek you
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:27 ] Damark > save me from what?
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:31 ] thebarry > you’re funny
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:39 ] thebarry > from nasty ppl
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:40 ] Damark > Noir is the best merc corp in the game
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:44 ] thebarry > i know
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:54 ] Damark > and i have a shit tonne of isk to throw
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:55 ] thebarry > but they arent the only one, just trust me
[ 2010.03.02 07:10:00 ] thebarry > i like you, trying to help

For the record, the two large poses were anchored less than five AU from where he put up his moon mining caldari large.

Damark and his corpies bash the heck outta the large tower, using

1 x Minmitar carrier (cant recall the name)
2x geddon
2x typhoon
1x raven
1x rohk
1x hurricane

Ten boring hours later, it explodes, Rigby Jess and Daedalic omitted cause they passed out a few hours earlier.
http://twinparadox.eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=5957462

tldr, carrier n friends stomp a WH pos into the ground after failed takeover.


omgwtfsplosion

Recently, a friend of mine linked a chatlog. Apparently, someone had bought a Rorqual without realizing that, being a capital ship, it could not use gates. Subsequently, he lost it on a gate. In the chatlog, he essentially explodes. With rage and idiocy.

Before that, another friend, through a series of coincidences, had all his chars outside his WH when the server crashed. When the server came back up, the WH connecting him to his 3-4 bil in assets was gone, with no way to get back in.

I’ll go ahead and let you imagine his reaction. Short story, a GM let him back in.

As I’ve heard before, Eve is a game of tens. You start out in a rookie ship and 100k isk sounds like shitloads. You get a frig and 10 mil sounds like shitloads. You get a cruiser and 100 mil sounds like shitloads. you get a BS and a bill is a shitloads. You get a carrier and usually by that point you think 500 mil is being poor.

With insurance the way it is, losing a ship isn’t much, and you can usually bounce back with the money. A personal nightmare of mine used to be losing all of my assets at once and finding myself back in a rookie ship with an empty wallet. My personal Eve nightmare has now changed to all of my friends stopping playing and possibly losing everything. And/or getting blamed for a giant corp theft or something.

In any case, if I did find myself in a frigate mining again, I still wouldn’t explode. I have friends now, friends that loaned me startup capital in a heartbeat, so even if I do find myself in a fucking navitas mining fifteen units of veldspar every fucking 60 fucking seconds until I want to hang myself…
Where was I going?

Anyway, in our WH, when we have to close a wormhole, we usually jump a bunch of medium and small sized ships through, jump the Rorq through, move the ships back through and then the Rorq, which so far has only failed few times, but we fixed that. Anyway, this scenario leave us in the situation of having a 1.7 bil ship, alone, on one side of a wormhole that usually, if we’re trying to close it, has several people on the other side that want to kill us.

I can’t accurately portray that risk, so let’s basically call it the equivalent of sticking your todger into a women’s bathroom at the annual switchblade owner convention.

Anyway, I’ve had losses before and they really didn’t bother me. When I lost the large tower to a highsec gank after getting it safely out of a C6, I made a witty comment in local and left. I lost a friend’s domi to a blob, I wished them a nice day. I would go on, but I’d like to hear your stories. What’s the worst loss you’ve had, and have you ever exploded like this idiot?


Irony, my old jackass of a friend

Let me rephrase that:
Irony, you jackass son of a cross-eyed whore. And screw you too, Murphy.

Remember how I’ve been whining about losing a PoS in a C6 for the last few weeks? Last night, I get this:
.

I logon, and someone by the name of Henner Borgenson has apparently found the PoS and contracted the BMs to Blake, who contracts them to me. We get in our scan alts, burn a way out through four systems in under an hour, and I head back to the PoS to get my Viator, my ship of choice for hostile environments.

Unfortunately, my Viator, rigged as it was, holds 7.5k m3. A large pos, packaged, is 8k m3. So, I take the only available hauler that can hold 8k m3, a trusty Iteron V that someone fit low-friction nozzles to for some reason. I put two stabs, two nanos and an expanded cargohold in the lows and a protocloak in the high, rounding it off with as many shield extenders as I can fit in the midslots and an invul field to cover it. I head out to highsec, and fly to where the BMs are, pick em up, and fly through WH space to a C6, which, lo and behold, has the PoS. I start to unanchor, warp out, warp to 100km, and cloak, setting an orbit of 160km. 55 minutes later, my hauler has made it to warp-to range of the PoS and it’s about to unanchor. I warp to it, scoop it and burn like hell out through the C6 and connecting C2, making it to highsec. Exuberant, I log onto an alt and start clearing anomalies in my C1 while warping the hauler. Half an hour later, I tab into the hauler and notice someone firing at me with cruise missiles. Five seconds later, I’m warping in a pod to the nearest station, buying an itty V and a cargo expander, clinging to the brief hope that the gank was a solo one and the dude is docking to get his own hauler. Shit don’t happen, I arrive at the scene and find my wreck completely looted, along with three battlecruiser wrecks.
It could be the fact that it’s currently 2:30 in the morning, but I really didn’t feel too bothered by this. I guess that I’d already written the tower off as a loss and was treating it as a bonus.
Anyway, I am now, hypothetically, 360 mil poorer than I was a few hours ago, not including the under 5 mil hauler. I WAS going to give Henner Borgenson a letter praising the skies and all the heavens for this glorious day, but he’ll have to settle for a “thanks for thinking of me” note. And some iskies once I manage to get a third and fourth tower running >.>

If anyone asks, I made 20 mil off the sleeper sites as I was ganked for 360 mil.

So, the end result from this is moving “normal space” up to number three on my “list of things to loathe”, finally overtaking “Idiots in expensive ships” but still behind “well-organized gatecamps” and “Pomeranians”

Next time, I’m employing red frog industries for my hauling needs…Curse my impatient self!


Wormholes: how not to die

1. There is no way not to die. You are going to die.
2. Possibly quickly.
3. Protect yourself from financial ruin by buying and hiding in a PoS
4. Protect your PoS from ruin by having stront and 2-3 weeks of fuel, at least, at all times.
5. Never enter an outgoing or incoming WH without either a fully insured unfitted ship and an alternate route back in, or a scan probe launcher and a shitload of patience.
6. Did I mention you are going to die?
7. The directional is your friend. But it’s a shitty friend. It’s a way around getting ganked so the gankers have ways around it. Expect to die.
8. If you find yourself outside your PoS for any reason, be aligned to a planet.
9. Don’t forget to cloak when scanning.
10. There are people who get their giggles by killing people like you. They are, statistically, much better at killing you than you are at not being killed.
11. Never leave your PoS without some method of getting back to it from highsec. This usually means having a scan alt logged off in system or in the PoS.
12. If you don’t have a scan alt, you may as well kiss your assets goodbye and start waiting for PoS fuel notifications as your base dies cold and alone because you got podded and didn’t have a damn scan alt.
13. Any WH connecting you to somewhere else is a potential threat. Be aware of incoming WHs, because someone opened that door straight to you and you better believe that they’re gonna use it.
14. If you see a ship you don’t recognize on the scanner, run. And possibly alert anyone you happen to be with.
15. If your corp mates say run, run.
16. If your corp mates start shouting, run.
17. if your corp mate types a sentence fragment, spelled poorly, consisting of any two of the following words, run.
“Sisters””fuck””combat probes””probes””directional””crap””dead””podded””run””any ship name you or he is not currently flying””back to pos””damnit””ANYTHING in capslock””gibberish”
18. Pick some symbol on your keyboard, like # or %. Rename all the ships at your pos with that symbol. If you see a ship without that symbol, run. Warning, easily countered.
19. NEVER assume that the designated Dir scanner dude is scanning. If he has a heart attack or takes a piss, you’re fucked and he could just say they had good scan ships.
20. Did I mention you’re going to die?
21. Getting whatever you came for safely inside the PoS does not mean it’s safe. Get it to Jita first, then call it safe.
22. Anchor your hangar and maintenance array next to each other. Bookmark one of them and call it “PoS” warp to it in case of speedy ship swap.
23. Heavy interdictors are small ships that mean you can’t run away, and by the time you see one on the scanner, you’re already fucked.
24. DO NOT BRING A T2 RIGGED FACTION FIT HULK INTO A WH, YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT IF YOU DO SO.(Yes, this has happened. Lost it in under 3 hours. No, it wasn’t me.)
24b. Hell, don’t bring ANYTHING faction fit or t2 rigged unless a) you’re rich enough to buy two more of em or b) you don’t believe in Murphy’s Law.
25. Do not rig your hulk with drone mining augmenters or cargo expander. Use low-friction nozzles, they decrease align time and have saved my ass when there was literally a second difference between getting scrammed by a Loki and getting away.
26. Active tank for sleepers, buffer fit for PvP, mix of both if the site isn’t too hard for gank insurance.
27. If you are attacked during a sleeper run, target the ship and try and scram him. If you didn’t bring scrams to a sleeper fight(understandable) shoot him. The sleepers will eventually switch to him.
28. If a corp mate types”Hey, is that your ____” start aligning and getting up to speed with the nearest celestial until clarification is obtained.
29. If you see a scan ship on the directional, scan again and it’s not there, do not assume that he has left, or so help me I will tear a hole from my WH to yours through sheer rage and beat you over the head with a cloaking device.
30. If you live in a class 5 wormhole, remember iambeastx has a static class 5 entrance and will find you…. eventually. Assuming he figures out how to work a scan ship.
31. If you came into the WH to fight, there are people in here already that fight better than you. If you came here to mine, watch out for the first two groups.
32. Some people will build carriers and rorquals in places that mass limitations would not usually allow them. If a carrier drops on you in a C3, don’t be surprised.
33. Carriers can get into C4s, but not easily and only from a nullsec or incoming link from a C5 or C6. Don’t be too worried.
34. When in a C5 or C6, be worried about carriers. One carrier can shut down an entire mining op until they get bored, and a carrier w/ support fleet can screw over anything else. Except…another carrier with support fleet. Have fun.
35. If your PoS has no guns, jerks will shoot it. If your PoS has guns, they will send interceptors to extinguish your ammo. If you employ webbers, they will warp out and rep. If you employ warp scrammers, they will spider tank. The goal of a WH pos is not to destroy but to annoy the fuck out of. If they have a small force, then they’re not a problem for a PoS. If they have a large force, then they’re not gonna be bothered by a few turrets. Employ shield hardeners, SB ops, and jammers to make them lose interest.
36. Have the max amount of strontium. Or you will regret it.
37. If you afk outside the bubble of a PoS, you will probably die. If you’re cloaked, you may get uncloaked. It happens.
38. C1-C2 are soloable with few skills. C3s take some skills, C4s require two people and RR, C5s require at least five people and C6s require at least ten attentive people.
39. You are going to die.
40. Do not bring implants into a WH and expect them to last over a week. I bought a set of +3s, they lasted 3 months, then I got podded twice in the same 3 days.
41. Skilled scanners can scan out a mining op and only have the probes visible to you for seven seconds. And in the WH, the scanners operate. Make the connection?
42. Never assume that the ships you see on the scanner are the only ships in the wormhole.
43. Whs will make you obscenely rich, assuming you can find an unoccupied one, not get ganked within the first week and get whatever you came for out of the wh.
44. A wormhole in your system is not active unless you or someone else warps to it. Do not activate your static WH unless you need an exit, or you’ve got one more route people can use to find you.
45. By popular opinion, a drake is a good, cheap ship for running up to class three WHs. Don’t forget, popular opinion in an internet spaceship game doesn’t mean much.

To date, I’ve lost two hulks, a covetor, a vexor, a thorax, several Itty Vs, two pods, three domis and a large tower to the WH.
BTY if anyone finds the tower “Calculated Risk” floating in a C6 somewhere and can get me a route there, drop me a line.
45. Don’t type a blog post while mining in a C6.


Directional: How not to die

For those of you who don’t know, in WH space local chat is delayed. This basically means that if someone is in system with you, you don’t know unless you tell a joke so good that they type “lol” in local out of habit, or they uncloak in a stealth bomber and launch a bomb at your unsuspecting self. Considering that, again, anyone and everyone can and will try to kill you, you need to have an alternate method to detecting other players before they sneak up on you and give you a prostate exam with an interdictor, hence your directional scanner.

Most miners, highsec and nullsec, don’t give two units of tritanium about the directional scanner. If there’s someone in local, and they’re red, run, if not, keep mining, or get in a battleship.

I can only assume that the other denizens of other places besides WH don’t care about the directional either.

Anyway, the directional scanner works like a local chat, if you bought said local chat secondhand at a flea market from a dude with a shotgun and basset hound. It can’t see cloaked ships, only has an effective range of 14 AU, and, most damning of all, has to manually be pinged for new information.

If you ping your directional with active overview turned on, you’ll see whatever ships, etcetera are within 14 km of you. If you turn off “active overview settings”, then you get EVERYTHING within 14 AU of you, including moons, planets, and every single PoS module your tower has.

You may be asking why you’d ever want to turn off active overview settings, which seems reasonable at first, but shrivels away into idiocy with two key points:
Point one: By the time you see a ship on the scanner, you’re already dead.
Point two: Unless you turn your active overview setting off, you can’t see scan probes.

Scan probes are a very, very important thing to see on the directional.
The only way for someone to find and kill you is by using scan probes, the directional can see scan probes, there’s no problem, right?

Nope.

Because of mining drone’s giant sig radius, and a hulks moderate sig radius, it’s fairly easy to find a hulk. This means that you, as a miner/sleeper killing dude, need to be very, very on the ball when it comes to scanning the directional. Or you die. Maybe not immediately, maybe not in a few days, but It’s almost guaranteed when you find yourself in a bubble you weren’t watching the scanner.

Of course, a jerk could, hypothetically, scan out a grav site, then come back in a combat ship a few hours later and gank whoever mining with no warning whatsoever, or have such good scan skills that he pins you w/ probes @ 16 AU or some way to counter the directional scanner.

The downside to having active overview settings turned off, which I’ve stated before, is that it picks up all the planets, moons, ectera nearby, making it hard to pick out probes. This is somewhat countered by a strategy I developed of watching the little scrolly bar on the right side of the directional box. If the thing changed, I scrolled through the box to see if scan probes had appeared. If the size didn’t change, I assumed I got to live another five seconds.