So, about a year ago I won a few of Roc’s Ramblings Advent contests. I got some nice ammo, a cynabal, a few dramiels and other ships I could not fly, didn’t know how to fly and those that know me personally would never trust me with due to my abysmal kill/loss record.
SO, I instantly sold all of the ships, modules and other items that would make a pvper very happy for a week or two to the tune of about 600-800 mil, more than my little mining self had ever seen due to losing several hulks and never really mining anything harder to find than scordite.
Being a bit of a simpleton, I asked around “what would you do with 800 mil”. I recieved various responses like “faction mods”, “rattlesnake”, “awesome mission ship”, “go t3”, and more than a few “give it all to me lulz”
Then, I had a flash of insight: PASSIVE INCOME!
For those who just play Eve to spin ships in station, here’s a list of the various ways you can get isk in Eve, ordered from “most involved” to “least involved”:
WH pos ransoming
WH sleeper farming
ninja salvaging l4 missions
t2 component construction
spamming jita chat with scams.
This isn’t a complete nor completely accurate list, but I tried, darn it.
Anywho, after several pokes into the various passive incomes, I tried my hand at a pos farm. I was drawn in because it was the only passive income with a large income sum, and because it was something I wanted to do in Eve. So, I spent all that isk on two large towers and anchored them in a C1. Then, apologized profusely and moved to a different C1.
It has been exactly a year since then. Those two towers have grown to fourteen. Weekly maintenance has been about 10-15 hours and weekly cash flow has been about 300-400 mil.
As of this writing someone is blowing up those towers slowly, one by one. They will not be going back up. Whatever I can salvage from the wreckage (let’s be honest, it’s one guy and fourteen large towers, he’s gonna get bored soon) I will sell to fund future ventures.
Let me back up a bit. Typically, I refuel and rotate the towers on a weekly basis, anywhere from friday to sunday, depending on HW that week and upcoming tests, ect. So, this saturday I scan the highsec WH, check it annnnnnddd…..
Highsec island. And since I’m a moron and don’t keep a week of fuel in the towers, the towers will all offline soon. So, I take enough fuel to keep the main tower going for about a day and put alllllll the reaction profit in it.
Sunday night, the WH closes, I scan a new one. NOT a highsec island. I warp the freighter there, gets there at about midnight sunday night, before a 10 am psychology graduate-level class. And I’ve been doing boring stuff all day.
So I play a few rounds of Starcraft 2. Then bed. Wake up, am actually awake for psych class, am halfway to German when I realize that I forgot to refuel the main tower. Logon, everything’s swanky, I run a day’s worth of fuel in and online it. Go to German, leave, log back on….
Corp hangar gone. Carbide’s gone. Shield is up tho. So apparently in the 30 minute window of onlining they killed the corp hangar and hauled out about 360k m3 worth of carbides.
One sec… Nope, they’re not answering so I don’t know if they destroyed or hauled out the 2 bil worth of carbides. Meh.
Just to recap:
For the last year, these towers have been completely defenseless. They’ve all had two hardeners(offlined), have run out of fuel on multiple occasions, the actual main tower has assorted ECM and laser batteries(also offline) and I’m not even sure I actually put ammo in them or not.
And yet, these towers have stood proud against the multiple peoples coming in and out of a C1 highsec WH, devoters, eagles, falcons, ect, only to be laid low by a 2008 character in cane and hound with an impeccable sense of timing.
I’ve been thinking about it, and the only conceivable reason for this sudden bad luck in terms of total operational shutdown is that, for the last few days I’ve had 5 bil or so in wallet due to missing a few plexes and not spending the excess isk like water. This has been expressed to my various friends like so:
haav > hey, guess who has two thumbs and five bil?
haav > THIS GUY!
So, once again:
Murphy, you complete and utter asshole.
Spent 1.5 of that on fuel and reactants for this week, and assuming this hound and cane don’t destroy the 14 large towers, that’s another 2 bil.
So I’ll be using this to catapult myself back into an actual WH for sleeper killing, probably in tengus.
And here’s the last printscreen I’ll take of my WH. Fare the well, for you have paid a great deal of my account time for very little effort on my part.
Indiego Montoya > hey
Bacsalmas > hi
Indiego Montoya > just wondering how much carbide you got outta that hangar
Indiego Montoya > and wanted to ask you not to blow up my infrastructure.
Indiego Montoya > that was this week’s haul
Indiego Montoya > there’s nothing left in the silos
Bacsalmas > I think the danger of all pos 🙂
Indiego Montoya > but they’re a bitch to reanchor
Indiego Montoya > hmm?
Bacsalmas > you pay for, or shoot the POS ?
Indiego Montoya > go ahead and shoot
Indiego Montoya > i’m just saying there’s nothing there.
Bacsalmas > ok 🙂
Indiego Montoya > o/
Sometimes, you go into a situation and you know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t let the fact that I myself have never found myself in that scenario from the offset deter you, you’ll eventually find yourself warping into a fleet fight knowing exactly who to primary, why to do it and which board game to pull out once the lag hits.
More often, tho, you’ll enter a scenario that you honestly have no idea how to operate in. This will usually be made painfully obvious when someone who DOES know EXACTLY what the hell they’re doing comes along and tears you to pieces, possibly throwing a free trip back to empire in the process. Smart people learn from this process. Idiots complain.
I’d like to talk about one certain idiot given his explosive comupperance, and for the first time on this blog, it isn’t me. Also for the first time, I wasn’t involved at all except for offering assistance and cheering from the sidelines.
So, yesterday, it’s a typical day in my life:
Channel Name: WSpace Colonists
Listener: Indiego Montoya
Indiego Montoya > burnin fast, burin last, on the long distant road, through the lost mountians endless so far away from hooooooome
Indiego Montoya > de dedede dede dee de de do do do de de de do dedede de do
Indiego Montoya > dee de de de dede dee dee de do do do de dedede dede dededede doooo
When suddenly my perfect rendition of Dragonforce is interrupted by people wanting to talk.
[ 2010.03.01 15:11:53 ] Damark > haav i have serious business
[ 2010.03.01 15:11:59 ] Damark > stop muddying up the channel
[ 2010.03.01 15:12:02 ] Indiego Montoya > omg wai so srs.
[ 2010.03.01 15:12:15 ] Indiego Montoya > wht is ur srz bzns?
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:40 ] Damark > it actually is srs
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:43 ] Damark > so thats not funny
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:48 ] Damark > srs alliance
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:49 ] Indiego Montoya > well, crap on a stick.
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:56 ] Indiego Montoya > that’s not good.
Yes, apparently a serious-sounding alliance had found Damark, a dude who lives in a C3 w/ static highsec and laughs at most of my jokes. Damark came online to his corp’s small tower in reinforced, his true sansha large and other large untouched, and a caldari large not owned by him online in his system, owned by SRS business, some sort of alliance none of us had ever heard of, because we stopped caring about normal space a few months after each of us got into a WH. As per the non-agression pact we have, me and several other corps started informing corp mates, pressing Damark for info and offering ships, isk to hire Noir and gun modules.
It was at about this point that Damark announced that the dude operating the pos had anchored moon mining arrays.
He anchored moon mining arrays.
Moon mining arrays. In a area of space where, to keep nullsec alliances from gaining intrest and other stupid reasons, moon mining is impossible. This was, we had thought, fairly common knowledge. It gets better.
With that one statement, most of us went from talking to merc corps, panicky trying to get Noir(for all your overwhelming force needs!) on the horn, friends in high paces, friends in null places about any assistance they could offer to informing their friends that the dude had just anchored moon mining arrays and having a good laugh.
The dude then anchored cruise missile batteries.
The laughter continued. For the uninformed, cruise missile batteries provide dps on about cruiser level, are the only gun to stop firing once the pos goes into reinforced and can be speed tanked extremely effectively.
He then anchored hardeners, one of each, the first REASONABLE move to make all morning. Damark started checking the fitting on one of his BSs, an armageddon. After a few minutes, where the BS was clearly visible on the directional scanner, he offlines an EM hardener and onlines a second kinetic hardener. This sounds reasonable, until you know that towers have an inherent 25% resist to kinetic, and amarr ships deal EM/thermal.
At this point, we’ve stopped laughing and assume that there’s trickery afoot. No one could be this stupid. At some point, the follwing conversation takes place:
[ 2010.03.01 14:50:18 ] Corpmate > yea youre in my hole
[ 2010.03.01 14:53:39 ] Cpt Kabaal > it could be a good thing if ya were so hostile about it, i mean we are moving in, thats a fact, now we can work things out instead of the alternative
[ 2010.03.01 14:54:20 ] Bizmarcks > or we can destroy your pos and kick you out
[ 2010.03.01 14:54:57 ] Corpmate > yea thats a good alternative
[ 2010.03.01 14:55:16 ] Cpt Kabaal > Its your Choice lol
[ 2010.03.01 16:47:12 ] Bizmarcks > did you finally realise you cant moon mine in here ?
[ 2010.03.01 16:47:15 ] Bizmarcks > this aint null boy
Prompting more laughter, as the one thing WHers can’t stand, besides russians(most of them, can’t speak for everyone) is idiots. But the one thing above that, that will enrage a WH dweller to the point of scorched earth strategy, is when someone starts acting smug and claiming your home as his own.
The second reason that we apologized to our individual friends and that there wasn’t any threat that needed dealing with is that Damark is one of those peculiar paranoid people(90% of eve) that builds carriers in places that mass limitations on WHs forbid carriers from entering.
Thus, with advice from CCRES(thanks guys, you still scare the hell outta us) and SI radio, a Minmatar carrier and five BSs put all the guns into incapacitated, removing the laughable cruiser-sized dps, prompting this convo:
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:25 ] Cpt Kabaal > i sry my ceo hired the mercs to rape you
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:44 ] Damark > lol those were mercs?
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:48 ] Damark > i hope you didnt pay too much
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:59 ] Cpt Kabaal > didnt pay at all actually
[ 2010.03.02 06:18:07 ] Damark > well thanks for explaining this incredibly too easy to explain coincidence
[ 2010.03.02 06:19:34 ] Cpt Kabaal > its not over rest asured
See previous comments about smug idiots.
More bashing. Damark gets convo’ed by the alliance leader.
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:18 ] thebarry > so i’m carebearing in high sec, right?
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:36 ] Damark > and you start getting messages
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:40 ] Damark > saying a POS is under attack?
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:43 ] thebarry > and one of my alliance mates convos me like ‘um, i have a prob, my pos is being attacked’
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:48 ] thebarry > yes!
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:54 ] Damark > yea funny story
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:02 ] Damark > he moved into my hole
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:10 ] thebarry > and now i’ve discovered that the reason you are so motivated
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:13 ] thebarry > is that
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:14 ] thebarry > yes
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:18 ] thebarry > he is in your wh
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:23 ] Damark > yes he sure is
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:26 ] Damark > not for much longer tho
The CEO offers to remove the dude, and Damark requests 400 mil to let him leave peacefully, fully intending to steal the tower. SRS makes the first smart move all day and respectfully declined. Then make another stupid move.
[ 2010.03.02 04:02:46 ] thebarry > i’m sorry it took so long for me to realise it was your wh
[ 2010.03.02 04:02:48 ] thebarry > btw
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:02 ] thebarry > are you guyz interested in joining a new alliance?
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:08 ] thebarry > we could always use mroe help
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:14 ] thebarry > more too
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:57 ] Damark > not as of yet
What the hell are they smoking and can I have some?
An agreement is made and instantly collapses.
[ 2010.03.02 04:11:47 ] thebarry > ok buddy is going to get back to pos to start offlining and unachoring stuff
[ 2010.03.02 04:11:49 ] thebarry > plz dun shoot
[ 2010.03.02 04:12:01 ] Damark > if i have 400mil in my wallet in the next 27min i wont
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:10 ] thebarry > there will be no isk payments, sorry
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:28 ] thebarry > it’s not my pos, and tbh it would teach a valuable lesson
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:47 ] thebarry > i may be tempted to run a viator’s worth of stront to it, tho
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:57 ] thebarry > …just saying
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:12 ] Damark > lol so your saying it has no stront now?
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:14 ] Damark > ahahah
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:22 ] Damark > you shouldnt give this guy anchoring writes
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:50 ] thebarry > hahaha
For the record, it had one hour of strontium.
[ 2010.03.02 04:35:46 ] thebarry > man wtf are you having so many probs with that wh
[ 2010.03.02 04:35:49 ] thebarry > for?
[ 2010.03.02 04:35:54 ] Damark > it was just yesterday
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:01 ] Damark > otehr than yesterday and today its be awesome
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:02 ] Damark > lol
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:09 ] thebarry > haha
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:20 ] thebarry > well, sounds like you could use some alliance buddies to help
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:42 ] Damark > nah
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:53 ] thebarry > just htink, if you were in a alliance you wouldnt have lost the small pos!
You think I’m kidding? Whatever they’re smoking. I wanna have no intelligence whatsoever for the next few hours.
The alliance lead pulls the dude into the private chat.
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:07 ] thebarry > i think his ceo is still in the wh
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:09 ] thebarry > with ships
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:12 ] thebarry > or something
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:22 ] thebarry > he said he apologized to you
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:35 ] Damark > yea and then treatened me
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:39 ] thebarry > this is way too much dramarama for me
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:42 ] Damark > no shit
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:48 ] thebarry > i need to get back to spreadsheets
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:52 ] thebarry > don’t you understand?
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:00 ] Damark > yea man
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:09 ] Damark > and we need to get back to reacting sleeper shit
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:19 ] Damark > and captain needs to get back to moon goo in wh’s
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:26 ] Cpt Kabaal > sry bro
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:40 ] Cpt Kabaal > was just trying to mind my own buissness
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:48 ] Damark > by shitting on my lawn?
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:55 ] thebarry > hahaha
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:59 ] Damark > you dont anchor a pos in an occupied wh
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:02 ] thebarry > GET OFF HIS LAWN PLZ
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:05 ] Damark > unless you are looking for a fight
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:09 ] Damark > we brought one
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:14 ] Damark > and you cried to your alliance head
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:18 ] Damark > deal with it and gtfo
The CEO apologizes for blowing up the small tower, and offers another incentive to join his alliance.
[ 2010.03.02 06:39:21 ] thebarry > what did you lose?
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:25 ] Damark > every amar cruiser bpo and a majority of mislse bpos
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:43 ] Damark > i dunno tbh
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:47 ] Damark > it was a corpies project
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:50 ] Damark > hes rather angry
[ 2010.03.02 06:41:14 ] thebarry > i can imagine
[ 2010.03.02 06:41:23 ] thebarry > listen, we have research pos available
Is this standard alliance policy? Try to beat the crap out of someone, fail, and try to invite them into your alliance?
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:10 ] thebarry > haha
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:19 ] thebarry > i’m trying to save you damark
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:27 ] thebarry > i liek you
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:27 ] Damark > save me from what?
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:31 ] thebarry > you’re funny
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:39 ] thebarry > from nasty ppl
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:40 ] Damark > Noir is the best merc corp in the game
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:44 ] thebarry > i know
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:54 ] Damark > and i have a shit tonne of isk to throw
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:55 ] thebarry > but they arent the only one, just trust me
[ 2010.03.02 07:10:00 ] thebarry > i like you, trying to help
For the record, the two large poses were anchored less than five AU from where he put up his moon mining caldari large.
Damark and his corpies bash the heck outta the large tower, using
1 x Minmitar carrier (cant recall the name)
Ten boring hours later, it explodes, Rigby Jess and Daedalic omitted cause they passed out a few hours earlier.
tldr, carrier n friends stomp a WH pos into the ground after failed takeover.
Recently, a friend of mine linked a chatlog. Apparently, someone had bought a Rorqual without realizing that, being a capital ship, it could not use gates. Subsequently, he lost it on a gate. In the chatlog, he essentially explodes. With rage and idiocy.
Before that, another friend, through a series of coincidences, had all his chars outside his WH when the server crashed. When the server came back up, the WH connecting him to his 3-4 bil in assets was gone, with no way to get back in.
I’ll go ahead and let you imagine his reaction. Short story, a GM let him back in.
As I’ve heard before, Eve is a game of tens. You start out in a rookie ship and 100k isk sounds like shitloads. You get a frig and 10 mil sounds like shitloads. You get a cruiser and 100 mil sounds like shitloads. you get a BS and a bill is a shitloads. You get a carrier and usually by that point you think 500 mil is being poor.
With insurance the way it is, losing a ship isn’t much, and you can usually bounce back with the money. A personal nightmare of mine used to be losing all of my assets at once and finding myself back in a rookie ship with an empty wallet. My personal Eve nightmare has now changed to all of my friends stopping playing and possibly losing everything. And/or getting blamed for a giant corp theft or something.
In any case, if I did find myself in a frigate mining again, I still wouldn’t explode. I have friends now, friends that loaned me startup capital in a heartbeat, so even if I do find myself in a fucking navitas mining fifteen units of veldspar every fucking 60 fucking seconds until I want to hang myself…
Where was I going?
Anyway, in our WH, when we have to close a wormhole, we usually jump a bunch of medium and small sized ships through, jump the Rorq through, move the ships back through and then the Rorq, which so far has only failed few times, but we fixed that. Anyway, this scenario leave us in the situation of having a 1.7 bil ship, alone, on one side of a wormhole that usually, if we’re trying to close it, has several people on the other side that want to kill us.
I can’t accurately portray that risk, so let’s basically call it the equivalent of sticking your todger into a women’s bathroom at the annual switchblade owner convention.
Anyway, I’ve had losses before and they really didn’t bother me. When I lost the large tower to a highsec gank after getting it safely out of a C6, I made a witty comment in local and left. I lost a friend’s domi to a blob, I wished them a nice day. I would go on, but I’d like to hear your stories. What’s the worst loss you’ve had, and have you ever exploded like this idiot?