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meme: statistics (hehehe)

So, apparently there’s a bit of a meme going around where everyone waves their battleclinics around about how good they are and efficient and all that good stuff. I’d like to issue a challenge to do WORSE than me. No isk reward, you just get to show everyone how horrible you are:

Keep in mind that the two kills I’ve made are a myrm and shuttle, both of who were corpmates at the time that I accidentally either attacked with drones while assigning RR or was shooting at for giggles.

So, standing at a proud 0% efficiency (I like to keep it above -1%), here’s some of the noticeable kills. In chronological order.
2008.07.13 02:31:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Center for Advanced Studies
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Exequror
System: Indregulle
Security: 0.2
Damage Taken: 10311

Involved parties:

Name: Serpentis Patroller / Serpentis Corporation (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 10311

Dropped items:

Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 3
Vivid Hemorphite, Qty: 97 (Cargo)
EP-S Gaussian I Excavation Pulse, Qty: 3
Civilian Shield Booster I, Qty: 2
Medium Standard Container (Cargo)
Vivid Hemorphite, Qty: 130 (In Container)
Small Standard Container (Cargo)
Vivid Hemorphite, Qty: 40 (In Container)

My first loss eva, over two years ago. Did you know that rats sometimes fit warp scramblers? I didn’t.

haav -> guys, I’m scrambled in lowsec
corp -> we’d help, but you’ll be dead by the time we get there
haav -> no, it’s not a pirate.
haav -> it’s a rat.
haav -> he’s scrambled me
corp -> lolwut?

2008.07.17 00:57:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Center for Advanced Studies
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Exequror
System: Mesybier
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 3603

Involved parties:

Name: Serpentis Patroller / Serpentis Corporation (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 3603

Fell asleep.

2008.07.18 15:48:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Center for Advanced Studies
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Iteron Mark II
System: Pelille
Security: 0.2
Damage Taken: 1602

Involved parties:

Name: Osmodious (laid the final blow)
Security: 0.5
Corp: System-Lords
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Typhoon
Weapon: Paradise Cruise Missile
Damage Done: 1602

found the cheapest iteron mark 2 in the region, bought it, undocked, and got reminded where I was by a few cruise missiles >.>

2009.09.06 23:09:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: WYF8-8
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 6810

Involved parties:

Name: Bane Torpedo / Archangels (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 6810

Ahyup. Went to nullsec, turned the tank on, tanked a spawn, went to check on the grill, more rats warp in, I come back and see a pod >.>

2009.09.10 06:33:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: Scheenins
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 6565

Involved parties:

Name: Serpentis Guard / Serpentis Corporation (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 6565

Fell asleep while mining <.<

2009.09.24 02:20:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: J114443
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 5115

Involved parties:

Name: Dezzidor (laid the final blow)
Security: 5.0
Corp: Hunters Clan
Alliance: Noob Fleet
Faction: NONE
Ship: Wolf
Weapon: Domination 200mm Autocannon
Damage Done: 5115

Damn wolf BMed the grav and worked his way past my tank alarmingly quickly <..>

2009.11.26 05:27:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Buzzard
System: J161301
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 1395

Involved parties:

Name: Astraeaa (laid the final blow)
Security: -0.9
Corp: Optimus Crime.
Alliance: Triumvirate.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Helios
Weapon: Hobgoblin II
Damage Done: 1395

Name: Major Shake
Security: -0.6
Corp: The Scope
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Helios
Weapon: Tracking Disruptor II
Damage Done: 0

Nerf helios..es? heliosi? helios? One of those.

2010.01.21 04:39:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Occator
System: Crielere
Security: 0.4
Damage Taken: 8999

Involved parties:

Name: Monarch (laid the final blow)
Security: -9.1
Corp: the united
Alliance: Negative Ten.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Maelstrom
Weapon: 800mm Repeating Artillery II
Damage Done: 4904

Name: wicker man
Security: -10.0
Corp: the united
Alliance: Negative Ten.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Absolution
Weapon: Absolution
Damage Done: 3063

Name: Crashm8
Security: -10.0
Corp: the united
Alliance: Negative Ten.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Onyx
Weapon: Caldari Navy Havoc Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1032

The last time I tank a hauler instead of cargo or agility.

2010.04.01 22:38:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Dark Shadow Industries
Alliance: Rogue Elements.
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Buzzard
System: Jita
Security: 0.9
Damage Taken: 199

Involved parties:

Name: Officer Sugarboots (laid the final blow)
Security: -10.0
Corp: Jita Traffic Control
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Raven
Weapon: Large ‘Notos’ Explosive Charge I
Damage Done: 199

I hate highsec.

2010.05.01 14:52:00

Victim: herleena muran
Corp: Dark Shadow Industries
Alliance: Rogue Elements.
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Orca
System: X5-0EM
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 42933

Involved parties:

Name: Duncan MacGregor
Security: 0.6
Corp: Iridium Inc.
Alliance: Shadow of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Zealot
Weapon: Zealot
Damage Done: 9730

Name: karagahaga
Security: -0.5
Corp: The Shadow Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Cynabal
Weapon: Warrior II
Damage Done: 8048

Name: Yakudze
Security: 4.9
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Hurricane
Weapon: Hurricane
Damage Done: 7971

Name: 70x93n
Security: 2.8
Corp: The xDEATHx Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Sabre
Weapon: Sabre
Damage Done: 7505

Name: Atrosha
Security: 3.8
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Harpy
Weapon: Harpy
Damage Done: 3940

Name: Kanitel
Security: 2.5
Corp: The xDEATHx Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Flycatcher
Weapon: Thorn Rocket
Damage Done: 3041

Name: argon praim
Security: 4.4
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Scimitar
Weapon: Hobgoblin II
Damage Done: 1535

Name: YemodYar (laid the final blow)
Security: -0.7
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Falcon
Weapon: 250mm Prototype I Gauss Gun
Damage Done: 769

Name: Bromista
Security: -1.0
Corp: The Shadow Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Stiletto
Weapon: Stiletto
Damage Done: 347

Name: Henge DeMonar
Security: 4.4
Corp: The Shadow Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Basilisk
Weapon: Basilisk
Damage Done: 47

Name: Nemizzida
Security: -1.4
Corp: Iridium Inc.
Alliance: Shadow of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Loki
Weapon: Republic Fleet Warp Disruptor
Damage Done: 0

Note to self: stop playing Eve when half asleep.

Total losses:
Capsule 14
Retriever 1
Vexor 8
Iteron mark II 1
Iteron mark III 1
Iteron mark IV 3
Iteron mark V 8
Ibis 1
probe 1
Dominix 4
Slasher 1
Exequeror 4
newbship 2
Covetor 2
Hulk 4
Bantam 1
Vigil 1
shuttles 5
Buzzard 4
Badger 1
Occator 1
Catalyst 2

So, 0 isk in kills, about 1.3 bil in losses. Top that!

And as a bonus argument: Does this make me a carebear?

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6 Comments on “meme: statistics (hehehe)”

  1. Benicio says:

    You’re not a carebear because you dont mind going into lowsec/0.0 and there are no indignant tears about your losses.

    Entertaining read, it reminds me that there are others out there like me πŸ™‚

  2. ellisaudio says:

    Yeah,

    I have been there and done that too. The losses hurt – especially the expensive ships. With regard to ISK, I have about 600k in kills and over 4bil in losses. After losses, I have learned to make a few better decisions, but not always. However, I have never lost a ship becuase I feel asleep at the keyboard. This is funny – lol.

    Great post!

  3. Seismic Stan says:

    I considered taking part in this meme until I realised how bad my stats were compared to other posters. But I feel better now, thank you.

    Although at least yours are gloriously bad, so I can neither compete with the PvP junkies nor your magnificent pewfail. I’m just ‘meh’.

  4. Klann says:

    You’re never flying any of my ships anywhere…like ever. Maybe I’ll give you a noobie ship one day cuz it’s free but… damn. I think I have less losses then you to….

  5. Panthe Tek says:

    I laughed my ass off, great entertainment !
    Unfortunately I do not know anyone who has a worse kill:death ISK ratio.

  6. Tom says:

    Dude this is a post made of pure awesomesauce. I read this back in the day on capsuleer, and I just wan’t to leave a comment that this post keeps me playing eve. Not because I am better than you but because it reminds me this is a game I play for enjoyment and this teaches me how to laugh at my many mistakes.


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