Hauling: how not to die

1. You probably won’t die, unless you’re carrying something worth lots of iskies or sentimental value, at which point Murphy’s law kicks in and it explodes half a kilometer off the station.
2. Try to make sure that the isk required to destroy your ship is more than the isk you currently have in your ship. example: Covetor BPO in a shuttle, bad idea. Covetor BPO in a freighter: silly, but good idea.
3. Freighters, although big and awesome, can be killed. It doesn’t happen often, but it will. Don’t autopilot with more than a bil in cargo.
4. Tech 1 haulers explode when a rookie ship coughs at them. Make sure you’re either good at running away quickly or never carry things that even LOOK valuable.
5. Making a courier contract and doing it yourself will not stop people from seeing into your cargo.
6. Nor will putting your stuff in GSCs (Giant Secure Container)
7. A cloaky hauler is not invulnurable, a blockade runner is fairly invincible w/ the right strategies.
8. The best defence against suicide ganks is an Orca (Industrial Command Ship). Would-be gankers can’t see inside it’s corp hangar so they won’t risk the time it takes.
9. If you have to AP to Jita, AP to one or two jumps before Jita. A smartbombing BS costs about 3-4 mil after insurance.
10. A BS can kill your hauler. Most BSs, after insurance, cost under ten mil, fittings included. Be very nervous while hauling more than ten mil in a T1 hauler.
11. A typical highsec gank of a deep space transport takes 4-5 BSs. Be careful when hauling more than 50 mil.
12. A typical highsec gank of a cloaky hauler never effing happens, because you’re cloaked.
13. Autopilot and going AFK are the two most easiest way to spray paint “hot fresh iskies” on the side of your ship.
14. A deep space transport can fit a goodly tank at the expense of cargo.
15. If you fit your deep space transport for tank you’re either trying to get past a gatecamp where you KNOW a Heavy Interdictor is not present or you’re being an idiot.
16. The people with brains will look past the deep space transport’s tank bonuses and note that it has enough powergrid to fit a microwarpdrive.
17. It is a perfectly legitimate use of game mechanics to align to a gate, engage cloak and MWD, then disengage them after one cycle and engage warp to produce an insta-warp effect.
18. Freighters are slow as frozen molasses. Ask a corpmate nicely for his webbs.
19. Freighters are essentially giant cardboard boxes. If you get wardecced, do not take them out of station.
20. Skate around wardecs by keeping your freighter alt in a newbie corp. This may make #19 difficult.
21. To let an out-of-corp person web you, have then jettison ammo and have the freighter take from it.
22. Oh wait.
22. Have the freighter pilot in another ship take from your can, then webb. Pay very close attention if you get concord threats.
23. when hauling through lowsec, use a blockade runner (warp cloaked), occator (Mwd/cloak trick), Orca (MWD trick, very expensive and skill intensive), or a freighter (with several friends)
24. The cloak/MWD trick will not help very much against Warp bubbles in nullsec. Use a cloaky hauler.
25. When caught in a warp bubble, find the closest edge NOT on an align point with anything. Approach, turn on AB/MWD and cloak. Slooooowly make your way to safety.
26. Drones decloak you. IF you get decloaked for any reason you’re probably dead, burn out the bubble and try to align to something.
27. When in a T1 hauler/cloaky hauler, be wary of smartbombing gatecamps. Silly as it seems, have a tank on your cloaking ship.
28. If you find yourself screwed downriver, like protocloaked w/ no velocity next to a ten man gatecamp, sit there and wait for someone else to get caught, THEN try to run.
29. Evade station gatecamps by having a BM about 1,000 km away from the station on a line with how you undock. Instawarp happens every time and foils gatecamps, assuming no bubbles.
30. Jita IV moon four station has a moon and planet that fits this criteria.
31. In a fight between haulers and combat ships, there can only be two endings: the hauler dies or the hauler lives. Try to avoid the former situation by being verrrry careful.
32. Having a hauler that can warp cloak or protowarp scout for a hauler that can’t is a good strategy when traveling through lowsec.
33. Using two haulers that can cloak is a much better strategy.
34. Despite what your friends say, using a scout in null and lowsec is not “unmanly”.
35. JFs make all your lowsec hauling problems go away, unless you don’t know how to use one, in which case you shouldn’t get one.
36. If you’re too “noobish” to understand any of the above, then what the hell are you doing w/ over 100 mil and/or ask a corpmate.

[March 9 Addition]

5.4 B Iteron V (Gallente T1 Industrial) killmail

1.2 B Mammoth (Minmatar T1 Industrial) killmail

0.59 B Madger Mark II outside Jita 4-4 killmail


relatively small jita gank.

Hauling 360 mil worth of fullerides 25j: annoying and slow.
Hauling 360 mil of fullerides in an itty V: stupid as hell.
Cloak/AB warping on gates where you see BSs w/ sensor boosters: Sensible.
Getting ganked on the jita gate after 25 jumps of cloak/AB: ironic.
Maintaining a positive outlook just to screw with ganker’s head: Priceless.

[03:04:31] Black Necromunger > IM V QUICK, I CANT TELL YOU. unLES YOU PAY ME OFC
[03:04:37] Indiego Montoya > …
[03:04:44] Indiego Montoya > OFC?
[03:04:50] Black Necromunger > OF COURSE
[03:05:15] Indiego Montoya > ah.
[03:05:29] Indiego Montoya > no thanks.
[03:05:41] Indiego Montoya > but put bluntly
[03:05:41] Black Necromunger > HOW MUCH WAS IN THERE
[03:05:45] Indiego Montoya > 360 mil.
[03:06:10] Black Necromunger > I GOT ABOUT 200 THEN.. 😦
[03:06:20] Black Necromunger > FANCY BUYING IT BACK
[03:06:43] Indiego Montoya > …not really
[03:06:48] Indiego Montoya > but can i ask you for 10%?
[03:06:58] Indiego Montoya > so i can afford to keep flying haulers w/ 360 mil in them?
[03:06:58] Black Necromunger > HOW DID YOU GET THAT STUFF
[03:07:18] Indiego Montoya > pay me 10%. ofc
[03:07:30] Black Necromunger > NO
[03:07:31] Black Necromunger > LOL
[03:07:34] Indiego Montoya > lol
[03:07:40] Black Necromunger > NOT A HOPE
[03:07:43] Black Necromunger > 🙂
[03:07:45] Indiego Montoya > 5? 😛
[03:07:46] Black Necromunger > IM A BUSINESS MAN
[03:07:52] Black Necromunger > NOTHING NOT A PENNY
[03:07:54] Indiego Montoya > then here’s the business:P
[03:08:07] Indiego Montoya > if you give me 10% i can keep making those large amounts
[03:08:10] Black Necromunger > NO BUSINESS GIVNG ISK AWAY
[03:08:17] Black Necromunger > PLENTY MORE FISH TO KILL
[03:08:21] Indiego Montoya > if you dont, i cant and you wont be able to gank me cause i wont have anything 😛
[03:08:23] Black Necromunger > ONLY MADE 2 BIL TODAY 😦
[03:08:42] Indiego Montoya > oh dead
[03:08:45] Indiego Montoya > oh dear*
[03:08:52] Black Necromunger > I KNW SHITE AINT IT
[03:09:13] Indiego Montoya > not really
[03:09:23] Indiego Montoya > that was about a weeks pay for me.
[03:09:43] Indiego Montoya > so i’m honestly finding it hard to sympathize.
[03:10:11] Indiego Montoya > seven days and 700 mil till a freighter 😛
[03:10:17] Black Necromunger > PAY ME AND ILL TELL YOU HOW TO MAKE A BIL A DAY
[03:11:00] Indiego Montoya > …
[03:11:04] Indiego Montoya > highsec ganking?
[03:11:20] Black Necromunger > NOPE I HAVE SEVERAL MEANS
[03:11:29] Indiego Montoya > highsec ganking…several people?
[03:11:44] Black Necromunger > NO
[03:11:47] Indiego Montoya > damn.
[03:11:52] Indiego Montoya > i was sure that was it.
[03:11:55] Black Necromunger > 10MIL And thats it
[03:12:12] Black Necromunger > and ill give you a guide
[03:12:23] Indiego Montoya > mmhmm.
[03:12:31] Indiego Montoya > ooo, you stopped talking in all caps.
[03:12:59] Black Necromunger > 🙂
[03:13:46] Indiego Montoya > woohoo!
[03:13:47] Black Necromunger > last chance
[03:13:51] Indiego Montoya > you missed three cans!
[03:13:53] Black Necromunger > im not bs’ing
[03:13:57] Indiego Montoya > 76 mil, baby!
[03:14:03] Indiego Montoya > i can rebuy everything with this!
[03:14:16] Black Necromunger > its pennys
[03:14:38] Indiego Montoya > no thanks man, you’ve already given me 76 mil today, i’d hate to infringe anymore on your generous hospitality
[03:14:57] Indiego Montoya > man, awesome, 76 mil on the gate.
[03:15:00] Indiego Montoya > thank you so much
[03:15:11] Black Necromunger > it was yours anyway
[03:15:18] Indiego Montoya > nah man
[03:15:23] Black Necromunger > silly
[03:15:29] Indiego Montoya > it was yours
[03:15:39] Indiego Montoya > you took it from me, then gave back 14%
[03:15:44] Indiego Montoya > thats 4 more than i asked for!
[03:15:48] Indiego Montoya > you’re awesome.
[03:16:12] Indiego Montoya > ooh! and fullerides are up 50 isk!
[03:16:14] Black Necromunger > i knw
[03:16:18] Indiego Montoya > best day ever!
[03:16:48] Indiego Montoya > man, i wont bother you any more, have a great nite
[03:16:52] Black Necromunger > you still lost near 300mil
[03:16:54] Indiego Montoya > i gotta get some silicates 25j thataway
[03:16:57] Indiego Montoya > so?
[03:16:58] Black Necromunger > silly boy
[03:16:59] Indiego Montoya > dude?
[03:17:05] Indiego Montoya > i just made 76 mil in 5 minutes.
[03:17:12] Black Necromunger > not the best day then is it
[03:17:13] Indiego Montoya > nothing can top that.
[03:17:20] Indiego Montoya > pah
[03:17:22] Black Necromunger > no you list 300mil in 15
[03:17:27] Indiego Montoya > minor setback
[03:17:38] Indiego Montoya > i can lose a hulk in 30 seconds and a rorq in a minute
[03:17:47] Indiego Montoya > but mining, gettin 200 mil takes hours.
[03:17:52] Black Necromunger > well your a mong then
[03:17:54] Indiego Montoya > this is like, 20 times faster
[03:18:10] Indiego Montoya > i’m gonna look for more of my corpses!
[03:18:19] Indiego Montoya > thanks again dude, i gotta fly.
[03:18:49] Black Necromunger > you are a mong…
[03:18:53] Indiego Montoya > whats a mong?
[03:18:56] Indiego Montoya > mongolian?
[03:18:59] Indiego Montoya > those dudes are awesome.
[03:19:05] Black Necromunger > tis you
[03:19:06] Indiego Montoya > all like “HRRARGH”
[03:19:12] Indiego Montoya > dude, you’re too kind
[03:19:13] Black Necromunger > run along mong
[03:19:15] Indiego Montoya > you’re a mongolian too.
[03:19:22] Indiego Montoya > let’s get some elephants.
[03:19:29] Indiego Montoya > wait, no, that’s huns.

P.S., The corp of the ganker apologized profusely and booted the ganker out of corp, apparently karma does exist. He made 300 mil off a successful risk and got booted out of a corp he joined yesterday which he probably didn’t plan to stay in.
[05:52:08] Indiego Montoya > if you apologize one more time i’m sending your CEO a letter saying that you were involved in it.


omgwtfsplosion

Recently, a friend of mine linked a chatlog. Apparently, someone had bought a Rorqual without realizing that, being a capital ship, it could not use gates. Subsequently, he lost it on a gate. In the chatlog, he essentially explodes. With rage and idiocy.

Before that, another friend, through a series of coincidences, had all his chars outside his WH when the server crashed. When the server came back up, the WH connecting him to his 3-4 bil in assets was gone, with no way to get back in.

I’ll go ahead and let you imagine his reaction. Short story, a GM let him back in.

As I’ve heard before, Eve is a game of tens. You start out in a rookie ship and 100k isk sounds like shitloads. You get a frig and 10 mil sounds like shitloads. You get a cruiser and 100 mil sounds like shitloads. you get a BS and a bill is a shitloads. You get a carrier and usually by that point you think 500 mil is being poor.

With insurance the way it is, losing a ship isn’t much, and you can usually bounce back with the money. A personal nightmare of mine used to be losing all of my assets at once and finding myself back in a rookie ship with an empty wallet. My personal Eve nightmare has now changed to all of my friends stopping playing and possibly losing everything. And/or getting blamed for a giant corp theft or something.

In any case, if I did find myself in a frigate mining again, I still wouldn’t explode. I have friends now, friends that loaned me startup capital in a heartbeat, so even if I do find myself in a fucking navitas mining fifteen units of veldspar every fucking 60 fucking seconds until I want to hang myself…
Where was I going?

Anyway, in our WH, when we have to close a wormhole, we usually jump a bunch of medium and small sized ships through, jump the Rorq through, move the ships back through and then the Rorq, which so far has only failed few times, but we fixed that. Anyway, this scenario leave us in the situation of having a 1.7 bil ship, alone, on one side of a wormhole that usually, if we’re trying to close it, has several people on the other side that want to kill us.

I can’t accurately portray that risk, so let’s basically call it the equivalent of sticking your todger into a women’s bathroom at the annual switchblade owner convention.

Anyway, I’ve had losses before and they really didn’t bother me. When I lost the large tower to a highsec gank after getting it safely out of a C6, I made a witty comment in local and left. I lost a friend’s domi to a blob, I wished them a nice day. I would go on, but I’d like to hear your stories. What’s the worst loss you’ve had, and have you ever exploded like this idiot?


Know your ship types

Sooooo…. goonies collapsed.

Anyway, not that I really don’t care about an extremely aggressive environment where everything can be going swimmingly up until the point that you lose everything to a force so overwhelming that you almost logoff out of fear, but I’ll stick with my extremely aggressive environment where everything can be going swimmingly up until the point where you lose ALMOST everything to a slightly overwhelming force that usually leaves within 24 hours. Moving on, knowing your ship types.

I’ve already whined about not realizing that an Onxy was a Heavy Interdictor, and back when we almost lost the Rorqual I thought that a Falcon was an interceptor and spent most of the fight wondering how the hell an interceptor was permajamming me. Anyway, my big reason/exciting event you guys come here to read about happened last night.

A corp mate was mining while I was managing PoS shenanigans when he called combat probes. He made it to the PoS and got into his Cheetah while I took my Buzzard to the static C5 to see if the probes had come in from there. In the static, it’s static C2 had closed so we were a bit perplexed as to how someone had come in through here, until we found an incoming C5. Since we still had the same number of sigs in system as we had a good hour or two before the gank, we assumed someone had poked their head through and gone back out.

Great, now I’ve gotta beat myself over the head with a cloaking device.

Anyway, we decided that the best course of action would be to pick up the two or three cans of crokite and hole up for a few hours at which point we would try and close the C5. So, not stupid/crazy enough to take the Orca out for pickup, we moved an impel and itty V into the belt only to have a Sabre drop in on us, drop a bubble and fly out.

Now, my first impulse when stuck in an industrial (top speed is about 100m/s) in a warp bubble(usually 10km radius) is to take my hands off the keyboard and make a nice sandwich. You know, something with gouda and salami, mayo and some mustard, then come back and see if anyone else survived that could scan an entrance. But, after a few seconds of contemplating of which meat to use for the snack, I noticed that
A. The sabre had warped 40km away, meaning that this warp bubble was the stationary type and
B. I was pretty close to one of the bubble edges.

Slamming on the 1mn AB that seemed like a stupid joke at the time, my thought process of which cheese to use was completely shoved aside by the thought
“BURN TO THE EDGE! BURN!”
“AND DON’T FORGET THE CROKITE!”
Dutifully puttering towards the edge of the bubble, I looked back and noticed the impel trying to pull a logoffski, which apparently doesn’t work while in the middle of a sphere designed to inhibit warping off. A mid-sized fleet warped in, and started pounding on the impel while my scrawny t1 self continued puttering away. The impel popped about the same time I cleared the edge, and I attempted to warp away only to be oneshotted by a stiff breese from the nighthawk present.
The only difference between this annoying gank and the many, many, many other ganks I’ve been through is that there was a warp bubble present and I still managed to get my pod out, so I’ll take whatever win I can get. I scanned a new entrance, we got the impel pilot back in, and plan to start mining again once the unnoticed K162 in our system we hadn’t noticed vanishes.

Anyway, knowing that the Sabre was a regular interdictor instead of a heavy interdictor probably would have helped me maybe get the rigged itty V out as well as an empty pod…

This has been mentioned before, but ‘m gonna throw it up anyway. Handy little quiz on knowing ships.
http://phase.org/Eve/ShipQuiz

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to make a sandwich.


I see local spiking!

Well, today has been a very, very laggy day. I have been told that there has been massive fighting in nullsec, and according to a brief message that flashed on my screen, gates have been shut down.

I’m kinda wondering if the fighters filled out CCPs new “hugeass bitchin fleet fight” form.

Anyway, since the nullsec before Dominion was like a bucket of squirrels fighting over a bunch of acorns, Dominion seems to have effectively covered the acorns in grease. Lots and lots of lovely fighting, and all the squirrels losing body parts which stimulates the squirrel body part market so the cyborg squirrel manufacturers can sell bionic arms to the squirrels…..

Tortured, yet funny extended metaphor aside, the freighter ganks were interesting, but the amount of sovereignty gain and loss over the last few days, now easily viewed from the yellow sovereignty button, is fairly unnerving:

Hurray for MS paint. Anyway, All this fighting has been expected for a while now, but one thing is for certain: these warring dudes are gonna run outta ships eventually, and then the power shall return to the place it belongs: the miners! muahaha!

In all seriousness, I’m a bit worried that this will only make t2 prices rise, as pvpers are gonna want ships NOW, immediately, before the dreads finish cynoing into their home base. Where Eve goes from here, no-one knows, but following chaos theory I predict AAA and goonswarm wiping each other out, being beaten to pieces by xxdeathxx, who form an alliance with atlas, while a relative unknown manages to establish a nullsec trading post and manages to keep it going by the policy of setting all station campers to red so they can’t use the station and letting everyone else come and sell/buy. And maybe, just maybe, they call the station…Milliways.

Predictions/dreams aside, we had a very, very nice day in the WH and made quite a bit, top of the head calculations gives 230 mil apiece between 6 people(or however much 3.1 mil m3 of bistot goes for nowadays). One of these people is a new member in the corp, new to the WH op, so as is our custom he can’t take from the hangars and has to end and begin every sentence with the word “sir”.

From a personal standpoint, I’m suspicious of every new person regardless of background, and now that I have an orca I’ve moved everything that I consider mine into a GSC, given it an eight-digit password, put it in the secure box of the orca and log off with it at a safespot, with my blockade runner and hulk inside.

I give it… 3-4 weeks before I trust anyone new to the corp, because after 3-4 weeks, the wait has reduced their profit-time ratio to below mining veldspar in an osprey :). This is countered, unfortunately, by making about 100 mil per day in the WH./facepalm

Trust is a very, very good thing to have. I can count the number of people I truly trust in eve on one hand, mainly because I’ve known them for over a year now. It’s my philosophy that if you can’t physically punch someone in the face, then they have no reason to not cheat you in a game about internet spaceships.

P.S. hulks at 175 in Jita, what the hell? Also, I really wish I could write less time-sensitive blogs so that I could stagger them better than three in a day after 5 days of nothing, but life’s an isk spammer. I’ve got 2 more slightly less time sensative posts in drafts, and should be able to get back to a one every 2 day schedule, assuming goonswarm doesn’t dissolve in the next week or two or something amazing like that.

This post written while WH mining, apparently I have a death wish >.<