They don’t make em like they used to.

Sometimes, you go into a situation and you know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t let the fact that I myself have never found myself in that scenario from the offset deter you, you’ll eventually find yourself warping into a fleet fight knowing exactly who to primary, why to do it and which board game to pull out once the lag hits.

More often, tho, you’ll enter a scenario that you honestly have no idea how to operate in. This will usually be made painfully obvious when someone who DOES know EXACTLY what the hell they’re doing comes along and tears you to pieces, possibly throwing a free trip back to empire in the process. Smart people learn from this process. Idiots complain.

I’d like to talk about one certain idiot given his explosive comupperance, and for the first time on this blog, it isn’t me. Also for the first time, I wasn’t involved at all except for offering assistance and cheering from the sidelines.

So, yesterday, it’s a typical day in my life:
Channel Name: WSpace Colonists
Listener: Indiego Montoya
Indiego Montoya > burnin fast, burin last, on the long distant road, through the lost mountians endless so far away from hooooooome
Indiego Montoya > de dedede dede dee de de do do do de de de do dedede de do
Indiego Montoya > dee de de de dede dee dee de do do do de dedede dede dededede doooo

When suddenly my perfect rendition of Dragonforce is interrupted by people wanting to talk.

[ 2010.03.01 15:11:53 ] Damark > haav i have serious business
[ 2010.03.01 15:11:59 ] Damark > stop muddying up the channel
[ 2010.03.01 15:12:02 ] Indiego Montoya > omg wai so srs.
[ 2010.03.01 15:12:15 ] Indiego Montoya > wht is ur srz bzns?
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:40 ] Damark > it actually is srs
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:43 ] Damark > so thats not funny
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:48 ] Damark > srs alliance
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:49 ] Indiego Montoya > well, crap on a stick.
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:56 ] Indiego Montoya > that’s not good.

Yes, apparently a serious-sounding alliance had found Damark, a dude who lives in a C3 w/ static highsec and laughs at most of my jokes. Damark came online to his corp’s small tower in reinforced, his true sansha large and other large untouched, and a caldari large not owned by him online in his system, owned by SRS business, some sort of alliance none of us had ever heard of, because we stopped caring about normal space a few months after each of us got into a WH. As per the non-agression pact we have, me and several other corps started informing corp mates, pressing Damark for info and offering ships, isk to hire Noir and gun modules.

It was at about this point that Damark announced that the dude operating the pos had anchored moon mining arrays.

He anchored moon mining arrays.

Moon mining arrays. In a area of space where, to keep nullsec alliances from gaining intrest and other stupid reasons, moon mining is impossible. This was, we had thought, fairly common knowledge. It gets better.

With that one statement, most of us went from talking to merc corps, panicky trying to get Noir(for all your overwhelming force needs!) on the horn, friends in high paces, friends in null places about any assistance they could offer to informing their friends that the dude had just anchored moon mining arrays and having a good laugh.

The dude then anchored cruise missile batteries.

The laughter continued. For the uninformed, cruise missile batteries provide dps on about cruiser level, are the only gun to stop firing once the pos goes into reinforced and can be speed tanked extremely effectively.

He then anchored hardeners, one of each, the first REASONABLE move to make all morning. Damark started checking the fitting on one of his BSs, an armageddon. After a few minutes, where the BS was clearly visible on the directional scanner, he offlines an EM hardener and onlines a second kinetic hardener. This sounds reasonable, until you know that towers have an inherent 25% resist to kinetic, and amarr ships deal EM/thermal.

At this point, we’ve stopped laughing and assume that there’s trickery afoot. No one could be this stupid. At some point, the follwing conversation takes place:
[ 2010.03.01 14:50:18 ] Corpmate > yea youre in my hole
[ 2010.03.01 14:53:39 ] Cpt Kabaal > it could be a good thing if ya were so hostile about it, i mean we are moving in, thats a fact, now we can work things out instead of the alternative
[ 2010.03.01 14:54:20 ] Bizmarcks > or we can destroy your pos and kick you out
[ 2010.03.01 14:54:57 ] Corpmate > yea thats a good alternative
[ 2010.03.01 14:55:16 ] Cpt Kabaal > Its your Choice lol
[ 2010.03.01 16:47:12 ] Bizmarcks > did you finally realise you cant moon mine in here ?
[ 2010.03.01 16:47:15 ] Bizmarcks > this aint null boy

Prompting more laughter, as the one thing WHers can’t stand, besides russians(most of them, can’t speak for everyone) is idiots. But the one thing above that, that will enrage a WH dweller to the point of scorched earth strategy, is when someone starts acting smug and claiming your home as his own.

The second reason that we apologized to our individual friends and that there wasn’t any threat that needed dealing with is that Damark is one of those peculiar paranoid people(90% of eve) that builds carriers in places that mass limitations on WHs forbid carriers from entering.

Thus, with advice from CCRES(thanks guys, you still scare the hell outta us) and SI radio, a Minmatar carrier and five BSs put all the guns into incapacitated, removing the laughable cruiser-sized dps, prompting this convo:

[ 2010.03.02 06:16:25 ] Cpt Kabaal > i sry my ceo hired the mercs to rape you
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:44 ] Damark > lol those were mercs?
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:48 ] Damark > i hope you didnt pay too much
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:59 ] Cpt Kabaal > didnt pay at all actually
[ 2010.03.02 06:18:07 ] Damark > well thanks for explaining this incredibly too easy to explain coincidence
[ 2010.03.02 06:19:34 ] Cpt Kabaal > its not over rest asured

See previous comments about smug idiots.

More bashing. Damark gets convo’ed by the alliance leader.

[ 2010.03.02 03:58:18 ] thebarry > so i’m carebearing in high sec, right?
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:36 ] Damark > and you start getting messages
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:40 ] Damark > saying a POS is under attack?
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:43 ] thebarry > and one of my alliance mates convos me like ‘um, i have a prob, my pos is being attacked’
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:48 ] thebarry > yes!
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:54 ] Damark > yea funny story
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:02 ] Damark > he moved into my hole
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:10 ] thebarry > and now i’ve discovered that the reason you are so motivated
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:13 ] thebarry > is that
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:14 ] thebarry > yes
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:18 ] thebarry > he is in your wh
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:23 ] Damark > yes he sure is
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:26 ] Damark > not for much longer tho

The CEO offers to remove the dude, and Damark requests 400 mil to let him leave peacefully, fully intending to steal the tower. SRS makes the first smart move all day and respectfully declined. Then make another stupid move.

[ 2010.03.02 04:02:46 ] thebarry > i’m sorry it took so long for me to realise it was your wh
[ 2010.03.02 04:02:48 ] thebarry > btw
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:02 ] thebarry > are you guyz interested in joining a new alliance?
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:08 ] thebarry > we could always use mroe help
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:14 ] thebarry > more too
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:57 ] Damark > not as of yet

What the hell are they smoking and can I have some?

An agreement is made and instantly collapses.

[ 2010.03.02 04:11:47 ] thebarry > ok buddy is going to get back to pos to start offlining and unachoring stuff
[ 2010.03.02 04:11:49 ] thebarry > plz dun shoot
[ 2010.03.02 04:12:01 ] Damark > if i have 400mil in my wallet in the next 27min i wont
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:10 ] thebarry > there will be no isk payments, sorry
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:28 ] thebarry > it’s not my pos, and tbh it would teach a valuable lesson
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:47 ] thebarry > i may be tempted to run a viator’s worth of stront to it, tho
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:57 ] thebarry > …just saying
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:12 ] Damark > lol so your saying it has no stront now?
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:14 ] Damark > ahahah
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:22 ] Damark > you shouldnt give this guy anchoring writes
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:50 ] thebarry > hahaha

For the record, it had one hour of strontium.

[ 2010.03.02 04:35:46 ] thebarry > man wtf are you having so many probs with that wh
[ 2010.03.02 04:35:49 ] thebarry > for?
[ 2010.03.02 04:35:54 ] Damark > it was just yesterday
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:01 ] Damark > otehr than yesterday and today its be awesome
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:02 ] Damark > lol
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:09 ] thebarry > haha
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:20 ] thebarry > well, sounds like you could use some alliance buddies to help
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:42 ] Damark > nah
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:53 ] thebarry > just htink, if you were in a alliance you wouldnt have lost the small pos!

You think I’m kidding? Whatever they’re smoking. I wanna have no intelligence whatsoever for the next few hours.

The alliance lead pulls the dude into the private chat.
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:07 ] thebarry > i think his ceo is still in the wh
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:09 ] thebarry > with ships
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:12 ] thebarry > or something
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:22 ] thebarry > he said he apologized to you
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:35 ] Damark > yea and then treatened me
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:39 ] thebarry > this is way too much dramarama for me
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:42 ] Damark > no shit
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:48 ] thebarry > i need to get back to spreadsheets
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:52 ] thebarry > don’t you understand?
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:00 ] Damark > yea man
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:09 ] Damark > and we need to get back to reacting sleeper shit
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:19 ] Damark > and captain needs to get back to moon goo in wh’s
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:26 ] Cpt Kabaal > sry bro
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:40 ] Cpt Kabaal > was just trying to mind my own buissness
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:48 ] Damark > by shitting on my lawn?
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:55 ] thebarry > hahaha
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:59 ] Damark > you dont anchor a pos in an occupied wh
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:02 ] thebarry > GET OFF HIS LAWN PLZ
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:05 ] Damark > unless you are looking for a fight
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:09 ] Damark > we brought one
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:14 ] Damark > and you cried to your alliance head
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:18 ] Damark > deal with it and gtfo

The CEO apologizes for blowing up the small tower, and offers another incentive to join his alliance.

[ 2010.03.02 06:39:21 ] thebarry > what did you lose?
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:25 ] Damark > every amar cruiser bpo and a majority of mislse bpos
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:43 ] Damark > i dunno tbh
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:47 ] Damark > it was a corpies project
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:50 ] Damark > hes rather angry
[ 2010.03.02 06:41:14 ] thebarry > i can imagine
[ 2010.03.02 06:41:23 ] thebarry > listen, we have research pos available

Is this standard alliance policy? Try to beat the crap out of someone, fail, and try to invite them into your alliance?

More threatening…

[ 2010.03.02 07:09:10 ] thebarry > haha
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:19 ] thebarry > i’m trying to save you damark
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:27 ] thebarry > i liek you
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:27 ] Damark > save me from what?
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:31 ] thebarry > you’re funny
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:39 ] thebarry > from nasty ppl
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:40 ] Damark > Noir is the best merc corp in the game
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:44 ] thebarry > i know
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:54 ] Damark > and i have a shit tonne of isk to throw
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:55 ] thebarry > but they arent the only one, just trust me
[ 2010.03.02 07:10:00 ] thebarry > i like you, trying to help

For the record, the two large poses were anchored less than five AU from where he put up his moon mining caldari large.

Damark and his corpies bash the heck outta the large tower, using

1 x Minmitar carrier (cant recall the name)
2x geddon
2x typhoon
1x raven
1x rohk
1x hurricane

Ten boring hours later, it explodes, Rigby Jess and Daedalic omitted cause they passed out a few hours earlier.

tldr, carrier n friends stomp a WH pos into the ground after failed takeover.

relatively small jita gank.

Hauling 360 mil worth of fullerides 25j: annoying and slow.
Hauling 360 mil of fullerides in an itty V: stupid as hell.
Cloak/AB warping on gates where you see BSs w/ sensor boosters: Sensible.
Getting ganked on the jita gate after 25 jumps of cloak/AB: ironic.
Maintaining a positive outlook just to screw with ganker’s head: Priceless.

[03:04:31] Black Necromunger > IM V QUICK, I CANT TELL YOU. unLES YOU PAY ME OFC
[03:04:37] Indiego Montoya > …
[03:04:44] Indiego Montoya > OFC?
[03:04:50] Black Necromunger > OF COURSE
[03:05:15] Indiego Montoya > ah.
[03:05:29] Indiego Montoya > no thanks.
[03:05:41] Indiego Montoya > but put bluntly
[03:05:41] Black Necromunger > HOW MUCH WAS IN THERE
[03:05:45] Indiego Montoya > 360 mil.
[03:06:10] Black Necromunger > I GOT ABOUT 200 THEN.. 😦
[03:06:20] Black Necromunger > FANCY BUYING IT BACK
[03:06:43] Indiego Montoya > …not really
[03:06:48] Indiego Montoya > but can i ask you for 10%?
[03:06:58] Indiego Montoya > so i can afford to keep flying haulers w/ 360 mil in them?
[03:06:58] Black Necromunger > HOW DID YOU GET THAT STUFF
[03:07:18] Indiego Montoya > pay me 10%. ofc
[03:07:30] Black Necromunger > NO
[03:07:31] Black Necromunger > LOL
[03:07:34] Indiego Montoya > lol
[03:07:40] Black Necromunger > NOT A HOPE
[03:07:43] Black Necromunger > 🙂
[03:07:45] Indiego Montoya > 5? 😛
[03:07:46] Black Necromunger > IM A BUSINESS MAN
[03:07:52] Black Necromunger > NOTHING NOT A PENNY
[03:07:54] Indiego Montoya > then here’s the business:P
[03:08:07] Indiego Montoya > if you give me 10% i can keep making those large amounts
[03:08:10] Black Necromunger > NO BUSINESS GIVNG ISK AWAY
[03:08:17] Black Necromunger > PLENTY MORE FISH TO KILL
[03:08:21] Indiego Montoya > if you dont, i cant and you wont be able to gank me cause i wont have anything 😛
[03:08:23] Black Necromunger > ONLY MADE 2 BIL TODAY 😦
[03:08:42] Indiego Montoya > oh dead
[03:08:45] Indiego Montoya > oh dear*
[03:08:52] Black Necromunger > I KNW SHITE AINT IT
[03:09:13] Indiego Montoya > not really
[03:09:23] Indiego Montoya > that was about a weeks pay for me.
[03:09:43] Indiego Montoya > so i’m honestly finding it hard to sympathize.
[03:10:11] Indiego Montoya > seven days and 700 mil till a freighter 😛
[03:10:17] Black Necromunger > PAY ME AND ILL TELL YOU HOW TO MAKE A BIL A DAY
[03:11:00] Indiego Montoya > …
[03:11:04] Indiego Montoya > highsec ganking?
[03:11:20] Black Necromunger > NOPE I HAVE SEVERAL MEANS
[03:11:29] Indiego Montoya > highsec ganking…several people?
[03:11:44] Black Necromunger > NO
[03:11:47] Indiego Montoya > damn.
[03:11:52] Indiego Montoya > i was sure that was it.
[03:11:55] Black Necromunger > 10MIL And thats it
[03:12:12] Black Necromunger > and ill give you a guide
[03:12:23] Indiego Montoya > mmhmm.
[03:12:31] Indiego Montoya > ooo, you stopped talking in all caps.
[03:12:59] Black Necromunger > 🙂
[03:13:46] Indiego Montoya > woohoo!
[03:13:47] Black Necromunger > last chance
[03:13:51] Indiego Montoya > you missed three cans!
[03:13:53] Black Necromunger > im not bs’ing
[03:13:57] Indiego Montoya > 76 mil, baby!
[03:14:03] Indiego Montoya > i can rebuy everything with this!
[03:14:16] Black Necromunger > its pennys
[03:14:38] Indiego Montoya > no thanks man, you’ve already given me 76 mil today, i’d hate to infringe anymore on your generous hospitality
[03:14:57] Indiego Montoya > man, awesome, 76 mil on the gate.
[03:15:00] Indiego Montoya > thank you so much
[03:15:11] Black Necromunger > it was yours anyway
[03:15:18] Indiego Montoya > nah man
[03:15:23] Black Necromunger > silly
[03:15:29] Indiego Montoya > it was yours
[03:15:39] Indiego Montoya > you took it from me, then gave back 14%
[03:15:44] Indiego Montoya > thats 4 more than i asked for!
[03:15:48] Indiego Montoya > you’re awesome.
[03:16:12] Indiego Montoya > ooh! and fullerides are up 50 isk!
[03:16:14] Black Necromunger > i knw
[03:16:18] Indiego Montoya > best day ever!
[03:16:48] Indiego Montoya > man, i wont bother you any more, have a great nite
[03:16:52] Black Necromunger > you still lost near 300mil
[03:16:54] Indiego Montoya > i gotta get some silicates 25j thataway
[03:16:57] Indiego Montoya > so?
[03:16:58] Black Necromunger > silly boy
[03:16:59] Indiego Montoya > dude?
[03:17:05] Indiego Montoya > i just made 76 mil in 5 minutes.
[03:17:12] Black Necromunger > not the best day then is it
[03:17:13] Indiego Montoya > nothing can top that.
[03:17:20] Indiego Montoya > pah
[03:17:22] Black Necromunger > no you list 300mil in 15
[03:17:27] Indiego Montoya > minor setback
[03:17:38] Indiego Montoya > i can lose a hulk in 30 seconds and a rorq in a minute
[03:17:47] Indiego Montoya > but mining, gettin 200 mil takes hours.
[03:17:52] Black Necromunger > well your a mong then
[03:17:54] Indiego Montoya > this is like, 20 times faster
[03:18:10] Indiego Montoya > i’m gonna look for more of my corpses!
[03:18:19] Indiego Montoya > thanks again dude, i gotta fly.
[03:18:49] Black Necromunger > you are a mong…
[03:18:53] Indiego Montoya > whats a mong?
[03:18:56] Indiego Montoya > mongolian?
[03:18:59] Indiego Montoya > those dudes are awesome.
[03:19:05] Black Necromunger > tis you
[03:19:06] Indiego Montoya > all like “HRRARGH”
[03:19:12] Indiego Montoya > dude, you’re too kind
[03:19:13] Black Necromunger > run along mong
[03:19:15] Indiego Montoya > you’re a mongolian too.
[03:19:22] Indiego Montoya > let’s get some elephants.
[03:19:29] Indiego Montoya > wait, no, that’s huns.

P.S., The corp of the ganker apologized profusely and booted the ganker out of corp, apparently karma does exist. He made 300 mil off a successful risk and got booted out of a corp he joined yesterday which he probably didn’t plan to stay in.
[05:52:08] Indiego Montoya > if you apologize one more time i’m sending your CEO a letter saying that you were involved in it.


Recently, a friend of mine linked a chatlog. Apparently, someone had bought a Rorqual without realizing that, being a capital ship, it could not use gates. Subsequently, he lost it on a gate. In the chatlog, he essentially explodes. With rage and idiocy.

Before that, another friend, through a series of coincidences, had all his chars outside his WH when the server crashed. When the server came back up, the WH connecting him to his 3-4 bil in assets was gone, with no way to get back in.

I’ll go ahead and let you imagine his reaction. Short story, a GM let him back in.

As I’ve heard before, Eve is a game of tens. You start out in a rookie ship and 100k isk sounds like shitloads. You get a frig and 10 mil sounds like shitloads. You get a cruiser and 100 mil sounds like shitloads. you get a BS and a bill is a shitloads. You get a carrier and usually by that point you think 500 mil is being poor.

With insurance the way it is, losing a ship isn’t much, and you can usually bounce back with the money. A personal nightmare of mine used to be losing all of my assets at once and finding myself back in a rookie ship with an empty wallet. My personal Eve nightmare has now changed to all of my friends stopping playing and possibly losing everything. And/or getting blamed for a giant corp theft or something.

In any case, if I did find myself in a frigate mining again, I still wouldn’t explode. I have friends now, friends that loaned me startup capital in a heartbeat, so even if I do find myself in a fucking navitas mining fifteen units of veldspar every fucking 60 fucking seconds until I want to hang myself…
Where was I going?

Anyway, in our WH, when we have to close a wormhole, we usually jump a bunch of medium and small sized ships through, jump the Rorq through, move the ships back through and then the Rorq, which so far has only failed few times, but we fixed that. Anyway, this scenario leave us in the situation of having a 1.7 bil ship, alone, on one side of a wormhole that usually, if we’re trying to close it, has several people on the other side that want to kill us.

I can’t accurately portray that risk, so let’s basically call it the equivalent of sticking your todger into a women’s bathroom at the annual switchblade owner convention.

Anyway, I’ve had losses before and they really didn’t bother me. When I lost the large tower to a highsec gank after getting it safely out of a C6, I made a witty comment in local and left. I lost a friend’s domi to a blob, I wished them a nice day. I would go on, but I’d like to hear your stories. What’s the worst loss you’ve had, and have you ever exploded like this idiot?

Irony, my old jackass of a friend

Let me rephrase that:
Irony, you jackass son of a cross-eyed whore. And screw you too, Murphy.

Remember how I’ve been whining about losing a PoS in a C6 for the last few weeks? Last night, I get this:

I logon, and someone by the name of Henner Borgenson has apparently found the PoS and contracted the BMs to Blake, who contracts them to me. We get in our scan alts, burn a way out through four systems in under an hour, and I head back to the PoS to get my Viator, my ship of choice for hostile environments.

Unfortunately, my Viator, rigged as it was, holds 7.5k m3. A large pos, packaged, is 8k m3. So, I take the only available hauler that can hold 8k m3, a trusty Iteron V that someone fit low-friction nozzles to for some reason. I put two stabs, two nanos and an expanded cargohold in the lows and a protocloak in the high, rounding it off with as many shield extenders as I can fit in the midslots and an invul field to cover it. I head out to highsec, and fly to where the BMs are, pick em up, and fly through WH space to a C6, which, lo and behold, has the PoS. I start to unanchor, warp out, warp to 100km, and cloak, setting an orbit of 160km. 55 minutes later, my hauler has made it to warp-to range of the PoS and it’s about to unanchor. I warp to it, scoop it and burn like hell out through the C6 and connecting C2, making it to highsec. Exuberant, I log onto an alt and start clearing anomalies in my C1 while warping the hauler. Half an hour later, I tab into the hauler and notice someone firing at me with cruise missiles. Five seconds later, I’m warping in a pod to the nearest station, buying an itty V and a cargo expander, clinging to the brief hope that the gank was a solo one and the dude is docking to get his own hauler. Shit don’t happen, I arrive at the scene and find my wreck completely looted, along with three battlecruiser wrecks.
It could be the fact that it’s currently 2:30 in the morning, but I really didn’t feel too bothered by this. I guess that I’d already written the tower off as a loss and was treating it as a bonus.
Anyway, I am now, hypothetically, 360 mil poorer than I was a few hours ago, not including the under 5 mil hauler. I WAS going to give Henner Borgenson a letter praising the skies and all the heavens for this glorious day, but he’ll have to settle for a “thanks for thinking of me” note. And some iskies once I manage to get a third and fourth tower running >.>

If anyone asks, I made 20 mil off the sleeper sites as I was ganked for 360 mil.

So, the end result from this is moving “normal space” up to number three on my “list of things to loathe”, finally overtaking “Idiots in expensive ships” but still behind “well-organized gatecamps” and “Pomeranians”

Next time, I’m employing red frog industries for my hauling needs…Curse my impatient self!

Operation Passive Income

In games, there’s generally two kinds of income: Active and passive. Active is, say, running a mission or killing ten wild boars, while passive incomes are essentially investing your pile of money in something and coming back after a certain amount of time to find a larger amount of money.

After losing the PoS Calculated Risk(Again, if anyone sees it, take a potshot at it and I’ll convo you from the “pos under attack” message), a friend pointed out to me how incredibly stupid it was to have a PoS running reactions in a C6, which was both difficult to access and was under impending doom from a carrier or dread, as well as having no moon mining ability, essentially making it nullsec in terms of risk but with none of the supplemented costs of moon mining.

So, I locked myself in a few gravs for a few days and managed to scrape together about 500 mil and enough self esteem to not shoot myself after spending a few days mining. After talking with a friend, he loaned me about 200 mil for starting up my idea and I started training an alt to manage the thing. This original hauling alt was followed by a combat alt, an emergency scan alt and a trade alt, so as of now all of my characters are involved in WH space in one way or another.

The origonal “Plan Awesome” went as follows:
1. Buy a PoS, silos, reactors, materials.
2. find/go into a WH you found previously
3. Setup the PoSes and get the reactions running
4. Forget about the entire thing for a week or so.
5. Come back, get the products to jita
6. Profit!

Unfortunately, since I needed defenses on the towers, I was only able to use coupling arrays, meaning that instead of my projected “once a week” screw with, I had to manage these things every 14 hours. For the sake of my sleep schedule, I screwed with them every 12 hours.

Anyrate, the first revision of Plan Awesome came when we scanned a route to highsec that went through a C1. I logged a scan alt off in it, waited a few days to make sure it was unoccupied, and scanned an exit 3 jumps from jita at the same time we got a highsec exit from our C6 10 jumps from jita at the same time our freighter alt finished hauling my pile of PoS equipment crap to Jita.

Now, anyone with half a spinal column will tell you that you need a fleet of battleships and/or a dread or two to take down a large pos. Assuming, yaknow, if they could stop screaming long enough to form an opinion. A C1 has the nice perk of only allowing a BC or smaller inside, so on paper my PoS was practically immortal…assuming I didn’t get someone so pissed off at me that they built a PoS inside my WH, built a dread at it and used that to take down my PoSes, so I was able to completely forget about defenses and anchor reactors and silos to the large towers, meaning that I now only need to screw with these things every few days.

Anyway, the first PoS went up with several small, unimportant incidents that were all managed eventually and I was able to get a scan ship, an emergency scan ship, a second emergency scan ship and an emergency scan alt in his own scan ship logged off just in case I lost all three, which seemed impossible. Murphy’s law is an asshole.

Anyrate, remember how my main corp got wardecced?

To avoid getting my newbie char ganked, I made a corp and moved all parties involved into it. Well, at some point, unnoticed by me, one of the members of that wardeccing corp found his way into my WH and logged off.

Let me reiterate, there is absolutely no link between my main corp and the alt corp. Unless the dude was somehow in our private chat channel, there is no way to connect us. Anyway, my first day in the C1, I warp to where the static was yesterday and start scanning for a new one in a tech one scan frig. An arazu decloaks and starts shooting at me. I’m so surprised that he manages to get a lock on me and kills my less-than-a-mil scan ship, but I still get the pod out, get another scan frig, fit it, fly it to a different safespot and through a series of coincidences lose that one too. A bit unnerved, I log the scan alt on and scan a static, warp to it, warp my combat char to him, and head back to empire and buy more scan ships.
Over the course of the next week he kills four more scan ships and three salvage boats, culminating with me, sitting in a cleared anomaly while my salvage char zips around in a tristan picking up wrecks when the arazu warps in and starts locking the tristan. I tell the combat pilot, in a drake, to lock the arazu while telling the tristan to run his stupid ass off. He gets out, and the Arazu scrambles the drake. Then jams it. No stranger to ECM, I check my cargo for FoF missiles(damnit!) and keep trying to get a lock on him, waiting for the inevitable triple-ecm-fail that’s screwed my ECM ships over so many times. The jams fail, I get a lock, I launch one salvo of missiles and a falcon with a name suspiciously similar to the Arazu’s name warps in and jams me. They both launch drones and start pecking away at me. My only offensive option at this point is to launch my three hobgoblins(lost 2 during the anomaly) and hope I can eliminate enough of their DPS that they don’t break my passive tank. Surprise surprise, they’re 30km away and pop all my drones. I run through my options, and I’ve got none. Wait, no, make that one. One extremely stupid one. I log on my hauling char and head to my static to buy some FoF missiles.

I get to the static at about the same time that he starts getting past my tank, when I notice that he’s stopped scramming me. Trying to look as combaty as possible, I align to a planet and warp out just before my tank goes to armor. He posts in local:

“I’d kill you, but IRL issues. Bye”

I think I’d feel better if he had killed me…

Anyway, after a few days he leaves my WH and I get back into the swing of things, managing the PoS, running anomalies and selling stuff in jita. I manage to make it to jita with three days of products and nanoribbons and profit about 200 mil, so I switch to a more expensive, but higher profit moon goo reaction. That’s where I am now. The revised plan awesome now involves expanding this operation to every moon so that no-one can build a PoS of their own and attack me with a dread or something. And maybe to anchor some guns at some point.