meme: statistics (hehehe)

So, apparently there’s a bit of a meme going around where everyone waves their battleclinics around about how good they are and efficient and all that good stuff. I’d like to issue a challenge to do WORSE than me. No isk reward, you just get to show everyone how horrible you are:

Keep in mind that the two kills I’ve made are a myrm and shuttle, both of who were corpmates at the time that I accidentally either attacked with drones while assigning RR or was shooting at for giggles.

So, standing at a proud 0% efficiency (I like to keep it above -1%), here’s some of the noticeable kills. In chronological order.
2008.07.13 02:31:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Center for Advanced Studies
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Exequror
System: Indregulle
Security: 0.2
Damage Taken: 10311

Involved parties:

Name: Serpentis Patroller / Serpentis Corporation (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 10311

Dropped items:

Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 3
Vivid Hemorphite, Qty: 97 (Cargo)
EP-S Gaussian I Excavation Pulse, Qty: 3
Civilian Shield Booster I, Qty: 2
Medium Standard Container (Cargo)
Vivid Hemorphite, Qty: 130 (In Container)
Small Standard Container (Cargo)
Vivid Hemorphite, Qty: 40 (In Container)

My first loss eva, over two years ago. Did you know that rats sometimes fit warp scramblers? I didn’t.

haav -> guys, I’m scrambled in lowsec
corp -> we’d help, but you’ll be dead by the time we get there
haav -> no, it’s not a pirate.
haav -> it’s a rat.
haav -> he’s scrambled me
corp -> lolwut?

2008.07.17 00:57:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Center for Advanced Studies
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Exequror
System: Mesybier
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 3603

Involved parties:

Name: Serpentis Patroller / Serpentis Corporation (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 3603

Fell asleep.

2008.07.18 15:48:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Center for Advanced Studies
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Iteron Mark II
System: Pelille
Security: 0.2
Damage Taken: 1602

Involved parties:

Name: Osmodious (laid the final blow)
Security: 0.5
Corp: System-Lords
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Typhoon
Weapon: Paradise Cruise Missile
Damage Done: 1602

found the cheapest iteron mark 2 in the region, bought it, undocked, and got reminded where I was by a few cruise missiles >.>

2009.09.06 23:09:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: WYF8-8
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 6810

Involved parties:

Name: Bane Torpedo / Archangels (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 6810

Ahyup. Went to nullsec, turned the tank on, tanked a spawn, went to check on the grill, more rats warp in, I come back and see a pod >.>

2009.09.10 06:33:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: Scheenins
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 6565

Involved parties:

Name: Serpentis Guard / Serpentis Corporation (laid the final blow)
Damage Done: 6565

Fell asleep while mining <.<

2009.09.24 02:20:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: J114443
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 5115

Involved parties:

Name: Dezzidor (laid the final blow)
Security: 5.0
Corp: Hunters Clan
Alliance: Noob Fleet
Faction: NONE
Ship: Wolf
Weapon: Domination 200mm Autocannon
Damage Done: 5115

Damn wolf BMed the grav and worked his way past my tank alarmingly quickly <..>

2009.11.26 05:27:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Buzzard
System: J161301
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 1395

Involved parties:

Name: Astraeaa (laid the final blow)
Security: -0.9
Corp: Optimus Crime.
Alliance: Triumvirate.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Helios
Weapon: Hobgoblin II
Damage Done: 1395

Name: Major Shake
Security: -0.6
Corp: The Scope
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Helios
Weapon: Tracking Disruptor II
Damage Done: 0

Nerf helios..es? heliosi? helios? One of those.

2010.01.21 04:39:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Infinity Miners Union
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Occator
System: Crielere
Security: 0.4
Damage Taken: 8999

Involved parties:

Name: Monarch (laid the final blow)
Security: -9.1
Corp: the united
Alliance: Negative Ten.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Maelstrom
Weapon: 800mm Repeating Artillery II
Damage Done: 4904

Name: wicker man
Security: -10.0
Corp: the united
Alliance: Negative Ten.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Absolution
Weapon: Absolution
Damage Done: 3063

Name: Crashm8
Security: -10.0
Corp: the united
Alliance: Negative Ten.
Faction: NONE
Ship: Onyx
Weapon: Caldari Navy Havoc Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1032

The last time I tank a hauler instead of cargo or agility.

2010.04.01 22:38:00

Victim: haav0c
Corp: Dark Shadow Industries
Alliance: Rogue Elements.
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Buzzard
System: Jita
Security: 0.9
Damage Taken: 199

Involved parties:

Name: Officer Sugarboots (laid the final blow)
Security: -10.0
Corp: Jita Traffic Control
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Raven
Weapon: Large ‘Notos’ Explosive Charge I
Damage Done: 199

I hate highsec.

2010.05.01 14:52:00

Victim: herleena muran
Corp: Dark Shadow Industries
Alliance: Rogue Elements.
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Orca
System: X5-0EM
Security: 0.0
Damage Taken: 42933

Involved parties:

Name: Duncan MacGregor
Security: 0.6
Corp: Iridium Inc.
Alliance: Shadow of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Zealot
Weapon: Zealot
Damage Done: 9730

Name: karagahaga
Security: -0.5
Corp: The Shadow Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Cynabal
Weapon: Warrior II
Damage Done: 8048

Name: Yakudze
Security: 4.9
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Hurricane
Weapon: Hurricane
Damage Done: 7971

Name: 70x93n
Security: 2.8
Corp: The xDEATHx Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Sabre
Weapon: Sabre
Damage Done: 7505

Name: Atrosha
Security: 3.8
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Harpy
Weapon: Harpy
Damage Done: 3940

Name: Kanitel
Security: 2.5
Corp: The xDEATHx Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Flycatcher
Weapon: Thorn Rocket
Damage Done: 3041

Name: argon praim
Security: 4.4
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Scimitar
Weapon: Hobgoblin II
Damage Done: 1535

Name: YemodYar (laid the final blow)
Security: -0.7
Corp: Red’s Swashbucklers Corp
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Falcon
Weapon: 250mm Prototype I Gauss Gun
Damage Done: 769

Name: Bromista
Security: -1.0
Corp: The Shadow Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Stiletto
Weapon: Stiletto
Damage Done: 347

Name: Henge DeMonar
Security: 4.4
Corp: The Shadow Squadron
Alliance: Legion of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Basilisk
Weapon: Basilisk
Damage Done: 47

Name: Nemizzida
Security: -1.4
Corp: Iridium Inc.
Alliance: Shadow of xXDEATHXx
Faction: NONE
Ship: Loki
Weapon: Republic Fleet Warp Disruptor
Damage Done: 0

Note to self: stop playing Eve when half asleep.

Total losses:
Capsule 14
Retriever 1
Vexor 8
Iteron mark II 1
Iteron mark III 1
Iteron mark IV 3
Iteron mark V 8
Ibis 1
probe 1
Dominix 4
Slasher 1
Exequeror 4
newbship 2
Covetor 2
Hulk 4
Bantam 1
Vigil 1
shuttles 5
Buzzard 4
Badger 1
Occator 1
Catalyst 2

So, 0 isk in kills, about 1.3 bil in losses. Top that!

And as a bonus argument: Does this make me a carebear?


I hate lowsec

I wouldn’t call myself a carebear. I live in W-Space, have tried null, tend to take the risky shot over the safe one and usually end up killed for it. Repeatedly.

Anyway, here’s today’s misadventure:
I’m scanning, after the fifth C5 wh, which has a probable C5 static, It’s about 2 am. I plan to go to bed immediately if not sooner, so I launch five probes at 4 AU and two at two AU, overlapping the two twos and a four with the remaining four fours (Say that five times fast). I go round the system, scanning at each planet. Whenever I get a red dot or circle at 10% strength or more, I center the two 2 AU probes on top and rescan, which usually gives me the type, ranging from Ladar(damnit), Radar(argh), Magnetometric(curses!) and Unknown(Yay!).

Anyway, I find a WH on the first sweep and warp to it, K162 from XXdeathXX space, making this our seventh encounter with the Russian kind and our third with XXdeath in particular. The silver lining to this particular vodka-fueled cloud of cryillic-spewing death was that the WH was end of lifetime. Good thing about the end of lifetime, but that usually means that they’ve been here and activated the static some point in the last 24 hours, which will make any route I scan through this system unstable closing-time wise.

More scanning, I find the C5 static and decide to stay in system to check the last planet, partially for a sense of completion and partially because the XXdeath WH had had its stability disrupted a tad, meaning that it had been used rather heavily. Lo and behold, highsec WH.

Inwardly cheering, I grab a skillbook or two, log my freighter alt in and scurry home, updating my alt’s train queues (logistical domi FTW). I then, using the passive income profits, buy about…450 mil worth, which gets me two fitted gang domis, two fitted gang myrms and a dps apocalypse.

(You can’t tell, but I was using the word “DPS ironically, since as of this writing I just barely break 300 dps with a gank-fit apoch. I need to git me sum supportin skills!).

Anyway, three A.M. now, I shove all 300.3k m3 into the freighter, set destination to the highsec system, undock, stop ship, warp to the first gate and start cursing like I’ve walked into a door while simultaniously developing Tourette’s syndrome.
This highsec WH is on a highsec island, making it impossible to get to without going through three lowsec systems and all the pirates contained wherein. And I have to get a freighter, one of the biggest, slowest ships in Eve through, or wait the 4-5 days it will take to find a BS-supporting unoccupied route again. Feeling the pangs of sleep, I go to bed with an alarm set for just after downtime, five hours from now and set the freighter to autopilot to the last highsec system.
Dreamless night, wake up, get my main outside the WH at the first lowsec, freighter jumps in, starts warping to the next lowsec gate, main char(in Buzzard) get in web range, webs, warning pops up, I ignore it, and my Buzzard starts taking gate fire as the freighter warps off.
Apparently, I had forgotten that the freighter alt was in the altcorp I had created to protect my C1 and/or hauling shenanigans from wardecs, so, panicking, I mash the “warp” button on whatever I have selected at the time, which turns out to be the next gate.
Next local has a dude in it, I warp the freighter off the gate, unassisted, lands on next gate and jumps through without incident, main char docks and buys a frig w/ webs, and after the 15 minute jerk timer, I dock the freighter in one station, undock in pod, dock in another to get an actual SHIP, undock, jettison the tritanium gratuity gift, main steals it, freighter steals it back and BAM, I can web through the last lowsec. Which I do.

Dock in highsec island, move one Dominix through before realizing that three out of the five wormholes in the chain have gone end of lifetime, and if they collapse either my freighter will be stuck on the wrong side of several lowsec gates from jita or my main, albeit buzzard-less, will be stuck far, far away from where I need his talents. I move one more ship, web the freighter through the lowsecs again and nip back home before the WH closes, which it does, fifteen minutes later.


It seemed like a really good idea at the time

You know me, I like making people laugh. As such, April Fools day is my unofficial holiday, where each year I pull some elaborate heist over a nearby friend, making an extremely trivial change that is extremely difficult to do, like swapping my friend’s car from one side of the street to the other while he sleeps.

This year, I turned my brain towards a simple, yet massive prank: In between the hours of midnight and five AM, I was going to move the WH PoS one moon to the left, then, send a corp mail saying “har har i wuz spy and stole your iskies”.

Plans were made. I wrote the letter, made safespots to hold the ships and cargo, and sat patiently and waited for the day of reckoning. Part A of the plan was to move all the ships, using the Orca or my handy ship command skills to move the ships, then the cargo, to the safe, which was about 15 AU off grid. Part B was to use a blockade runner to unanchor the guns, then the empty corp hangar, then the PoS, re-anchoring it one moon to the left, anchor corp hangar n such, guns, send the mail and go off to sleep. Predictably, things started to go horribly, horribly wrong around Part A and continued to fail explosively for the rest of the night.

At midnight, the American players in corp had gone to bed and the UK ones were not scheduled to wake up for another five hours, I started unanchoring the spare corp hangar while moving the ships from the maint bay to the safespot. I managed most of the hulks, all the Gallente ships and all other ships that would fit into the maint bay of my Orca. Then, the first problem of the night struck.

Raath (maker of staticmapper.com, for all your WH static needs), had recently purchased a Falcon, intended for use in all things jamming and currently floating in space next to the maint bay. This would normally not present a problem, since the falcon fits in the Orca’s maint bay, but he had left a module in it. For the uninformed, when a ship has a module in it it can’t be stuffed into a maintenence bay on another ship, and since I hadn’t taken the five week training session on “how to fly Caldari t2 cruisers”, the ship was going nowhere.

While I was perfectly willing to leave Raath’s Typhoon (Minmatar Battleship) floating in empty space for about twelve hours, a 100 mil Falcon hull was an entirely different story. To leave the Falcon safe, I made a a plan to scan an exit, get a small tower in with an alt, have the alt put up the tower where the old tower was in the name of the altcorp while I put up the Caldari large tower on the one moon to the left.

I start scanning, find a C5, which goes to a C6.

Russians.

To make matters worse, Russians with two carriers, two dreads and various tech 2 ships, including a Vulture (Caldari Command Ship), a ship whose skill training time is just under a third of a year.

To make matters even worse, ships were appearing and vanishing along with capsules, so they were active. I drop sister probes, do a 32 AU scan and recall probes. two sigs in system, I look at the size of the red sphere, look at the planets that it encapsulates, pick one on the edge, and warp to it, drop probes again, scan, wormhole.

Mindful of the fact that if WE saw scan probes in system, we would immediately close the connecting WH.

I pop into their static and look around. Static C4, end of lifetime, which means that I can’t risk getting an alt and tower in. I speed back through to our C6, get the Orca (250,000,000 kg) and a calculator, and pass BS and Orca through until the WH goes critical.

Making the first smart choice all night, instead of blindly passing the Orca through, I move my scan alt into the connecting WH, then jump the Orca through. Then watch, as the WH closes, leaving all of my alts on the wrong side of the WH, and no-one but me has the BM for where the ships are.

I web the orca through the Russian C6 (noticing scan probes as I do so), flee through the end of lifetime C4 link and logoff he Orca, then start scanning the 35 sig system. Literally, the last sig is the WH, C2, highsec static, Orca gets out, Covops out.

After a string of cursing, I tear through the Russian WH and wake up a corp mate. The corpmate, who logs in his Myrmidon (Gallente Battlecruiser), says that he needs combat probes to scan out the 1.5 bil pile of ships.

[ 2010.04.01 06:00:16 ] haav0c > corpmate…
[ 2010.04.01 06:00:18 ] haav0c > you busy?
[ 2010.04.01 06:00:25 ] haav0c > we’ve got a bit of a problem.
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:12 ] haav0c > and by “bit”
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:14 ] haav0c > i mean.
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:17 ] Corpmate > whats up?
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:21 ] haav0c > well
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:25 ] haav0c > say, hypothetically.
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:31 ] Corpmate > uh oh
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:35 ] haav0c > a dude made a plan for an april fools joke.
[ 2010.04.01 06:05:31 ] Corpmate > wait….it’s past midnight there already
[ 2010.04.01 06:05:37 ] Corpmate > im not falling for this
[ 2010.04.01 06:05:52 ] haav0c > >.>
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:02 ] haav0c > let’s also say that he’s been moving ships for the last hour
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:09 ] haav0c > and ran into a little snag
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:15 ] haav0c > that raath’s shiny new falcon
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:25 ] haav0c > had shit in the cargo
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:32 ] Corpmate > 😦
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:42 ] haav0c > and he wasn’t about to leave a shiny falcon floating at the old pos, so he started scanning.
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:46 ] haav0c > and found russians.
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:49 ] haav0c > active russians.
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:58 ] haav0c > so he tried to close the WH by himself.
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:02 ] haav0c > hypothetically.
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:19 ] haav0c > and let’s also say, hypothetifuckingcally.
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:28 ] Corpmate > and did this dude hypothetically lose an orca?
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:32 ] haav0c > that he is currently in an occupied system
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:37 ] haav0c > with no link to our wh
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:42 ] haav0c > and the orca logoffskied.
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:56 ] Corpmate > lololol
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:08 ] Corpmate > so ur in a russian occupied system in an orca?
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:16 ] haav0c > no, that was two WHs ago
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:25 ] haav0c > we’re safe from the russians.
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:28 ] haav0c > but…
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:42 ] haav0c > most if not all of our shit is currently floating in a safespot
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:48 ] haav0c > to which only i have the BM.
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:48 ] Corpmate > do orcas have scanners fit?
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:50 ] haav0c > no.
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:05 ] haav0c > but that’s irrelevent
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:13 ] haav0c > because i’m in a covops with the fucking orca
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:20 ] Corpmate > dude…i can’t fly most of the ships
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:23 ] haav0c > exactly.
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:32 ] haav0c > so, what i’d really, really appreciate right now
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:51 ] Corpmate > u need me to scan out the safe spot?
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:55 ] haav0c > is you scanning a route while i try to get out of WH space with the orca intact, get back into WH space and clean this shit up.
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:56 ] Corpmate > and put a bm in the can?
[ 2010.04.01 06:10:24 ] Corpmate > omg
[ 2010.04.01 06:10:33 ] Corpmate > /emote /facepalms
[ 2010.04.01 06:11:18 ] haav0c > raath and blake can…probably clean the shit up
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:13 ] haav0c > it’s…
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:16 ] haav0c > kinda southey
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:21 ] haav0c > well
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:29 ] Corpmate > about how far away?
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:30 ] haav0c > it’s not too far off the center of the system
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:33 ] haav0c > umm
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:35 ] haav0c > 10 au
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:39 ] haav0c > maybe 16
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:48 ] Corpmate > so, not a very safe spot… ….
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:50 ] haav0c > no.
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:01 ] haav0c > i kinda figured that i’d be fucking done by now.
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:04 ] Corpmate > how many ships are there?
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:12 ] haav0c > bout…ten
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:17 ] Corpmate > what kind?
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:25 ] haav0c > itty Vs, domi
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:26 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:28 ] haav0c > the hulks.
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:33 ] Corpmate > i can fly both of those
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:03 ] Corpmate > and how was this supposed to be an april fools joke? im not getting that part.
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:20 ] haav0c > included in this package was a leter saying
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:30 ] haav0c > “haha i was a spy all along i’ve taken everything”
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:39 ] Corpmate > hahahah…ic
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:56 ] haav0c > and the joke was that the pos was moved one moon to the left >.>
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:59 ] haav0c > instead of being taken.
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:08 ] haav0c > i planned this shit for months, man.
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:11 ] Corpmate > what? u moved the pos?
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:13 ] haav0c > no
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:17 ] Corpmate > thank god
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:18 ] haav0c > that was part C
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:27 ] haav0c > this right here is part A crashing and burning.
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:53 ] Corpmate > im not sure i have combat probes in my ship…so that’s a relief….hope we have some in the cargo bays
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:05 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:11 ] haav0c > the cargo bays…
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:16 ] haav0c > that i put in the ittys?
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:22 ] Corpmate > …
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:26 ] haav0c > ho boy.
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:45 ] Corpmate > so…what is left at the POS?
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:50 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:57 ] haav0c > breaath mint and the ore.
[ 2010.04.01 06:17:10 ] Corpmate > roflmao


Thankfully, someone with more foresight than me had put combat probes in the “we’re screwed” container, which I had somehow missed in my initial “move everything to the safe” stage. He finds the ships, gets them back to the PoS, and we all log at about…five in the morning.




Big Bear Hug

[TIP] In addition to Empire, Dotlan also tracks statistics for WH systems. You can track historical jumps and kills out of game in the following URL format: http://evemaps.dotlan.net/system/Jxxxxxx. So for example, you can see the history on this little C1.

We’ve had a quiet weekend in our WH space as far as mining goes but saw a lot of visitor activity, especially Russian visitor activity.

Friday

  • Found a good route to empire, C6 (us) -> C5 -> C4 -> highsec one jump from Jita.
  • Standard drill: out out, fuel in

Saturday

  • Woke up early and started scanning, ooook normal WH procedure
  • Core grav despawned, damn
  • Only 4 Ladars left, damn
  • Nobody online to run encounters, damn

At this point I decided to start harvesting gas. I fitted a Dominix to take on Sleeper frigates and headed out to activate two Ladar sites.

After a few minutes, a Tengu, Drake, and Scorpion were scramming me. They had apparently already scanned our system down and bookmarked it. When I came online, they came in for the kill.

Now I do check the Dotlan charts for my system when I log on for the day, and I should have been aware that there were multiple jumps over the span of 3-4 hours prior to me logging on, but I ignored all that.

2010.03.13 14:26:00

Victim: Blake
Destroyed: Dominix
Damage Taken: 25215

Involved parties:

Name: Emergent Patroller / Unknown
Damage Done: 11652

Name: XaosSergey
Corp: Space Patrol Russian Federation
Ship: Tengu
Weapon: Caldari Navy Scourge Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 6034

Name: Waitingsteel (laid the final blow)
Corp: Space Patrol Russian Federation
Ship: Drake
Weapon: Caldari Navy Scourge Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 5997

Name: Janychar
Corp: Space Patrol Russian Federation
Ship: Scorpion
Weapon: Caldari Navy Scourge Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1532

Destroyed items:

N-Type EM Hardener I
Large Capacitor Control Circuit I, Qty: 2
Stasis Webifier II
Large Anti-Explosive Pump I
Large Remote Armor Repair System II
Hammerhead II (Drone Bay)
Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane II, Qty: 2
250mm Railgun II, Qty: 2
Garde I, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)

Dropped items:

Armor Thermic Hardener II
Damage Control II
Armor Explosive Hardener II
Stasis Webifier II
Medium Energy Neutralizer I, Qty: 2
Cap Recharger II, Qty: 3
Hammerhead II, Qty: 3 (Drone Bay)
Armor Kinetic Hardener II
250mm Railgun II
Garde I, Qty: 3 (Drone Bay)

Luckily I was quick with the mouse and got my pod back to the POS. After a few minutes of silence, I saw local blinking.

[ 2010.03.13 14:27:36 ] Janychar > do u senk that we coold to destroy u pos?

Hmm, I’m not one for smacktalk so I did not respond and starting onlining guns and POS shield hardeners. I think they were looking for me to respond because they eventually got bored and left our system.

There were 10 hours left on our static WH and I sat cloaked watching numerous Space Patrol Russian Federation ships take a peek into our WH to see if any more targets were active until it eventually closed.

летать безопасно! (fly safe? sorry for the Google Translator usage)


I think I’m playing the wrong game.

I’ve taken a look around, at other blog posts and players all bragging about corp theft, ninja salvaging, looting and ganking. I then looked at my kill statistics (0 kills 54 losses). Then back at everything else. Then back at my losses (2 bil in assets lost).

I’m starting to get the feeling that I’m too damn nice. A few weeks ago, I’m running a site in my C1, in my trusty passive drake. A hurricane opens fire on me with a SB supporting. Knowing that there’s no way I’ll get the hurricane (probably pvp specced) down, I open fire on the SB and get it down to structure before it warps out. Drake explodes, pod to pos. Wait an hour, get out, get a new drake, refit, get back into PoS.

A few hours later a dude, from the same corp that killed me, asks in local for an exit. At this point, the general idea of Eve would be to get him to warp into a bubble w/ my drake and blast him to bits with extreme vindication. I fleet with him and warp him to my highsec exit and wish him a nice day.

I can just HEAR my collective audience sighing right now.

Similarly, we’re in the C6 running ore out through a 5 WH route to highsec when we spot a raven on directional. Combat ships, start scanning for him. I open a convo and offer him an exit after we finish the ore. Which we give him, no charge or anything.

A week ago, I’m scanning a route. I pin our static, warp to it, cloak, get involved with an argument with Blake that lasts half an hour. WH flash. Sentinel uncloaks on WH and launches probes. I convo him, he’s lost and has been trying to find an exit from W-space for a week, but is convinced that our WH, despite him coming through the static, has another WH in it.

I remind all of you that this is a C6, the deepest possible WH that no-one should come into by accident. The wormhole info says “deadly”, for crying out loud!

I go into the WH that he’s just come out of and scan a lowsec WH in under five minutes, warp him to it, then collapse our static just in case he was actually an attacker.

Yesterday, we’re just chillin.
OMG SISTER COMBAT PROBES
No longer chilling.
The other person online at the time goes offline for reasons that definitely weren’t fear and terror, and I wait, for an hour, watching the directional to see what happens.

The scan probes stay on directional… and stay there…. So, either the user has forgotten he’s launched them or one of our six signatures is giving a horrible time. Eventually, I ask in local

haav -> Dude, you’ve had probes out for the last hour and a half, wth?
dude -> sorry i lost

Another dude…lost… I find him an exit.

Anyrate, here’s the crowning moment of my stupidity:

We’ve got like a day or two of nitrogen isotopes left. I’m scanning a route, it’s about ten at night. After three WHs, I get a C4.

Twenty five sigs.

After scanning twenty-three signetures, I find a WH. Joy upon joys, it goes to a C4. Pop through, wrecks on the directional. I warp to the anomalies, fourth one has wrecks in it, meaning that someone was JUST there killing and is getting his salvage alt, probably.

Conscious of the fact that any person running C4s has several friends, I log my alt on, shove her in a tristan w/ an AB fitted, warp her through the route and start looting, approaching wrecks, selecting a planet and hovering over the “warp to” button. Eight wrecks, my parinoa overwhelms me at about the same time I finish the last wreck within 34km. Not pushing my luck, I engage warp. As I warp out, a tengu lands on grid. Typing “I regret nothing” in local, I jump through the WH I came through in both ships, and burn space-rubber back towards home.

I get through about… three wormholes before this train of through hits me:
“This is about 6-8 mil of salvage”
“This is a trivial amount for me”
“I’m planning on running C4 anomalies”
“I’d hate it if this happened to me”

Guilt hits me, I transfer the stolen lewt to the buzzard, tristan back to pos, buzzard back to the C4. I warp to the anomaly within 100km, the tengu is sitting there, 70km away from me. I apologize in local, jettison a can w/ the stuff and start warping off.

He gets two salvos off on my buzzard and drops me to armor before I warp out. As I warp to the wormhole, he types in local:

“wardec inc TBH”

I jump through the WH, burn home, and open convo w/ the dude.

[ 2010.03.08 02:28:39 ] haav0c > so you’re wardeccing us because i jetted some of your lewts 70km away?
[ 2010.03.08 02:29:07 ] haav0c > i mean christ, man, i gave the shit back.
[ 2010.03.08 02:29:24 ] haav0c > what would you have done if i had kept it? double wardecced us?
[ 2010.03.08 02:30:42 ] Baillif > ya see the fun thing about wh corps is
[ 2010.03.08 02:30:47 ] Baillif > people will give up your locations
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:00 ] Baillif > in this case its a fair bit easier since i already have a cov ops in your hole
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:05 ] Baillif > so i dont have to spend isk
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:19 ] Baillif > we already know c4

I think he’s referring to the C4 I was scanning in. Or maybe the second C4. idk.

[ 2010.03.08 02:31:26 ] haav0c > erm.
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:40 ] Baillif > or maybe not another one in there
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:44 ] Baillif > no matter we will find that one too
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:14 ] haav0c > and you’re gonna go to all this over…2 mil of salvage?
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:22 ] haav0c > which I gave back?
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:28 ] Baillif > well we enjoy killing anyway
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:32 ] haav0c > alright.
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:44 ] Baillif > doubly so since we are irritated
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:45 ] haav0c > so this is the typical “we’ll kill you on sight” mentality?
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:07 ] Baillif > something like that
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:15 ] haav0c > so…typical WH attitude?
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:21 ] Baillif > pretty much
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:24 ] haav0c > good to know we’re on the same page.
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:43 ] haav0c > have fun w/ the 33 sig C4.
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:52 ] haav0c > http://www.staticmapper.com may help.

Insert shameless plug here.

[ 2010.03.08 02:33:54 ] Baillif > wh sigs are big
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:57 ] Baillif > specially k162s
[ 2010.03.08 02:34:05 ] haav0c > mmhm.
[ 2010.03.08 02:34:45 ] haav0c > how big are they once you pass a carrier or two through?
[ 2010.03.08 02:35:16 ] Baillif > why would you go and do a thing like that
[ 2010.03.08 02:35:35 ] haav0c > because you scare the hell outta me?
[ 2010.03.08 02:35:53 ] haav0c > no more than any other person who’s opened fire on me, admitted.
[ 2010.03.08 02:36:29 ] Baillif > regrettably you were not within precision missile range
[ 2010.03.08 02:36:44 ] haav0c > could you have switched in time?
[ 2010.03.08 02:37:03 ] Baillif > if you were in precision range you wouldnt have been leaving for other reasons
[ 2010.03.08 02:37:09 ] Baillif > so yeah
[ 2010.03.08 02:37:27 ] haav0c > yup.
[ 2010.03.08 02:38:08 ] Baillif > admittedly that was the most hilarious thing another corp has done in a while
[ 2010.03.08 02:38:09 ] haav0c > well, next time i give shit back i won’t stop to abandon the can XD
[ 2010.03.08 02:38:16 ] haav0c > i try XD
[ 2010.03.08 02:38:34 ] Baillif > but i have killed for less
[ 2010.03.08 02:39:05 ] haav0c > you almost killed for just that.
[ 2010.03.08 02:39:12 ] haav0c > and i’ve died for less.
[ 2010.03.08 02:39:28 ] haav0c > wishing a nullsec fleet a “good morning” tops that list.

All the while I’m texing the carrier pilot
“Need closing power ASAP”

[ 2010.03.08 02:40:55 ] haav0c > btw, if you have any covops in our hole
[ 2010.03.08 02:41:05 ] haav0c > they have… 2 minutes tops.
[ 2010.03.08 02:41:13 ] Baillif > ill be sure to let him know
[ 2010.03.08 02:41:30 ] haav0c > there i go again, being fucking polite.
[ 2010.03.08 02:42:57 ] haav0c > well, for what it’s worth, i’m really, really sorry i delayed your isk making by all of thirty seconds.
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:04 ] haav0c > how could i have been so foolish.
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:06 ] Baillif > lol
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:26 ] Baillif > youc ould ahve at least came in combat ships and made it fun
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:38 ] Baillif > i mean what the heck is that about
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:49 ] haav0c > erm…
[ 2010.03.08 02:44:03 ] haav0c > “omg wrecks…cheap salvage boat, cheap salvage boat…”
[ 2010.03.08 02:44:20 ] haav0c > “shuttle….something w/ AB… there, tristan!”
[ 2010.03.08 02:44:49 ] Baillif > my line of thinking was more along the lines of ooh buzzard on scan get the pvp gu
[ 2010.03.08 02:44:59 ] Baillif > and pray he shows up with reinforcements
[ 2010.03.08 02:45:06 ] haav0c > lol
[ 2010.03.08 02:45:16 ] haav0c > “i don’t wanna lose my buzzard, cheap ship, cheap ship…”
[ 2010.03.08 02:45:53 ] haav0c > i’m not much of a fighter.
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:04 ] Baillif > gasser?
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:12 ] haav0c > industrialists 😛
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:19 ] Baillif > ah
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:19 ] haav0c > industrialist
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:28 ] haav0c > people cover my ass and i give them iskies 😛
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:44 ] haav0c > and by people i mean the thanatos closing the connecting WH.
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:19 ] Baillif > perhaps i should bring additional reinforcements
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:27 ] Baillif > you better be quick
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:30 ] Baillif > we almost have you
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:38 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:56 ] haav0c > i can say with complete honesty.
[ 2010.03.08 02:48:06 ] haav0c > if you managed to get through all five WHs.
[ 2010.03.08 02:48:11 ] haav0c > especially the one w/ 30 sigs.
[ 2010.03.08 02:48:20 ] haav0c > then you deserve to pod the crap outta us.

We close the WH. Carrier FTW

[ 2010.03.08 02:49:51 ] haav0c > and….gone.
[ 2010.03.08 02:50:21 ] Baillif > better be the truth because we are coming to verify
[ 2010.03.08 02:50:28 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.03.08 02:50:39 ] haav0c > you’ve caught me.
[ 2010.03.08 02:51:04 ] haav0c > this has all been a ploy to distract you from scanning us, we love in a C4 and you’re in a perfect position to play havoc with us.
[ 2010.03.08 02:51:49 ] Baillif > im notthe one scanning so well yeah
[ 2010.03.08 02:53:28 ] Baillif > hes got nothing better to do
[ 2010.03.08 02:53:31 ] haav0c > egad, we never anticipated a second person involved.

[ 2010.03.08 02:56:31 ] Baillif > anyway alliances your size have highsec people thats always the case
[ 2010.03.08 02:57:11 ] Baillif > cant find an alliance full of people that can stomach whspace full time
[ 2010.03.08 02:57:23 ] haav0c > that’s great. i’ll be sure to inform all 2 of em that i’ve caused a wardec.
[ 2010.03.08 02:57:35 ] Baillif > nah dont admit it we dont want ya kicked

Lying through my teeth hoping he doesn’t dec our alliance, which we just joined and is in fact nullsec/highsec/lowsec.

[ 2010.03.08 02:59:55 ] haav0c > so, yeah, be sure to call the campain, if you start one, “we did this over 6 mil of salvage we later got back”
[ 2010.03.08 03:03:12 ] Baillif > ah so you did close it
[ 2010.03.08 03:03:14 ] Baillif > tsk tsk

[ 2010.03.08 03:21:30 ] Baillif > well honestly id have come in a ceptor had i not suspected you had backup
[ 2010.03.08 03:22:28 ] haav0c > /emote pales
[ 2010.03.08 03:22:31 ] Baillif > tengu not exactly the best ship for that job
[ 2010.03.08 03:22:52 ] haav0c > you locked me hella fast, but ya
[ 2010.03.08 03:23:40 ] Baillif > its a good boat
[ 2010.03.08 03:23:47 ] Baillif > id fight like 2-3 bs at once with it
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:29 ] haav0c > powerful ship.
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:38 ] haav0c > have you had that bug w/ the maint arary?
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:40 ] haav0c > array*
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:49 ] Baillif > yes thats why it took me a while to get out there
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:49 ] haav0c > w/ the bonus not being applied?
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:52 ] Baillif > had ot restart
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:53 ] haav0c > >. someone told me its only happening in wormhole poses
[ 2010.03.08 03:25:24 ] Baillif > but im not sure if thats true or not
[ 2010.03.08 03:25:31 ] haav0c > i’ve heard that too
[ 2010.03.08 03:25:40 ] haav0c > but that could just be cause most t3s are in whs…
[ 2010.03.08 03:26:02 ] Baillif > yeah its pretty ideal out here
[ 2010.03.08 03:26:06 ] Baillif > already killed 7 of em
[ 2010.03.08 03:26:14 ] haav0c > heh

Sorry Quivering, it’s hard to sympathize with your T3 troubles when they save my ass.