No, I’m not dead. (just sleeping)

I’m just making stupid small girly posts until I can finish roofing the house and getting college sorted.

Anyway, CSM:

I voted for Teadaze. Considering Mynxee has been advertising herself in every channel I frequent, has been endorsed and voted for by a good percentile of bloggers and has the backing of NOIR alliance, I’d say she doesn’t need my vote. I’m having a few misgivings, though, mostly because my literature teacher (who I will never see again) was a conspiracy theorist, which is scarily easy to apply to Eve. Take the deep safe nerf, for example.

The best way to get something done that people will hate is to do something worse, then downplay it to what you actually need. I.E., you start haggling at a stupidly low amount and word up from there, getting you the best deal while the other person, if they’re inexperienced, thinks they got a good deal too.

Btw, I can’t haggle for shite.

Anyway, CCP initially said “We’re removing deep saves and kasploding anything still in them. ALL THE SHIPS GO BOOM and btw it’s going to be a 20 au limit.”

The responding forum thread and mini-threads around it demanded, with reason, that could CCP please think about maybe not doing this, because we’ve gotten awful used to that mechanic and would really rather mind you didn’t mess with it quite so thoroughly.

Fun activity: remove two-thirds the words at random, remove the vowels, and replace half the remaining letters with numbers and you’ll have the typical forum post.

Anyway, CCP responded with the well-read by now devblog titled “whoopsie”, in which they said “omg, the players have beaten us, no longer shall we explode ships, we shall only MOVE them!”

Btw, I can be quoted as saying that this is exactly what would happen.

Now, I can understand the deep safe nerf. Eve is a shooting game, where half the player base likes shooting things and the other half would rather they stop shooting them. It was a workaround for various sticky situations where you could get shot at when you’d really rather not be, and the shooters complained, justly. But look at my train of logic:

I am an average Eve player.
I don’t have a supercapital ship.
I plan to have a supercapital ship.
Supercapital ships are expensive.
Non-supercapital ships are less expensive than supercapital ships.
I have friends in Eve that I have shared contact information with in case of emergencies (through third party software of course, completely in accordance of the EULA).

Thus, we conclude that the average Eve player, by the time he or she has a supercapital or similar expensive ship, will have friends who play Eve and can contact them through third party means if someone happened to, say, nerf deep safes.

The second train:

Only experienced players know how to make deep safes.
Experienced players are experienced, and usually have friends with (see sentence in previous chain).
Experienced players usually fly expensive ships.

Thus, through math rules I don’t usually understand, experienced players who know about deep safes have friends who could contact them through third party means if someone happened to, say, nerf deep safes.

Final train:

New people could be warped to deep safes.
New people do not generally have expensive possessions.
When new players quit, they do not usually intend in coming back, as they’ve generally gone back to whatever they were enjoying before.
The only ways that a new player could have expensive ships is through charity or PLEXes, in both cases they didn’t earn the item and thus don’t appreciate the value.
New players do not have many friends, or contact information for said friends.

Thus, the only people extremely financially affected by the “we’re gonna splode ships, o wait no nevermind” are either people who don’t appreciate the stuff they have, have no friends they had so much fun with they left their contact information when they stopped playing, or people who stopped playing, and all their friends stopped playing as well.

So, on the main point again, CCP still nerfed deep safes as planned, but I’ll wager that quite a few less people complained. And, as Teadaze, a CSM member at the time, can be quoted as saying, at the time, “At the very least we want them to just move the ships”.

So, our final conclusion is that either there’s a grand CCP crowd-control conspiracy that extends over the CSM and the forums, or Teadaze cares about people who care so little about Eve they stopped playing while in a deep safe spot, had no in-game friends, and didn’t really like Eve anyway.

In closing, the third option of my life being a computer-controlled nightmare game played by beings of the fourth dimension because their hyperdimensional lives lack flavor is still a distinct possibility, which I will stop believing once it stops making perfect sense. If anyone needs me, I’ll be interrogating my keyboard to see if it knows more than it should.

Edit: The devious bastard refused to talk, and is now locked in the closet with my coke can collection, wrestling trophy and spare blanket, who also refused to speak.