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No, I’m not dead. (just sleeping)

I’m just making stupid small girly posts until I can finish roofing the house and getting college sorted.

Anyway, CSM:

I voted for Teadaze. Considering Mynxee has been advertising herself in every channel I frequent, has been endorsed and voted for by a good percentile of bloggers and has the backing of NOIR alliance, I’d say she doesn’t need my vote. I’m having a few misgivings, though, mostly because my literature teacher (who I will never see again) was a conspiracy theorist, which is scarily easy to apply to Eve. Take the deep safe nerf, for example.

The best way to get something done that people will hate is to do something worse, then downplay it to what you actually need. I.E., you start haggling at a stupidly low amount and word up from there, getting you the best deal while the other person, if they’re inexperienced, thinks they got a good deal too.

Btw, I can’t haggle for shite.

Anyway, CCP initially said “We’re removing deep saves and kasploding anything still in them. ALL THE SHIPS GO BOOM and btw it’s going to be a 20 au limit.”

The responding forum thread and mini-threads around it demanded, with reason, that could CCP please think about maybe not doing this, because we’ve gotten awful used to that mechanic and would really rather mind you didn’t mess with it quite so thoroughly.

Fun activity: remove two-thirds the words at random, remove the vowels, and replace half the remaining letters with numbers and you’ll have the typical forum post.

Anyway, CCP responded with the well-read by now devblog titled “whoopsie”, in which they said “omg, the players have beaten us, no longer shall we explode ships, we shall only MOVE them!”

Btw, I can be quoted as saying that this is exactly what would happen.

Now, I can understand the deep safe nerf. Eve is a shooting game, where half the player base likes shooting things and the other half would rather they stop shooting them. It was a workaround for various sticky situations where you could get shot at when you’d really rather not be, and the shooters complained, justly. But look at my train of logic:

I am an average Eve player.
I don’t have a supercapital ship.
I plan to have a supercapital ship.
Supercapital ships are expensive.
Non-supercapital ships are less expensive than supercapital ships.
I have friends in Eve that I have shared contact information with in case of emergencies (through third party software of course, completely in accordance of the EULA).

Thus, we conclude that the average Eve player, by the time he or she has a supercapital or similar expensive ship, will have friends who play Eve and can contact them through third party means if someone happened to, say, nerf deep safes.

The second train:

Only experienced players know how to make deep safes.
Experienced players are experienced, and usually have friends with (see sentence in previous chain).
Experienced players usually fly expensive ships.

Thus, through math rules I don’t usually understand, experienced players who know about deep safes have friends who could contact them through third party means if someone happened to, say, nerf deep safes.

Final train:

New people could be warped to deep safes.
New people do not generally have expensive possessions.
When new players quit, they do not usually intend in coming back, as they’ve generally gone back to whatever they were enjoying before.
The only ways that a new player could have expensive ships is through charity or PLEXes, in both cases they didn’t earn the item and thus don’t appreciate the value.
New players do not have many friends, or contact information for said friends.

Thus, the only people extremely financially affected by the “we’re gonna splode ships, o wait no nevermind” are either people who don’t appreciate the stuff they have, have no friends they had so much fun with they left their contact information when they stopped playing, or people who stopped playing, and all their friends stopped playing as well.

So, on the main point again, CCP still nerfed deep safes as planned, but I’ll wager that quite a few less people complained. And, as Teadaze, a CSM member at the time, can be quoted as saying, at the time, “At the very least we want them to just move the ships”.

So, our final conclusion is that either there’s a grand CCP crowd-control conspiracy that extends over the CSM and the forums, or Teadaze cares about people who care so little about Eve they stopped playing while in a deep safe spot, had no in-game friends, and didn’t really like Eve anyway.

In closing, the third option of my life being a computer-controlled nightmare game played by beings of the fourth dimension because their hyperdimensional lives lack flavor is still a distinct possibility, which I will stop believing once it stops making perfect sense. If anyone needs me, I’ll be interrogating my keyboard to see if it knows more than it should.

Edit: The devious bastard refused to talk, and is now locked in the closet with my coke can collection, wrestling trophy and spare blanket, who also refused to speak.

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The not-so-great deep safe analysis.

Before I start, if anyone reading this sees TeaDaze, tell him I said “I told you so”.

Early on, when we were still drafting plans for mining in the static C5, one of the major problems was that hauling the ore through the connecting WH would slowly whittle down the mass to the point that we might not be able to fit the Hulks, Orca, ectera back through, condeming them to a lifetime of trying to build a scan probe launcher out of spare parts, and when that failed, crashing each ship into a separate planet and re-creating civilization, prospering on individual planets until inter-planet contact is established, at which point a war is sparked. This commits each population to the destruction of the other, draining each planet of resources to construct vessels of war, which are launched into space only to be loaded onto my Orca, and shipped to Jita while holoreels of old spaceship battles are shipped back to the population, with all news networks carefully manipulated to keep the war going indefinitely…..

Wait, sorry, that’s my Tyrannis plan. Anyway, an alternate solution of making a deep, deep safespot and having the rorqual compress ore on site in safety was one of our “really good ideas”, which, unfortunately, will soon be impossible since to the disabling of said exploit, which is at the top of CCP’s “fix now” list, instead of some other things that I remember being upset about but apparently I’m not passionate enough about to remember. The one legitimate reason for nerfing deep safes I’ve heard so far are some people in null are putting their Dominion shoot-me-to-take-system thingys way out there making warping to them difficult. Oh, and it’s an exploit.

The more enjoyable explanation, in my opinion, is that CCP is trying to discourage blob warfare by making it unfeasible from a lag standpoint, encouraging hit-and-run groups attacking several strategic areas instead of 300 man cap fleets eliminating everything so fast they redefine the word “superior firepower”. But hey, that’s just the ramblings of someone who thinks a bit too much into these things.

The 20 AU limit seems fair, as the only non-exploiting way to get that far now is flying an interceptor in the preferred direction for several years, the major point being that there is no longer anywhere convenient to stuff a large cap fleet while their grid loads. See aforementioned conspiracy theory.

Anyway, cataclysmic variable did a much more serious analysis, but I disagree on his conclusion that “We have the power to change this game”.

The end result, deep safes unusable, is still going to happen. We’ve managed to achieve “we’ll move the ships” instead of “we’ll blow up the ships”, but there is still no-where to park a supercapital and there still will be no way to exit out mid-warp when you realize you’re warping into a gatecamp/death. You can say “we changed things”, but really, what’s different? The five people who quit Eve while in a safespot and didn’t leave any contact information with friends lose a ship that they apparently don’t care about.

It will still be impossible to fight on a grandiose scale without lag occurring, and now grid loading issues will be crippling because when a cyno is lit in a system with a defending fleet, the defending fleet will warp to that cyno, the attacking fleet will have grid load issues, ectera.

So, the three options are either have the attacking fleet in system BEFORE the defending fleet, or attack several points at once, or don’t use blobs. See CCP Conspiracy theory. Also, it’s probably worth noting that on all the forum’s I’ve read, the devs only respond to questions not including the phrase “Fix the lag before you fix deep safes”. COINCIDENCE?

Also, CCP has THREE letters, but only TWO Cs. COINCIDENCE? I think NOT!

The Icelandic volcano has shut down European air travel the same day deep safe nerfs were announced. COINCIDENCE?

I’m hungry, so I shall go make a sandwich. COINCIDENCE?