Screw you, Murphy

I should be doing physics II questions right now.

Anywho, back in WH space, I’ve had a bit of a snag. By which I mean several snags.

By which I mean if I didn’t know better I’d swear I was intentionally screwing up just to have something to post about.

Which I’m not. Pinky promise.

Anywho, to shoot the most NPCs in nullsec, I have two alts trained up to domis and not much else. They can use t2 RR, t2 energy xferr, some drones and that’s it. I’m not entirely sure if I bothered to pick up gun skills at any point. Oh, and they fly itty Vs and (in another week or three) will have perfect learning skills in preparation for “operation triple character carrier”.

If anyone can think of something to do with multiboxing three carriers please let me know as I honestly haven’t thought it out past “OMG 45 DRONES”.

Anyway, this is becoming a bit of an issue in a wormhole as anything bigger than a cruiser requires more reps than Eve’s public image after a typical dev post in the forums is met by a truckload of people who appreciate that they’re working on lag, they’d just rather they work on it a bit harder.

Coupled with the fact that the warp-in points SOMEHOW always spit you out 70km or more away from the actual sleepers who seem to be exploiting that AHARM C6 with reckless abandon.

So, you’ve got the equivalent of walking towards someone half a mile away at a brisk pace while he shoots at you with a handgun with perfect range the entire time and you can only hit about ten feet in front of you because you’re holding five or six riot shields and throwing duct tape at your friend to patch the holes the guy is shooting.

This is irritating as I somehow perfectly calculated my tank to be EXACTLY however much DPS sleepers tend to do, so I’m constantly sweating and cursing as my armor has made such a frequent habit of dropping into hull I’m not sure how much of the original armor remains as compared to whatever the hell RRs actually do to the ship they’re repairing.

So, to fix this whole brisk walk towards man with a sniper rifle issue, I’m using a zephyr to get myself warp-in points about 500m away from the BS, whaling the crap out of them, then warping away, zephyr, repeat, hooray.

In my latest use of this strategy, I was in a mostly cruiser wave. Not wanting to warp in and out and such, I dropped a cap recharger and fitted an AB to each battleship. Warp in, turn on the ABs and start approaching the sole remaining BS. It goes down, and these three annoying warp scramming frigs show up.

Fully prepared for the situation, I launched my hobgoblin IIs and made a humorous comment in WH colonists:

haav0c > “Hello, warp scrambling frigs. Meet tiny whirring balls of hobgoblin death”

God, I’m so witty. Unfortunately I was so busy thinking “crap, Murphy’s Law now states that I cannot possibly survive this wave as I have already predicted its successful outcome” to notice that my ships had drifted/ ABed away from each other at top speed and were now upwards of 10km from each other.

For those who don’t know, the range of an RR module is something like 6-8km. I don’t remember, but the important thing is it’s less than 10km by a good 2km or more. Now, I want you to imagine a scenario:

You are taking heavy fire in a battleship and are traveling at top speed (200m/s) in the x direction. If your tank will only hold for another 20 seconds without RR, will you survive if you are currently traveling towards your RR partner?

Will you survive if you are traveling at top speed in EXACTLY THE WRONG DIRECTION?

Will you survive if you are traveling at top speed in exactly the wrong direction and in your haste you forget to turn the afterburner off?

Will you survive if you are traveling at top speed in exactly the wrong direction, you forgot to turn off the AB AND you are currently in a Black Hole C4 wormhole? (+44% inertia)?

For those of you reaching for a book on Eve physics and a pencil, I can save you some time and reveal that the scenario in which everything has gone horribly wrong will result in one destroyed RR BS while three warp scrambling frigs, unamused by the hobgoblin tomfoolery, are still alive. Consequently, the other RR BS follows, followed by the DPS BS.

SO.

After half an hour of an entertaining movie and picking up my loot and the destroyed sleeper’s loot 10 m3 at a time in a zephyr, I check my fuel levels.

20 hours of coolant, enriched uranium and nitrogen isotopes left.

Ok, that’s manageable, I can scan a route in that time, I just need to force collapse some WHs with my Orca and BS.

*Inner Voice* what BS?

…that pile of metal over there.

*Inner Voice* surrounded by the angry sleepers?

Yup.

*Inner Voice* good luck with that.

I hate you.

So, after two hours of collapsing our static C4 which seems to only be heavily occupied and/or leading to C5s, C6s or more effing C5s, It’s the last pass of the Orca through a X-something-something-something WH to close it so I can scan another useless WH and then preferably find another, better one.

Again, up goes the witty comment, this time in the local chat I will soon be separated from and never see again, ever.

haav0c > DIE WH DIE!

Once again, just as I said that, I thought of Murphy’s Law. Then, once again, I jumped through with the AB on just to make sure that my eight passes (with a 250 mil mass ship) would collapse this hole (2 bil mass).

As you can probably guess, it didn’t effing close.

With corp mates complaining about the fuel alerts and 18 hours of fuel left, I make an executive decision. Since all I have left is some itty Vs, GSCs and destroyers/scan frigs, I stuff everything in the Orca, offline the tower and logoff.

It is an incredibly short term solution but is also viable for long term, assuming no-one bashes it. As to you people bashing it, why in all the hells would you bash a tower with nothing possible to be gained from it?

Anywho, I’ll keep looking for a BS capable route while studying for the Physics test Tuesday. Electric potential energy and all related constants and variables are jerks.


POS Defense in Wormholes C1-6

Not so recently, CCRES came into our wormhole, noticed an orca floating in the shields, killed all our defences and reinforced our tower in case we had forgotten to put strontium in a tower in a dread-accepting enviroment.

The fact that they felt that the lack of strontium was a possibility makes me lose a little faith in the foresight of the Eve wormhole community.

Recently, I was contacted by a CCRES member who told me that they put the PoS into reinforced mostly for fun. Acting on various word cues in his description, I managed to decypher THIS message:

“Our reason was far grander than a petty Orca and what we had in the corp hangar, for the legendary tales of your pvp prowess and twisted cunning in use of cloaky ships was so utterly terrifying that we could not just close the connecting WH but attacked your tower in hopes that having their ships destroyed by your considerable defenses, THEN closing the connecting WH with what few ships remained would be the only way to appease your unquantifiable wrath. Unfortunately, the tower’s defenses had been mostly offlined and unanchored into the corp hangar due to a spy, who after his two year infiltration campaign only now had the courage to act on his orders to mildly inconvenience you, then immediately killed himself out of fear and shame. We were thus forced to put the inconvenienced tower into full reinforced, to better reflect it’s former armed glory until a point in the future where you could reanchor your powerful and majestic defenses.”

Anyway, we had the full compliment so they settled for sending us a mail essentially saying:
“Hey, we put your pos in reinforced looking for free ships, you should probably try this configuration next time”
(For those interested they recommended dickstar)

After the reinforced timer ended we repped the PoS in a rorqual, orca and a few BSs which got MUCH faster once we realized the ending of reinforced meant that we could access the cap rechargers, power relays and energy xfer arrays in the corp hangar.

Anyway, this shite got me thinking. Wormhole territory is fast becoming a shifting battlefield. PoS takedowns, once the product of Amarr BS fleets that passed out at their keyboards firing at abandoned structures, are becoming more frequent and frankly, kinda alarming. Between a friend of mine getting attacked by two dreads w/ BS support fleet, Planet Risk owning then being owned by R&K, and CCRES’s “Stront check” of our PoS, I’d like to give an overview of PoS defense in a wormhole:

You’re screwed.

Here’s a little more detailed and less cynical view:

C1:
Size restrictions allow only battlecruiser hulls or smaller, but know that haulers, which can hold cap parts, large towers, fuel, x-large ship assembly arrays and everything else required to build a dread to kill your PoSes, can.
Recommended defenses:
Small guns, some medium guns anchored but not online. BC hulls or smaller usually means your only attackers will have poor dps, so hardeners are recommended. By the time they’ve built a dread you should already be gone >.>

C2-C3
Battleships are allowed in here, good for sites, bad when someone hates you, has a route to you and has a BS fleet handy can be a significant threat to your well-being. Build a carrier and rent/own/know someone who has a carrier pilot handy to scare off/murder/ambush attackers.
C4-C6
Carriers are “allowed” to jump in here, hence you should be prepared. Don’t ask me how, we still haven’t come up with a a counter to a carrier/dread with support fleet.

Essentially, the deeper you go, the more likley you are to be screwed, because the less time attackers have to invest in beating you into the ground. A battlecruiser takedown of a PoS is torture, a BS takedown isn’t much fun, and a dread-assisted takedown is about less than an hour, so an attacker’s time invested in making your life a living hell is much less than what it took for you to get two capitals, orcas, and the other thirty ships you’ve amassed over several months into the wormhole.

Point is, if someone wants you out of a specific hole, they can motivate you to get out. If you fit guns, they’ll wait for your offtime and have RR gangs. If you fit ECM, they’ll bring a dread and sensor boosters. If you go full hardeners, they’ll bring a dread again. If you find the most amazing awesome pos configuration ever, they’ll just starve you of fuel. They can activate all your sites with a scan ship every morning, camp your static, build a dread, any number of things in mind to make you think “boy, I wish they weren’t here or I wasn’t here”. The best defence, IMO, is two fold:

The first and more reasonable method is to have several friends and/or piles of isk to hire several friends. Eve is a spreadsheet game, but is refreshingly simple in combat calculations, which usually amount to “Whoever has the most experienced friends wins”.

The method that, us lacking large groups of friends and a general sense of comradery, is to be ready to be gone. Write the PoS off as already dead, and have the expensive gear in capital ships/industrials. When, not if, WHEN you get attacked by a superior force move to a deep safe you’ve created before deep safes were nerfed(before May 18), and/or make a safe in system and logoff in it. Then, scan your static, which, since you’ve been preparing for this exact situation for a while, goes to a C4 or higher WH and will close exactly after you pass your entire operation through it, once it’s been shoved into cap ships/orcas. If said static has a static C4 or higher, move in, setup the backup pos and either rebuild there or go through the next static.

The third method, that dedicated people of eve will probably do, and do better than me, is to want the hole more. Have an Orca/carrier cloak in system w/ lots of SB hulls, scan ships hulls, and fits. Get 5-10 people in. Proceed to activate every site after downtime, bomb the static periodically and generally make whoever tried to take your hole/lives in the hole you want wish they’d never heard of a local-lacking environment. Take 200 combat scan probes, launch seven, cloak. Repeat every 2 hours or so. Eventually, they will leave. Wait a week. If they come back, do it all again, if they don’t, setup a small pos and put a maint array/hangar in it. Have one big ship and one small ship for each pilot. Pilots logoff in big ships w/ scan ships/SBs in orca and CHEAP haulers/other ships in the small tower’s maint array. Don’t bother putting anything in the small tower’s corp hangar, as anyone who finds it will try to put it into reinforced, making removal of the stuff difficult. Don’t worry about defenses, again, if someone wants the tower dead, it’s dead. Make sure to have stront, and if the dudes come back lookin for trouble, unanchor the pos (using a cheap hauler w/ SB support), stuff it in the Orca and go back to step one. Repeat as necessary until they stop coming back and you feel safe enough to anchor a large pos and/or keep living out of orcas/capitals. Use any spare orcas/carriers to collapse the static at inoppertune times, and restock your equipment (using cheap haulers) at 5 am their time and/or downtime. Bubble the static and cloak SBs nearby.

People attack your wormhole because they’ve either been hired to do it, they want your sites, or they’re just bored. The bored will leave, the hired will eventually stop working for the hirer, and the people that want your sites won’t get your sites because you activated all the sites every downtime. An Orca, a few scan ships and SBs w/ fits is not expensive at all compared to WH sites, so you can make their lives irritating w/ very little expense on your end. The person who wins will eventually either be the person/people who get bored first. Or, someone runs out of money. Who’s gonna run out of money first, the people w/ covops cloaks or the people who can’t cloak while they fight sleepers or mine?


I think I’m playing the wrong game.

I’ve taken a look around, at other blog posts and players all bragging about corp theft, ninja salvaging, looting and ganking. I then looked at my kill statistics (0 kills 54 losses). Then back at everything else. Then back at my losses (2 bil in assets lost).

I’m starting to get the feeling that I’m too damn nice. A few weeks ago, I’m running a site in my C1, in my trusty passive drake. A hurricane opens fire on me with a SB supporting. Knowing that there’s no way I’ll get the hurricane (probably pvp specced) down, I open fire on the SB and get it down to structure before it warps out. Drake explodes, pod to pos. Wait an hour, get out, get a new drake, refit, get back into PoS.

A few hours later a dude, from the same corp that killed me, asks in local for an exit. At this point, the general idea of Eve would be to get him to warp into a bubble w/ my drake and blast him to bits with extreme vindication. I fleet with him and warp him to my highsec exit and wish him a nice day.

I can just HEAR my collective audience sighing right now.

Similarly, we’re in the C6 running ore out through a 5 WH route to highsec when we spot a raven on directional. Combat ships, start scanning for him. I open a convo and offer him an exit after we finish the ore. Which we give him, no charge or anything.

A week ago, I’m scanning a route. I pin our static, warp to it, cloak, get involved with an argument with Blake that lasts half an hour. WH flash. Sentinel uncloaks on WH and launches probes. I convo him, he’s lost and has been trying to find an exit from W-space for a week, but is convinced that our WH, despite him coming through the static, has another WH in it.

I remind all of you that this is a C6, the deepest possible WH that no-one should come into by accident. The wormhole info says “deadly”, for crying out loud!

I go into the WH that he’s just come out of and scan a lowsec WH in under five minutes, warp him to it, then collapse our static just in case he was actually an attacker.

Yesterday, we’re just chillin.
OMG SISTER COMBAT PROBES
No longer chilling.
The other person online at the time goes offline for reasons that definitely weren’t fear and terror, and I wait, for an hour, watching the directional to see what happens.

The scan probes stay on directional… and stay there…. So, either the user has forgotten he’s launched them or one of our six signatures is giving a horrible time. Eventually, I ask in local

haav -> Dude, you’ve had probes out for the last hour and a half, wth?
dude -> sorry i lost

Another dude…lost… I find him an exit.

Anyrate, here’s the crowning moment of my stupidity:

We’ve got like a day or two of nitrogen isotopes left. I’m scanning a route, it’s about ten at night. After three WHs, I get a C4.

Twenty five sigs.

After scanning twenty-three signetures, I find a WH. Joy upon joys, it goes to a C4. Pop through, wrecks on the directional. I warp to the anomalies, fourth one has wrecks in it, meaning that someone was JUST there killing and is getting his salvage alt, probably.

Conscious of the fact that any person running C4s has several friends, I log my alt on, shove her in a tristan w/ an AB fitted, warp her through the route and start looting, approaching wrecks, selecting a planet and hovering over the “warp to” button. Eight wrecks, my parinoa overwhelms me at about the same time I finish the last wreck within 34km. Not pushing my luck, I engage warp. As I warp out, a tengu lands on grid. Typing “I regret nothing” in local, I jump through the WH I came through in both ships, and burn space-rubber back towards home.

I get through about… three wormholes before this train of through hits me:
“This is about 6-8 mil of salvage”
“This is a trivial amount for me”
“I’m planning on running C4 anomalies”
“I’d hate it if this happened to me”

Guilt hits me, I transfer the stolen lewt to the buzzard, tristan back to pos, buzzard back to the C4. I warp to the anomaly within 100km, the tengu is sitting there, 70km away from me. I apologize in local, jettison a can w/ the stuff and start warping off.

He gets two salvos off on my buzzard and drops me to armor before I warp out. As I warp to the wormhole, he types in local:

“wardec inc TBH”

I jump through the WH, burn home, and open convo w/ the dude.

[ 2010.03.08 02:28:39 ] haav0c > so you’re wardeccing us because i jetted some of your lewts 70km away?
[ 2010.03.08 02:29:07 ] haav0c > i mean christ, man, i gave the shit back.
[ 2010.03.08 02:29:24 ] haav0c > what would you have done if i had kept it? double wardecced us?
[ 2010.03.08 02:30:42 ] Baillif > ya see the fun thing about wh corps is
[ 2010.03.08 02:30:47 ] Baillif > people will give up your locations
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:00 ] Baillif > in this case its a fair bit easier since i already have a cov ops in your hole
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:05 ] Baillif > so i dont have to spend isk
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:19 ] Baillif > we already know c4

I think he’s referring to the C4 I was scanning in. Or maybe the second C4. idk.

[ 2010.03.08 02:31:26 ] haav0c > erm.
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:40 ] Baillif > or maybe not another one in there
[ 2010.03.08 02:31:44 ] Baillif > no matter we will find that one too
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:14 ] haav0c > and you’re gonna go to all this over…2 mil of salvage?
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:22 ] haav0c > which I gave back?
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:28 ] Baillif > well we enjoy killing anyway
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:32 ] haav0c > alright.
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:44 ] Baillif > doubly so since we are irritated
[ 2010.03.08 02:32:45 ] haav0c > so this is the typical “we’ll kill you on sight” mentality?
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:07 ] Baillif > something like that
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:15 ] haav0c > so…typical WH attitude?
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:21 ] Baillif > pretty much
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:24 ] haav0c > good to know we’re on the same page.
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:43 ] haav0c > have fun w/ the 33 sig C4.
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:52 ] haav0c > http://www.staticmapper.com may help.

Insert shameless plug here.

[ 2010.03.08 02:33:54 ] Baillif > wh sigs are big
[ 2010.03.08 02:33:57 ] Baillif > specially k162s
[ 2010.03.08 02:34:05 ] haav0c > mmhm.
[ 2010.03.08 02:34:45 ] haav0c > how big are they once you pass a carrier or two through?
[ 2010.03.08 02:35:16 ] Baillif > why would you go and do a thing like that
[ 2010.03.08 02:35:35 ] haav0c > because you scare the hell outta me?
[ 2010.03.08 02:35:53 ] haav0c > no more than any other person who’s opened fire on me, admitted.
[ 2010.03.08 02:36:29 ] Baillif > regrettably you were not within precision missile range
[ 2010.03.08 02:36:44 ] haav0c > could you have switched in time?
[ 2010.03.08 02:37:03 ] Baillif > if you were in precision range you wouldnt have been leaving for other reasons
[ 2010.03.08 02:37:09 ] Baillif > so yeah
[ 2010.03.08 02:37:27 ] haav0c > yup.
[ 2010.03.08 02:38:08 ] Baillif > admittedly that was the most hilarious thing another corp has done in a while
[ 2010.03.08 02:38:09 ] haav0c > well, next time i give shit back i won’t stop to abandon the can XD
[ 2010.03.08 02:38:16 ] haav0c > i try XD
[ 2010.03.08 02:38:34 ] Baillif > but i have killed for less
[ 2010.03.08 02:39:05 ] haav0c > you almost killed for just that.
[ 2010.03.08 02:39:12 ] haav0c > and i’ve died for less.
[ 2010.03.08 02:39:28 ] haav0c > wishing a nullsec fleet a “good morning” tops that list.

All the while I’m texing the carrier pilot
“Need closing power ASAP”

[ 2010.03.08 02:40:55 ] haav0c > btw, if you have any covops in our hole
[ 2010.03.08 02:41:05 ] haav0c > they have… 2 minutes tops.
[ 2010.03.08 02:41:13 ] Baillif > ill be sure to let him know
[ 2010.03.08 02:41:30 ] haav0c > there i go again, being fucking polite.
[ 2010.03.08 02:42:57 ] haav0c > well, for what it’s worth, i’m really, really sorry i delayed your isk making by all of thirty seconds.
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:04 ] haav0c > how could i have been so foolish.
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:06 ] Baillif > lol
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:26 ] Baillif > youc ould ahve at least came in combat ships and made it fun
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:38 ] Baillif > i mean what the heck is that about
[ 2010.03.08 02:43:49 ] haav0c > erm…
[ 2010.03.08 02:44:03 ] haav0c > “omg wrecks…cheap salvage boat, cheap salvage boat…”
[ 2010.03.08 02:44:20 ] haav0c > “shuttle….something w/ AB… there, tristan!”
[ 2010.03.08 02:44:49 ] Baillif > my line of thinking was more along the lines of ooh buzzard on scan get the pvp gu
[ 2010.03.08 02:44:59 ] Baillif > and pray he shows up with reinforcements
[ 2010.03.08 02:45:06 ] haav0c > lol
[ 2010.03.08 02:45:16 ] haav0c > “i don’t wanna lose my buzzard, cheap ship, cheap ship…”
[ 2010.03.08 02:45:53 ] haav0c > i’m not much of a fighter.
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:04 ] Baillif > gasser?
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:12 ] haav0c > industrialists 😛
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:19 ] Baillif > ah
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:19 ] haav0c > industrialist
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:28 ] haav0c > people cover my ass and i give them iskies 😛
[ 2010.03.08 02:46:44 ] haav0c > and by people i mean the thanatos closing the connecting WH.
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:19 ] Baillif > perhaps i should bring additional reinforcements
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:27 ] Baillif > you better be quick
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:30 ] Baillif > we almost have you
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:38 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.03.08 02:47:56 ] haav0c > i can say with complete honesty.
[ 2010.03.08 02:48:06 ] haav0c > if you managed to get through all five WHs.
[ 2010.03.08 02:48:11 ] haav0c > especially the one w/ 30 sigs.
[ 2010.03.08 02:48:20 ] haav0c > then you deserve to pod the crap outta us.

We close the WH. Carrier FTW

[ 2010.03.08 02:49:51 ] haav0c > and….gone.
[ 2010.03.08 02:50:21 ] Baillif > better be the truth because we are coming to verify
[ 2010.03.08 02:50:28 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.03.08 02:50:39 ] haav0c > you’ve caught me.
[ 2010.03.08 02:51:04 ] haav0c > this has all been a ploy to distract you from scanning us, we love in a C4 and you’re in a perfect position to play havoc with us.
[ 2010.03.08 02:51:49 ] Baillif > im notthe one scanning so well yeah
[ 2010.03.08 02:53:28 ] Baillif > hes got nothing better to do
[ 2010.03.08 02:53:31 ] haav0c > egad, we never anticipated a second person involved.

[ 2010.03.08 02:56:31 ] Baillif > anyway alliances your size have highsec people thats always the case
[ 2010.03.08 02:57:11 ] Baillif > cant find an alliance full of people that can stomach whspace full time
[ 2010.03.08 02:57:23 ] haav0c > that’s great. i’ll be sure to inform all 2 of em that i’ve caused a wardec.
[ 2010.03.08 02:57:35 ] Baillif > nah dont admit it we dont want ya kicked

Lying through my teeth hoping he doesn’t dec our alliance, which we just joined and is in fact nullsec/highsec/lowsec.

[ 2010.03.08 02:59:55 ] haav0c > so, yeah, be sure to call the campain, if you start one, “we did this over 6 mil of salvage we later got back”
[ 2010.03.08 03:03:12 ] Baillif > ah so you did close it
[ 2010.03.08 03:03:14 ] Baillif > tsk tsk

[ 2010.03.08 03:21:30 ] Baillif > well honestly id have come in a ceptor had i not suspected you had backup
[ 2010.03.08 03:22:28 ] haav0c > /emote pales
[ 2010.03.08 03:22:31 ] Baillif > tengu not exactly the best ship for that job
[ 2010.03.08 03:22:52 ] haav0c > you locked me hella fast, but ya
[ 2010.03.08 03:23:40 ] Baillif > its a good boat
[ 2010.03.08 03:23:47 ] Baillif > id fight like 2-3 bs at once with it
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:29 ] haav0c > powerful ship.
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:38 ] haav0c > have you had that bug w/ the maint arary?
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:40 ] haav0c > array*
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:49 ] Baillif > yes thats why it took me a while to get out there
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:49 ] haav0c > w/ the bonus not being applied?
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:52 ] Baillif > had ot restart
[ 2010.03.08 03:24:53 ] haav0c > >. someone told me its only happening in wormhole poses
[ 2010.03.08 03:25:24 ] Baillif > but im not sure if thats true or not
[ 2010.03.08 03:25:31 ] haav0c > i’ve heard that too
[ 2010.03.08 03:25:40 ] haav0c > but that could just be cause most t3s are in whs…
[ 2010.03.08 03:26:02 ] Baillif > yeah its pretty ideal out here
[ 2010.03.08 03:26:06 ] Baillif > already killed 7 of em
[ 2010.03.08 03:26:14 ] haav0c > heh

Sorry Quivering, it’s hard to sympathize with your T3 troubles when they save my ass.


They don’t make em like they used to.

Sometimes, you go into a situation and you know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t let the fact that I myself have never found myself in that scenario from the offset deter you, you’ll eventually find yourself warping into a fleet fight knowing exactly who to primary, why to do it and which board game to pull out once the lag hits.

More often, tho, you’ll enter a scenario that you honestly have no idea how to operate in. This will usually be made painfully obvious when someone who DOES know EXACTLY what the hell they’re doing comes along and tears you to pieces, possibly throwing a free trip back to empire in the process. Smart people learn from this process. Idiots complain.

I’d like to talk about one certain idiot given his explosive comupperance, and for the first time on this blog, it isn’t me. Also for the first time, I wasn’t involved at all except for offering assistance and cheering from the sidelines.

So, yesterday, it’s a typical day in my life:
Channel Name: WSpace Colonists
Listener: Indiego Montoya
Indiego Montoya > burnin fast, burin last, on the long distant road, through the lost mountians endless so far away from hooooooome
Indiego Montoya > de dedede dede dee de de do do do de de de do dedede de do
Indiego Montoya > dee de de de dede dee dee de do do do de dedede dede dededede doooo

When suddenly my perfect rendition of Dragonforce is interrupted by people wanting to talk.

[ 2010.03.01 15:11:53 ] Damark > haav i have serious business
[ 2010.03.01 15:11:59 ] Damark > stop muddying up the channel
[ 2010.03.01 15:12:02 ] Indiego Montoya > omg wai so srs.
[ 2010.03.01 15:12:15 ] Indiego Montoya > wht is ur srz bzns?
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:40 ] Damark > it actually is srs
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:43 ] Damark > so thats not funny
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:48 ] Damark > srs alliance
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:49 ] Indiego Montoya > well, crap on a stick.
[ 2010.03.01 15:13:56 ] Indiego Montoya > that’s not good.

Yes, apparently a serious-sounding alliance had found Damark, a dude who lives in a C3 w/ static highsec and laughs at most of my jokes. Damark came online to his corp’s small tower in reinforced, his true sansha large and other large untouched, and a caldari large not owned by him online in his system, owned by SRS business, some sort of alliance none of us had ever heard of, because we stopped caring about normal space a few months after each of us got into a WH. As per the non-agression pact we have, me and several other corps started informing corp mates, pressing Damark for info and offering ships, isk to hire Noir and gun modules.

It was at about this point that Damark announced that the dude operating the pos had anchored moon mining arrays.

He anchored moon mining arrays.

Moon mining arrays. In a area of space where, to keep nullsec alliances from gaining intrest and other stupid reasons, moon mining is impossible. This was, we had thought, fairly common knowledge. It gets better.

With that one statement, most of us went from talking to merc corps, panicky trying to get Noir(for all your overwhelming force needs!) on the horn, friends in high paces, friends in null places about any assistance they could offer to informing their friends that the dude had just anchored moon mining arrays and having a good laugh.

The dude then anchored cruise missile batteries.

The laughter continued. For the uninformed, cruise missile batteries provide dps on about cruiser level, are the only gun to stop firing once the pos goes into reinforced and can be speed tanked extremely effectively.

He then anchored hardeners, one of each, the first REASONABLE move to make all morning. Damark started checking the fitting on one of his BSs, an armageddon. After a few minutes, where the BS was clearly visible on the directional scanner, he offlines an EM hardener and onlines a second kinetic hardener. This sounds reasonable, until you know that towers have an inherent 25% resist to kinetic, and amarr ships deal EM/thermal.

At this point, we’ve stopped laughing and assume that there’s trickery afoot. No one could be this stupid. At some point, the follwing conversation takes place:
[ 2010.03.01 14:50:18 ] Corpmate > yea youre in my hole
[ 2010.03.01 14:53:39 ] Cpt Kabaal > it could be a good thing if ya were so hostile about it, i mean we are moving in, thats a fact, now we can work things out instead of the alternative
[ 2010.03.01 14:54:20 ] Bizmarcks > or we can destroy your pos and kick you out
[ 2010.03.01 14:54:57 ] Corpmate > yea thats a good alternative
[ 2010.03.01 14:55:16 ] Cpt Kabaal > Its your Choice lol
[ 2010.03.01 16:47:12 ] Bizmarcks > did you finally realise you cant moon mine in here ?
[ 2010.03.01 16:47:15 ] Bizmarcks > this aint null boy

Prompting more laughter, as the one thing WHers can’t stand, besides russians(most of them, can’t speak for everyone) is idiots. But the one thing above that, that will enrage a WH dweller to the point of scorched earth strategy, is when someone starts acting smug and claiming your home as his own.

The second reason that we apologized to our individual friends and that there wasn’t any threat that needed dealing with is that Damark is one of those peculiar paranoid people(90% of eve) that builds carriers in places that mass limitations on WHs forbid carriers from entering.

Thus, with advice from CCRES(thanks guys, you still scare the hell outta us) and SI radio, a Minmatar carrier and five BSs put all the guns into incapacitated, removing the laughable cruiser-sized dps, prompting this convo:

[ 2010.03.02 06:16:25 ] Cpt Kabaal > i sry my ceo hired the mercs to rape you
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:44 ] Damark > lol those were mercs?
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:48 ] Damark > i hope you didnt pay too much
[ 2010.03.02 06:16:59 ] Cpt Kabaal > didnt pay at all actually
[ 2010.03.02 06:18:07 ] Damark > well thanks for explaining this incredibly too easy to explain coincidence
[ 2010.03.02 06:19:34 ] Cpt Kabaal > its not over rest asured

See previous comments about smug idiots.

More bashing. Damark gets convo’ed by the alliance leader.

[ 2010.03.02 03:58:18 ] thebarry > so i’m carebearing in high sec, right?
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:36 ] Damark > and you start getting messages
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:40 ] Damark > saying a POS is under attack?
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:43 ] thebarry > and one of my alliance mates convos me like ‘um, i have a prob, my pos is being attacked’
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:48 ] thebarry > yes!
[ 2010.03.02 03:58:54 ] Damark > yea funny story
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:02 ] Damark > he moved into my hole
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:10 ] thebarry > and now i’ve discovered that the reason you are so motivated
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:13 ] thebarry > is that
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:14 ] thebarry > yes
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:18 ] thebarry > he is in your wh
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:23 ] Damark > yes he sure is
[ 2010.03.02 03:59:26 ] Damark > not for much longer tho

The CEO offers to remove the dude, and Damark requests 400 mil to let him leave peacefully, fully intending to steal the tower. SRS makes the first smart move all day and respectfully declined. Then make another stupid move.

[ 2010.03.02 04:02:46 ] thebarry > i’m sorry it took so long for me to realise it was your wh
[ 2010.03.02 04:02:48 ] thebarry > btw
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:02 ] thebarry > are you guyz interested in joining a new alliance?
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:08 ] thebarry > we could always use mroe help
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:14 ] thebarry > more too
[ 2010.03.02 04:03:57 ] Damark > not as of yet

What the hell are they smoking and can I have some?

An agreement is made and instantly collapses.

[ 2010.03.02 04:11:47 ] thebarry > ok buddy is going to get back to pos to start offlining and unachoring stuff
[ 2010.03.02 04:11:49 ] thebarry > plz dun shoot
[ 2010.03.02 04:12:01 ] Damark > if i have 400mil in my wallet in the next 27min i wont
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:10 ] thebarry > there will be no isk payments, sorry
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:28 ] thebarry > it’s not my pos, and tbh it would teach a valuable lesson
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:47 ] thebarry > i may be tempted to run a viator’s worth of stront to it, tho
[ 2010.03.02 04:14:57 ] thebarry > …just saying
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:12 ] Damark > lol so your saying it has no stront now?
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:14 ] Damark > ahahah
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:22 ] Damark > you shouldnt give this guy anchoring writes
[ 2010.03.02 04:15:50 ] thebarry > hahaha

For the record, it had one hour of strontium.

[ 2010.03.02 04:35:46 ] thebarry > man wtf are you having so many probs with that wh
[ 2010.03.02 04:35:49 ] thebarry > for?
[ 2010.03.02 04:35:54 ] Damark > it was just yesterday
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:01 ] Damark > otehr than yesterday and today its be awesome
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:02 ] Damark > lol
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:09 ] thebarry > haha
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:20 ] thebarry > well, sounds like you could use some alliance buddies to help
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:42 ] Damark > nah
[ 2010.03.02 04:36:53 ] thebarry > just htink, if you were in a alliance you wouldnt have lost the small pos!

You think I’m kidding? Whatever they’re smoking. I wanna have no intelligence whatsoever for the next few hours.

The alliance lead pulls the dude into the private chat.
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:07 ] thebarry > i think his ceo is still in the wh
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:09 ] thebarry > with ships
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:12 ] thebarry > or something
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:22 ] thebarry > he said he apologized to you
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:35 ] Damark > yea and then treatened me
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:39 ] thebarry > this is way too much dramarama for me
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:42 ] Damark > no shit
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:48 ] thebarry > i need to get back to spreadsheets
[ 2010.03.02 06:29:52 ] thebarry > don’t you understand?
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:00 ] Damark > yea man
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:09 ] Damark > and we need to get back to reacting sleeper shit
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:19 ] Damark > and captain needs to get back to moon goo in wh’s
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:26 ] Cpt Kabaal > sry bro
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:40 ] Cpt Kabaal > was just trying to mind my own buissness
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:48 ] Damark > by shitting on my lawn?
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:55 ] thebarry > hahaha
[ 2010.03.02 06:30:59 ] Damark > you dont anchor a pos in an occupied wh
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:02 ] thebarry > GET OFF HIS LAWN PLZ
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:05 ] Damark > unless you are looking for a fight
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:09 ] Damark > we brought one
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:14 ] Damark > and you cried to your alliance head
[ 2010.03.02 06:31:18 ] Damark > deal with it and gtfo

The CEO apologizes for blowing up the small tower, and offers another incentive to join his alliance.

[ 2010.03.02 06:39:21 ] thebarry > what did you lose?
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:25 ] Damark > every amar cruiser bpo and a majority of mislse bpos
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:43 ] Damark > i dunno tbh
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:47 ] Damark > it was a corpies project
[ 2010.03.02 06:40:50 ] Damark > hes rather angry
[ 2010.03.02 06:41:14 ] thebarry > i can imagine
[ 2010.03.02 06:41:23 ] thebarry > listen, we have research pos available

Is this standard alliance policy? Try to beat the crap out of someone, fail, and try to invite them into your alliance?

More threatening…

[ 2010.03.02 07:09:10 ] thebarry > haha
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:19 ] thebarry > i’m trying to save you damark
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:27 ] thebarry > i liek you
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:27 ] Damark > save me from what?
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:31 ] thebarry > you’re funny
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:39 ] thebarry > from nasty ppl
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:40 ] Damark > Noir is the best merc corp in the game
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:44 ] thebarry > i know
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:54 ] Damark > and i have a shit tonne of isk to throw
[ 2010.03.02 07:09:55 ] thebarry > but they arent the only one, just trust me
[ 2010.03.02 07:10:00 ] thebarry > i like you, trying to help

For the record, the two large poses were anchored less than five AU from where he put up his moon mining caldari large.

Damark and his corpies bash the heck outta the large tower, using

1 x Minmitar carrier (cant recall the name)
2x geddon
2x typhoon
1x raven
1x rohk
1x hurricane

Ten boring hours later, it explodes, Rigby Jess and Daedalic omitted cause they passed out a few hours earlier.
http://twinparadox.eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=5957462

tldr, carrier n friends stomp a WH pos into the ground after failed takeover.


February Failmails

I spend a lot of time reviewing killmails so here are some choice fails.

  1. 52.8 B Officer/T2 Erebus (Gallente Titan) link
  2. 155.3 B lowsec Obelisk (Gallente Freighter) link
  3. 2.4 M damage Power Diagnostic System II fitted Thanatos (Gallente Carrier) link
  4. Two SOLODRAKBANSOLODRAKBANSO Anshar’s (Gallente Jump Freighter) killed by their own Alliance’s POS 3.8 B link and 4.4 B link
  5. 7x Warp Core fitted Dominix killed in lowsec link
  6. Heavy Pulse Laser II fitted Dominix link
  7. Phoenix (Caldari Dreadnought) taken out by a POS link
  8. Mixed fit Dominix link
  9. NPC killed Thanatos (Gallente Carrier) link
  10. 3.0 B Charon (Caldari Freighter) link