Quitting corp

God no, I’m not leaving the corp, which I just got director status (thanks caz!).

No, I’d like to talk today about leaving corps in general. For people who expected drama, large ship explosions or corp theft, sorry to disappoint.

We’ve all been there before, sitting in a group of people, and everyone’s laughing and smiling except you. The leader suggests that everyone do something, and everyone but you wholeheartedly agrees, and you don’t want to do it, seeming to leave you with the option of doing something you don’t want but have to do, or leaving and trying to find a group that meets what you want to do.

In Eve, a corp usually has a specific purpose, and then states this purpose openly to attract similarly minded people in order to do the thing together, which is more fun, talking, laughing, ectera.

At some point, you may find yourself at ends with corp policy. Maybe something as small and silly as “no talking in local”, or “no mining during wardecs to keep our losses down”, or something silly or serious that you have a problem with. In this scenario, the first thing you do is to see if you can go along with it. Like, try talking in private convos or rolling an industrial alt. If you just can’t deal with the policies, then bring it up with the CEO. Have meaningful points to support your argument and know his points ahead of time so you don’t walk away from the argument feeling happy and realize something crucially flawed in his principles while making hot tea and ending up spilling it on the cat which then latches onto your leg.

If you just can’t deal with the policies or the people, leaving the corp is certainly an option. Eve is a game. It isn’t your job, it isn’t your childhood friend group, and leaving a corp is not the same drastic change that breaking up with someone in real life is.

If you leave a corp, you leave it because you can’t or don’t want do what they do, or because you hate one or more of the people in it. You can find a new corp, and do what you want to, but the friends in the old corp, that is, if they were really friends and didn’t just like you because you could fly a Rorqual or HIC or falcon, will stay in contact with you. Most corps have private or public channels, and no-one’s banning you from staying in those and talking and laughing with old corpies even as you make new friends.

You should never feel bad about leaving a corp. Unless you stole shit. Jerk. If you didn’t steal shit and you still feel bad about leaving, then there’s some part of the corp you still like and you shouldn’t leave. Simple as that.

Fly with friends that aren’t constrained by the ticker after your name.


I hate lowsec

I wouldn’t call myself a carebear. I live in W-Space, have tried null, tend to take the risky shot over the safe one and usually end up killed for it. Repeatedly.

Anyway, here’s today’s misadventure:
I’m scanning, after the fifth C5 wh, which has a probable C5 static, It’s about 2 am. I plan to go to bed immediately if not sooner, so I launch five probes at 4 AU and two at two AU, overlapping the two twos and a four with the remaining four fours (Say that five times fast). I go round the system, scanning at each planet. Whenever I get a red dot or circle at 10% strength or more, I center the two 2 AU probes on top and rescan, which usually gives me the type, ranging from Ladar(damnit), Radar(argh), Magnetometric(curses!) and Unknown(Yay!).

Anyway, I find a WH on the first sweep and warp to it, K162 from XXdeathXX space, making this our seventh encounter with the Russian kind and our third with XXdeath in particular. The silver lining to this particular vodka-fueled cloud of cryillic-spewing death was that the WH was end of lifetime. Good thing about the end of lifetime, but that usually means that they’ve been here and activated the static some point in the last 24 hours, which will make any route I scan through this system unstable closing-time wise.

More scanning, I find the C5 static and decide to stay in system to check the last planet, partially for a sense of completion and partially because the XXdeath WH had had its stability disrupted a tad, meaning that it had been used rather heavily. Lo and behold, highsec WH.

Inwardly cheering, I grab a skillbook or two, log my freighter alt in and scurry home, updating my alt’s train queues (logistical domi FTW). I then, using the passive income profits, buy about…450 mil worth, which gets me two fitted gang domis, two fitted gang myrms and a dps apocalypse.

(You can’t tell, but I was using the word “DPS ironically, since as of this writing I just barely break 300 dps with a gank-fit apoch. I need to git me sum supportin skills!).

Anyway, three A.M. now, I shove all 300.3k m3 into the freighter, set destination to the highsec system, undock, stop ship, warp to the first gate and start cursing like I’ve walked into a door while simultaniously developing Tourette’s syndrome.
This highsec WH is on a highsec island, making it impossible to get to without going through three lowsec systems and all the pirates contained wherein. And I have to get a freighter, one of the biggest, slowest ships in Eve through, or wait the 4-5 days it will take to find a BS-supporting unoccupied route again. Feeling the pangs of sleep, I go to bed with an alarm set for just after downtime, five hours from now and set the freighter to autopilot to the last highsec system.
Dreamless night, wake up, get my main outside the WH at the first lowsec, freighter jumps in, starts warping to the next lowsec gate, main char(in Buzzard) get in web range, webs, warning pops up, I ignore it, and my Buzzard starts taking gate fire as the freighter warps off.
Apparently, I had forgotten that the freighter alt was in the altcorp I had created to protect my C1 and/or hauling shenanigans from wardecs, so, panicking, I mash the “warp” button on whatever I have selected at the time, which turns out to be the next gate.
Next local has a dude in it, I warp the freighter off the gate, unassisted, lands on next gate and jumps through without incident, main char docks and buys a frig w/ webs, and after the 15 minute jerk timer, I dock the freighter in one station, undock in pod, dock in another to get an actual SHIP, undock, jettison the tritanium gratuity gift, main steals it, freighter steals it back and BAM, I can web through the last lowsec. Which I do.

Dock in highsec island, move one Dominix through before realizing that three out of the five wormholes in the chain have gone end of lifetime, and if they collapse either my freighter will be stuck on the wrong side of several lowsec gates from jita or my main, albeit buzzard-less, will be stuck far, far away from where I need his talents. I move one more ship, web the freighter through the lowsecs again and nip back home before the WH closes, which it does, fifteen minutes later.


It seemed like a really good idea at the time

You know me, I like making people laugh. As such, April Fools day is my unofficial holiday, where each year I pull some elaborate heist over a nearby friend, making an extremely trivial change that is extremely difficult to do, like swapping my friend’s car from one side of the street to the other while he sleeps.

This year, I turned my brain towards a simple, yet massive prank: In between the hours of midnight and five AM, I was going to move the WH PoS one moon to the left, then, send a corp mail saying “har har i wuz spy and stole your iskies”.

Plans were made. I wrote the letter, made safespots to hold the ships and cargo, and sat patiently and waited for the day of reckoning. Part A of the plan was to move all the ships, using the Orca or my handy ship command skills to move the ships, then the cargo, to the safe, which was about 15 AU off grid. Part B was to use a blockade runner to unanchor the guns, then the empty corp hangar, then the PoS, re-anchoring it one moon to the left, anchor corp hangar n such, guns, send the mail and go off to sleep. Predictably, things started to go horribly, horribly wrong around Part A and continued to fail explosively for the rest of the night.

At midnight, the American players in corp had gone to bed and the UK ones were not scheduled to wake up for another five hours, I started unanchoring the spare corp hangar while moving the ships from the maint bay to the safespot. I managed most of the hulks, all the Gallente ships and all other ships that would fit into the maint bay of my Orca. Then, the first problem of the night struck.

Raath (maker of staticmapper.com, for all your WH static needs), had recently purchased a Falcon, intended for use in all things jamming and currently floating in space next to the maint bay. This would normally not present a problem, since the falcon fits in the Orca’s maint bay, but he had left a module in it. For the uninformed, when a ship has a module in it it can’t be stuffed into a maintenence bay on another ship, and since I hadn’t taken the five week training session on “how to fly Caldari t2 cruisers”, the ship was going nowhere.

While I was perfectly willing to leave Raath’s Typhoon (Minmatar Battleship) floating in empty space for about twelve hours, a 100 mil Falcon hull was an entirely different story. To leave the Falcon safe, I made a a plan to scan an exit, get a small tower in with an alt, have the alt put up the tower where the old tower was in the name of the altcorp while I put up the Caldari large tower on the one moon to the left.

I start scanning, find a C5, which goes to a C6.

Russians.

To make matters worse, Russians with two carriers, two dreads and various tech 2 ships, including a Vulture (Caldari Command Ship), a ship whose skill training time is just under a third of a year.

To make matters even worse, ships were appearing and vanishing along with capsules, so they were active. I drop sister probes, do a 32 AU scan and recall probes. two sigs in system, I look at the size of the red sphere, look at the planets that it encapsulates, pick one on the edge, and warp to it, drop probes again, scan, wormhole.

Mindful of the fact that if WE saw scan probes in system, we would immediately close the connecting WH.

I pop into their static and look around. Static C4, end of lifetime, which means that I can’t risk getting an alt and tower in. I speed back through to our C6, get the Orca (250,000,000 kg) and a calculator, and pass BS and Orca through until the WH goes critical.

Making the first smart choice all night, instead of blindly passing the Orca through, I move my scan alt into the connecting WH, then jump the Orca through. Then watch, as the WH closes, leaving all of my alts on the wrong side of the WH, and no-one but me has the BM for where the ships are.

I web the orca through the Russian C6 (noticing scan probes as I do so), flee through the end of lifetime C4 link and logoff he Orca, then start scanning the 35 sig system. Literally, the last sig is the WH, C2, highsec static, Orca gets out, Covops out.

After a string of cursing, I tear through the Russian WH and wake up a corp mate. The corpmate, who logs in his Myrmidon (Gallente Battlecruiser), says that he needs combat probes to scan out the 1.5 bil pile of ships.

[ 2010.04.01 06:00:16 ] haav0c > corpmate…
[ 2010.04.01 06:00:18 ] haav0c > you busy?
[ 2010.04.01 06:00:25 ] haav0c > we’ve got a bit of a problem.
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:12 ] haav0c > and by “bit”
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:14 ] haav0c > i mean.
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:17 ] Corpmate > whats up?
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:21 ] haav0c > well
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:25 ] haav0c > say, hypothetically.
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:31 ] Corpmate > uh oh
[ 2010.04.01 06:04:35 ] haav0c > a dude made a plan for an april fools joke.
[ 2010.04.01 06:05:31 ] Corpmate > wait….it’s past midnight there already
[ 2010.04.01 06:05:37 ] Corpmate > im not falling for this
[ 2010.04.01 06:05:52 ] haav0c > >.>
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:02 ] haav0c > let’s also say that he’s been moving ships for the last hour
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:09 ] haav0c > and ran into a little snag
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:15 ] haav0c > that raath’s shiny new falcon
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:25 ] haav0c > had shit in the cargo
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:32 ] Corpmate > 😦
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:42 ] haav0c > and he wasn’t about to leave a shiny falcon floating at the old pos, so he started scanning.
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:46 ] haav0c > and found russians.
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:49 ] haav0c > active russians.
[ 2010.04.01 06:06:58 ] haav0c > so he tried to close the WH by himself.
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:02 ] haav0c > hypothetically.
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:19 ] haav0c > and let’s also say, hypothetifuckingcally.
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:28 ] Corpmate > and did this dude hypothetically lose an orca?
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:32 ] haav0c > that he is currently in an occupied system
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:37 ] haav0c > with no link to our wh
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:42 ] haav0c > and the orca logoffskied.
[ 2010.04.01 06:07:56 ] Corpmate > lololol
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:08 ] Corpmate > so ur in a russian occupied system in an orca?
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:16 ] haav0c > no, that was two WHs ago
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:25 ] haav0c > we’re safe from the russians.
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:28 ] haav0c > but…
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:42 ] haav0c > most if not all of our shit is currently floating in a safespot
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:48 ] haav0c > to which only i have the BM.
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:48 ] Corpmate > do orcas have scanners fit?
[ 2010.04.01 06:08:50 ] haav0c > no.
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:05 ] haav0c > but that’s irrelevent
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:13 ] haav0c > because i’m in a covops with the fucking orca
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:20 ] Corpmate > dude…i can’t fly most of the ships
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:23 ] haav0c > exactly.
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:32 ] haav0c > so, what i’d really, really appreciate right now
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:51 ] Corpmate > u need me to scan out the safe spot?
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:55 ] haav0c > is you scanning a route while i try to get out of WH space with the orca intact, get back into WH space and clean this shit up.
[ 2010.04.01 06:09:56 ] Corpmate > and put a bm in the can?
[ 2010.04.01 06:10:24 ] Corpmate > omg
[ 2010.04.01 06:10:33 ] Corpmate > /emote /facepalms
[ 2010.04.01 06:11:18 ] haav0c > raath and blake can…probably clean the shit up
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:13 ] haav0c > it’s…
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:16 ] haav0c > kinda southey
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:21 ] haav0c > well
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:29 ] Corpmate > about how far away?
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:30 ] haav0c > it’s not too far off the center of the system
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:33 ] haav0c > umm
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:35 ] haav0c > 10 au
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:39 ] haav0c > maybe 16
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:48 ] Corpmate > so, not a very safe spot… ….
[ 2010.04.01 06:12:50 ] haav0c > no.
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:01 ] haav0c > i kinda figured that i’d be fucking done by now.
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:04 ] Corpmate > how many ships are there?
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:12 ] haav0c > bout…ten
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:17 ] Corpmate > what kind?
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:25 ] haav0c > itty Vs, domi
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:26 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:28 ] haav0c > the hulks.
[ 2010.04.01 06:13:33 ] Corpmate > i can fly both of those
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:03 ] Corpmate > and how was this supposed to be an april fools joke? im not getting that part.
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:20 ] haav0c > included in this package was a leter saying
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:30 ] haav0c > “haha i was a spy all along i’ve taken everything”
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:39 ] Corpmate > hahahah…ic
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:56 ] haav0c > and the joke was that the pos was moved one moon to the left >.>
[ 2010.04.01 06:14:59 ] haav0c > instead of being taken.
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:08 ] haav0c > i planned this shit for months, man.
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:11 ] Corpmate > what? u moved the pos?
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:13 ] haav0c > no
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:17 ] Corpmate > thank god
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:18 ] haav0c > that was part C
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:27 ] haav0c > this right here is part A crashing and burning.
[ 2010.04.01 06:15:53 ] Corpmate > im not sure i have combat probes in my ship…so that’s a relief….hope we have some in the cargo bays
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:05 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:11 ] haav0c > the cargo bays…
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:16 ] haav0c > that i put in the ittys?
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:22 ] Corpmate > …
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:26 ] haav0c > ho boy.
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:45 ] Corpmate > so…what is left at the POS?
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:50 ] haav0c > …
[ 2010.04.01 06:16:57 ] haav0c > breaath mint and the ore.
[ 2010.04.01 06:17:10 ] Corpmate > roflmao


Thankfully, someone with more foresight than me had put combat probes in the “we’re screwed” container, which I had somehow missed in my initial “move everything to the safe” stage. He finds the ships, gets them back to the PoS, and we all log at about…five in the morning.