On Monocles and Exotic dancers

First off, let’s all thank CCP for the shiny new gun models and walking in stations. My C6 tengu multiboxing operation thanks you as they fly backwards into the void.

On topic now, there’s been a good amount of complaints from the eve community about monocles, buyable now from your local eve client using Aurum(tm), the new currency that seems a bit unnecessary. Using the current conversion rates, that works out to bil 1.4 or 60 US dollars. The main complaint is that “it’s too expensive”.

Having slept through a high school microeconomics class, sleepwalked through a college microeconomics class and gotten my ass kicked by a significantly harder college macroeconomics class, I feel qualified to say no, it isn’t.

For my main point, it’s a fucking monocle. Team fortress 2 has a monocle for their Engineer class, and though it looks awesome, especially with some other items, it has no effect on gameplay.

On a related note while the “Googly gazer” is currently prices at 12.99$, the “Teddy Roosebelt” is selling for 17.49$ atm, likewise with no effect on gameplay except fo- awww, look at the teddy bear……

Isn’t he fluffy?

Anyway, people are buying those teddy bears by the thousands. They have no impact on gameplay except for anyone that is killed by you will see not only you on the kill record but also Mr. Snuggles.

In this case, valve is satisfied with the amount of people buying the teddybears, I.E. the demand. Since these and all other online items cost nothing to make besides designing it, the supply curve is a nice constant. Thus the price is driven solely by demand, so CCP has to experiment to find the slope of the demand curve that has the most profit.

Edit: The released mail announcing the sale of 51 monocles so far confirms that CCP does, apparently, have an economist working for them. Who knew?

At time of writing CCP has announced plans to actually have items that cost less than a plex, so apart from releasing a highly expensive monocle FIRST instead of, say, after tattoos for 10 mil or something similar that could’ve setup a secondary market.

People are telling me they’re upset because this could lead to weapons and “golden ammo” being bought with cash instead of being mined by bots, built with no margin due to jita prices, bought and sold an average of six times before getting to the average capsuleer. That’s a road that no games wants to go down, and if Eve ever gets to that point, I’ll be out there with everyone else, canceling subs and posting in allcaps on forums.

Until then, enjoy the expensive pants.

P.S. How much would you pay for an exotic dancer with pole in your CQ?

A slight clarification

Blake is on vacation, I’m still here. If you feel like rage quitting due to a fatal monocle allergy or lack of trust in CCP, contract yer shit to haav0c. No matter where it is, I’ll take good care of it.

It’s my birthday today

My family sent me a 24 pack of coke bottles, a half eaten snack bag of pretzels, a walgreen’s brand Dr Pepper with “happy birthday” written on it and a chocolate croissant.

CCP got me the alt feature in scanning and delayed the JB one-per-system change for a month.

Have a great day, everyone!

whoopsie daisy

It’s a heckova feeling to be trying to memorize a psychology textbook for a midterm, click to Evegate out of utter boredom and see this:


if anyone has a telephone number or something for a CEO / Director / … now would be like a very good time to use it.

or if a director or whoever is reading eve gate, GET ON NOW


dated ten minutes old. It’s somewhere between “crap, I have to stop studying” and “awesome, I get to stop studying!”

So, I logon and PoS shields are down, SMAs destroyed and ships and wrecks are floating everywhere. A blue fleet orbits an offline tower with a CSMA, guarding it and giving me a wary eye.

In case you hadn’t gathered we’ve been hit with a corp spy. Losses aren’t so bad, but we didn’t have too much to steal. After some onlining of shields, questioning and more onlining, the shields were back up and people started pointing fingers at other peoples and some feelings were hurt.

Apparently our stepped-up recruitment drive had so many applicants we(the directors) accidentally gave access to the cap storage tower to a dude in corp for less than a week. Something about him being from another NC alliance and having a JF and ect ect ect.

Losses are at about five caps, no supers and a smattering of items. Total about 6 bil.

On the plus side, right my towers blew up and I said “fuck it” to anything moon goo related, the corp asked me to setup a moon goo chain for our pocket of nullsec. Since these towers were actually being used for things other than moon goo, tho, I had to get creative as far as where to stick the complex reactors(3000 CPU). My ceo drew the line at the cap ship storage tower.

Here’s what the end result looked like:

Despite being “impossible to understand” or something, the corp used this and various other….things and we’ve replaced most of the stuff lost. I’d like to clarify that, for the first time on this blog, these losses are not directly or indirectly my fault.

April fools failure

For those who clicked this link hoping for another story of failure in an april fools prank, there isn’t one. Apparently we’re part of W.I. now and something about not pissing the rest of the NC off and keeping a good name intact or something silly like that.

The fittings took longer than expected to plan, working out logistics and cyno timings were a nightmare, I couldn’t find the right static in time and warp bubbles are harder to anchor than I thought.

In addition, the covops pilot was started late, the Thanatos wasn’t in position due to early unforeseen circumstances, one of the Orcas got stuck in a c4 for a while and apparently some NC alliances get touchy about where you scan.

The Nomad pilot chickened out at the last minute, I wasn’t able to achieve the NC/drone coalition temp ceasefire needed for step seven, I forgot a skill I needed for covert cynos and PL was just plain unhelpful.

Learning passable Russian took longer than expected, the towers ran out of fuel and apparently Atlas was still a bit touchy about that whole broken renter agreement thing.

In addition, CCP Soundwave was too busy with Fanfest, The Mittani didn’t think it would be very funny and I am deeply sorry about mixing up “jump” and “hold gate”, everyone involved will be reimbursed.

I’d like to apologize to CCP Fallout, Dreddit, that one covops pilot who saw too much, most of Mostly Harmless and that one corp in the C4 we had to evict. My bad.

Thanks to everyone involved, I’m sorry about those carriers and I’ll do better next year, once my corp gives me back my diplomat and pos manager roles. Sheesh, some people can’t take a joke.

Edit: Last year’s failure.